Cheesy Query Pick-Up Lines

I often compare querying a publication to dating or being in a relationship: “Date Your Publication” and what would dating be without cheesy, low class, creepy pick-up lines?

“I think we’ve met/Tweeted/are Facebook friends.”

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Writers really don’t have to press to find a connection with an editor in their query. Unless you’ve had an encounter the editor is going to remember, forget the wind up, just pitch. Some exceptions include: actually meeting them, talking with them and having the door left open for a pitch, regularly interacting via social networking, etc.

“Are you looking for writers?”

“Hey baby, want someone to go home with you tonight?” Of course they are looking for writers, ideas and in this market, they probably are working with freelancers more than ever. Don’t ask, just pitch and on the off chance they aren’t looking for anyone they’ll let you know. I once was turned down by a publication because they were going on hiatus for a while and weren’t sure when they would be back up and running.

“I just LOVE your magazine and would LOVE to write for you.”

“You are the hottest guy in the place tonight.” Flattery works well, but most of the time it is a pretty transparent attempt to butter the editor up while asking for work. Compliment a recent article if it ties to your pitch. “I enjoyed March’s article on Roller Derby Racing and thought you may be interested in an article profiling the last living member of the legendary “Jug Jug Team.” Steve “Roll Man” Johnson was the …”

“My friend Barbara is a great writer and…”

“My friend’s shