I often compare querying a publication to dating or being in a relationship: “Date Your Publication” and what would dating be without cheesy, low class, creepy pick-up lines?

“I think we’ve met/Tweeted/are Facebook friends.”

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Writers really don’t have to press to find a connection with an editor in their query. Unless you’ve had an encounter the editor is going to remember, forget the wind up, just pitch. Some exceptions include: actually meeting them, talking with them and having the door left open for a pitch, regularly interacting via social networking, etc.

“Are you looking for writers?”

“Hey baby, want someone to go home with you tonight?” Of course they are looking for writers, ideas and in this market, they probably are working with freelancers more than ever. Don’t ask, just pitch and on the off chance they aren’t looking for anyone they’ll let you know. I once was turned down by a publication because they were going on hiatus for a while and weren’t sure when they would be back up and running.

“I just LOVE your magazine and would LOVE to write for you.”

“You are the hottest guy in the place tonight.” Flattery works well, but most of the time it is a pretty transparent attempt to butter the editor up while asking for work. Compliment a recent article if it ties to your pitch. “I enjoyed March’s article on Roller Derby Racing and thought you may be interested in an article profiling the last living member of the legendary “Jug Jug Team.” Steve “Roll Man” Johnson was the …”

“My friend Barbara is a great writer and…”

“My friend’s shy and wanted me to come over and…” I’m a big fan of working your connections and having a friend introduce you to an editor is good stuff, but it has to be orchestrated in the right way. The wing man has to have it going on. If they constantly miss deadlines you’re not going to win any points with the editor. Editors, like most people, judge you by your friends and associates.

“This is perfect for your magazine!”

“I’m quite a catch.” Um, let the editor be the judge of that one. Newbie writers tend to make this mistake. They are so excited about the idea, the feel and tone of the piece, they can practically smell the article on the pages.

“I’ve been following you on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. How was that sandwich you had last Thursday before you went to your staff meeting?”

“I’ve been watching you all night [insert creepy leer].” It’s one thing to follow someone in your profession, it’s another thing to cyberstalk them. Don’t be creepy and even if you do know they had a sandwich last Thursday, keep that information to yourself. Oh, and you might want to spend a little more time on your query and less on their FB.

A query is a pitch. It says “Hey, I like you and here’s what I have to offer. Interested?” But sometimes writers can go a little cliche’ or creepy when pitching to editors. The key is to remember you don’t have to hard sell a pitch. We’ve all seen the magazine writer or newspaper reporter following the editor in chief around the office begging to cover a story. It makes good TV, but in reality, good query ideas – with proper supporting sources – speak for themselves. Editors know what works for their publications no need to go after them like a hound after pork chop underpants.

Got a cheesy query pick up line? Write it below!

"Hey baby, does heaven know it's missing an angel?"

I hate it. I HATE IT when a writer says “Google me” when submitting for an assignment or worse, when asking for advice on their writing career. I’m serious, I have had a writer or two ask me about furthering their career and to then added “Google me to see my work.”

Wow. You couldn’t bother to include a link in your email? Are you that busy? Do you think I’m not busy so I have the time and motivation to go looking for “Jane Smith” throughout the Google-verse? Or do you think it makes you look good that your name has the G juice?

It’s a cheesy pick-up line.

Saying “Google me” is like saying  “If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.” Eww. All it really reveals is you’re too lazy or amateur to include links to your work, or too lazy to have business cards or build an online portfolio.

It can lead to unpleasant discoveries.

Trust me, I’m going to look you up, especially if you’re lame. I’m going to go deeper and likely discover a gang of throwaway articles you’d rather I didn’t see.

You’re not the only star in the universe.

What happens when I look you up and find several writers with your name or close to your name. Which one are you? I’ll have to spend time looking around and once I’ve even found a writer’s site that I liked better and contacted them instead of the writer that sent me on the random search.

If you don’t respect my time now…

…you probably won’t respect it later when it is time to turn in a piece by deadline and that’s not a chance many editors and clients are willing to take.

Why?

Why would I Google you to help you get the job or assignment, etc. when writers 1-20 included links to their work in their queries. I may come back later and look…but probably not.

I sound a bit hostile huh? This is a behavior that is getting a bit out of hand lately and I thought it was important to teach why it is wrong, rather than merely fume about it. It is professional, standard procedure to submit links to your work and/or online portfolio when submitting a query, job app or seeking advice. Not doing so won’t earn you renegade status, just broke status as editors hit delete.

Last week I named a few things you shouldn’t say to an editor “5 Things You NEVER Say to an Editor” and the post was pretty darn popular so I figured it was only practical to give a couple of tips on things editor’s love to hear from writers.

5. “I need help.”

Writers like to present a tough facade. They want to show they have everything under control and worry that asking their editors for help on a piece will cost them future work. On the contrary, editors love to know a writer will come to them for help because it ensures they will get the article they asked for, not the one a writer thought they wanted. If you are unsure of what the editor wants, encounter a major issue, i.e. with sources, or are having trouble working a particular angle, let your editor know. They’ll help come up with sources or approve a new angle, it’s their job. Just don’t wait until the last minute.

4. “You can reach me at: (614) 555.1234.”

There is nothing worse than having an issue with an article right before you go to print and you can’t get in touch with the author. Sure there is email, but as you anxiously refresh your Twitter page and email hoping for a response, you find yourself wishing, woefully, they had included a phone number in their correspondence.

Many editors are assigning work to writers without ever speaking to them over the phone – the power of technology! Unfortunately, where there is power, there is pain. Contrary to popular belief, writers aren’t in front of their computers every hour of the day and in every time zone. We leave the house, have internet troubles, and *gasp* take a break from social media and microblogging! Having an alternate means of contact an incredibly important, often overlooked courtesy.

3. “I’m available for edits.”

A Twitter friend reminded me after the 5 Thing You Never Say article that writers should keep themselves available for revisions. (Thanks NancyDWrites!) Some writers will say they are too busy to do revisions or become offended at the request. Both responses are a sure way to make the Do Not Call list. You want to do your own rewrites and edits. You are familiar with the information, sources, etc. it really is your responsibility. Do you really want someone else calling all the editing shots on your piece when you can do it yourself?

2. “I saw the great piece you published on (subject here).”

This helps establish a relationship with the editor. You don’t have to be best pals, but it helps keep your name in the front of the editor’s brain and shows you are keeping up with the publication. It’s a good idea to touch base with an editor every so often without asking for work. That’s building a relationship. Remember to keep the emails short and friendly professional.

1. “Here’s my article (turned in early!).”

OK, you don’t have to say the “turned in early part,” they’ll know. Getting a quality, ready to publish article in early is like sending a gift wrapped hug to an editor – it gives them warm, fuzzies, makes their lives easier and instantly puts you into the ‘favorable writer’ category.

We all joke about crazy editors and their goofball demands. Editors, for the most part, have a good chuckle too because they know some of their peers are pretty nutty. Here at FWJ we often reinforce a writer’s right to push back – professionally – against edits, cheer on as they ask for more work, better pay, etc., however sometimes a writer can take things too far. There are a few things you should never say to an editor, especially if you ever want to work with them again.

5. “You’re just a frustrated writer.”

It could be true, it really could be your editor doesn’t have it in them to formulate an article from scratch, but they have no qualms about taking your article and reworking most of it to fit their own voice. Saying so, however, is not only rude, it is also a baseless accusation. Not cool.

4. “So-in-so at (competition publication) would love this piece.”

“Perhaps they would, good luck with that *click*,” would be my response to a writer pulling that low brow threat out of their butt. There are ways to negotiate and there are ways to make an offer more appealing, a threat like this will land you and your piece in the permanent slush pile.

3. “I know what the readers want.”

No, the editors know what the readers want, you may have a pretty good idea which is why your pitching your query, but ultimately the editor has a better understanding than you. No one wants to hear you are better at their job than they are it is never a good way to make waves.

2. “I was so sick it was coming out of both ends, it looked like…”

TMI or too much information is an epidemic in this share all, instant message, Facebook society and too many writers damage their professional relationships by rushing into a awkward, often one-sided relationship with editors. If we only talk via email about queries and payments, I don’t want to suddenly become your best friend and become privy to your non-work related exploits. Yelk!

1. “I’m going to miss my deadline.”

This deadend line will quickly turn you into the ‘not go-to-writer.’ Missing a deadline is serious business. Do writers miss deadlines? Yep. Do they have to tell their editor? Yep. Should you do everything absolutely possible to make sure it never happens to you? Absolutely.

There’s this thing called ‘burning bridges’ and people are always advised against doing so. I tend to agree, the writing community is small and rude or outrageous writers are likely to earn a reputation that matches their unprofessional behavior.

Want to add to the list? Give your tips below!

Pitching queries for magazines can be a bit like playing fortune teller. You have to be in tune to what the audience will want to read six months from now. In my post “Are you thinking about Christmas yet? You should be…” I talked about the long lead time for magazines, how writers need to use their insider contacts and hunches on trending topics to pitch specifics to mags and how they should look for new angles on evergreen topics.

What if you don’t have a talkative insider? To get a future cast, all you really need to do is talk to an expert. Experts and angles on evergreen topics can be found just about anywhere.

Keep your ears open.

Go where the people are – if you are interested in what college kids will be thinking and talking about next October, go to where they are now and soak up the atmosphere and information. Pull up a chair and your laptop in public places and eavesdrop. It’s not as creepy as it sounds, if you’re a real writer you’re naturally nosey and would be listening in anyway so you might as well use your natural curiosity to generate ideas and income. Use your Twitter and other social media to see what people are talking about.

Keep you eyes open.

Eavesdropping is fun and informative, but I have to argue people watching is more fun. I write a lot about parenting and kids issues and let me tell you there is nothing more inspiring than sitting at the mall in the middle of the day watching people with their kids. I get ideas about ways to keep kids safe, helpful tricks and time saving techniques from inventive parents, social interaction issues like “Should you discipline other people’s kids,” “Settling playdate disputes,” “When parenting styles clash,” and more!

Beyond people watching, watch for events in the field you’re interested in covering. I look for and go to parenting seminars, family festivals, lectures from experts, advertisements for new products and services, etc. Subscribe to free pr distribution sites and set up your filters to screen for topics geared toward your beat/interest or niche.

What’s past is prologue.

If you have your eye on a specific publication, often reading what they covered a year or two ago will give you a good idea on what they will cover in the future. Studying a publication is not only good way to find out what evergreen topics they’ve covered, you can also get a feel for what angle has been covered. Interview experts who proved they had their finger on the pulse of the future last year. When querying you can point to their knack for being ahead of the pack.

Got any tips for predicting publication futures? Tell us below!

I got a great question from a FWJ follower & thought it would make a great post. Aja writes:

Hi Terreece,
I am not sure if this fits with your query tip column or not. I know that most queries include information on who will be interviewed for the article but at what point do you line up the interviews? Do you contact the person prior to submitting the query and ask whether they would be be willing to be interviewed and conduct the interview after the article is accepted, do you interview the person first, then submit the query, or do you pitch the article based on who you would like to interview and then contact that person. Thank you for reading my question.

Hi Aja!

I always contact a source before I include them in a query. Even if you have a relationship with the source, it is always good form to get their permission first. Deciding to conduct the interview before sending out the query is really up to the writer. In my query letters I usually introduce the source(s), give a wee bit of background information like their area of expertise, i.e. the name of their new book or other information to show how they are connected to the article and sometimes I include a few sample questions.

Sometimes you are not able to land the source before you want to send in your query. It is okay to list a few people you’d like to contact, but make sure you make it clear you haven’t spoken with them. If you are unable to land them after you’ve been given the assignment, be sure to update your editor and provide an alternative and comparable source. This scenario can get a little complicated if who you said you’d be interviewing is the key reason you scored the assignment.

If you do interview a source before getting the assignment approved, make it clear to them that you are shopping the article around. The worse thing you can do is give the impression that the article has already been assigned. If you tell a source you hope to have the article placed in one magazine, but wind up selling it to another, make sure you update them. Some sources have issues with certain publications and it just makes sense to cover all your bases. Hope this helps and thanks for the question Aja!

Got any advice for Aja? Got a query question? Email me today & you may just see your question on Freelance Writing Jobs!

Writers tend to meet with, connect and befriend other writers. We build social networks and professional contacts that are both supportive and invaluable. These same contacts can be used to help get your foot in the door with editors and publications.

Now before you hustle off to pitch a magazine using the name of a Twitter friend who has also written for them,  you should know there is a fair amount of courtesy and responsibility that comes with using someone’s name to further your career.

The first thing you have to do is ask the person – seems obvious, but many people ignore this simple common courtesy.

Remember, before you ask permission, be sure you two actually have a relationship. Have you ever recommended a friend or family member for a job only for them to turn out to be a less than stellar or, at times, adequate worker? The same thing happens in writing.

An established writer can count on a couple of things: requests for hook-ups and advice. Advice is free to give as long as a person has time, but a hook-up costs. Many established writers are reluctant to allow their good name, one they’ve worked years to build, to be muddied with an editor because a writer-friend turned out to be a chronic deadline blower.

Part II of Work Your Contacts will discuss when and how to ask a friend for help and how to use their name to attract the attention of an editor.

Many writers don’t realize the importance of making sure their query makes it to the correct editor. The writing market is more competitive than ever with publications either downsizing or folding completely there are more writers looking for a way into the remaining or newest magazines. Time is of the essence and being accurate with your query is an essential part to making the cut. It also shows you pay attention to detail and that makes a better impression than a “Dear Editor” query with generic name title that was forwarded on by someone in a completely different department.

Checking the masthead is no longer enough to make sure you’re sending your piece to the right person. As a result of the shifts in the publishing world, many editors and editorial assistants have changed departments, positions or moved to new magazines and the magazine’s latest masthead may not reveal the changes. Take the time to place a quick call or email to ensure that the person you’re trying to contact is still in the same position.

Same goes for contacts you currently have in your roster. Not everyone sends out those helpful and courteous emails that informs their contacts they are leaving or changing positions and even less people are listing who the new contact person will be, so it’s up to you to send a quick shout out.

Not taking the time to pin point the correct editor/editorial assistant is like taking your query and tossing it into the wind. It has about the same chance of making it into the publication. Don’t waste your time or other editor’s by sending your info to the wrong person.

Got a query question? Email me (terreece@terreececlarke.com) and get your answers in my next Query Quick Tip column!

It happens to all of us every once in a while. You need an idea for a column, blog or  article and you can’t quite seem to come up with an idea that grabs your interest. Sometimes normal sources of information just doesn’t cut it. Sometimes you gotta have friends.

Soliciting article advice from friends is a great way to put your social networking skills to good use. Tap your Twitter buddies and your Facebook friends to help you come up with the next, best idea for your work.

Make sure you tap your friends who are not writers, they often give the best ideas and angles for a story. These are people who aren’t tainted by the writing process and the burden of reading so much in a particular niche. It is also an exercise in digging for the story because most of the ideas thrown at you aren’t in query, blog, or article ready form. Turn a general “What about health care” suggestion into a working topic by asking questions about people’s concerns, local health care issues, or something germane to your niche or target audience.

“What about health care?” can breakdown into:

• Pet Insurance Do’s & Don’ts
• Finding coverage for children
• Local health care advocate news
• Health issues in your state, city, school
• Where your local Congressman stands on health care

The options are endless and I guarentee you’ll not only be able to gather great ideas from your friends, you’ll be able to find some pretty good sources among them as well.

Have you ever used a social networking site to gather ideas for an article? Tell us below.

Editors and editorial assistants hold a lot of power. They have the power to say yes to your query or they can stab your carefully crafted piece in the heart with a kill fee. This power can sometimes have the ability to corrupt even the nicest, most well-behaved editor, but what can a lowly writer do when faced with an editor whose behavior rivals a 5 year old’s?

First of all, stop thinking of yourself as lowly. Writers are an essential part of a magazine/publication/web site. The editors and editorial assistants can’t write the entire publication on their own and need writers to help come up with ideas and obviously, write pieces.

Next, try to define the behavior. Is the editor really bad at communicating in a quick and clear way? They may be busy and distracted which could explain why your email query or question hasn’t been answered. A quick and polite email saying, “Hey, I know you’re busy. I just wanted to check to see if you received my email, etc,” might help out the situation.

If it’s more serious – rude behavior, demeaning behavior or just plain old nastiness, then you need to decide if it’s something you can put up with or not. Honestly, sometimes you have to cut a publication loose. It takes a lot of gump sometimes to say enough, but when trouble is  outpacing the paycheck….

I write a lot here about what writers can do to become more professional, how they can make themselves indispensable to editors, but I would be remiss in not talking about times when there’s really nothing you can do with someone who is on a power trip.

Late pays, no pays, a billion rewrites, dismissive or rude comments…it all happens and the best thing you can do is remain professional and make a break for the hills.

So now it’s your turn – dish! What’s your favorite story of bad editor behavior?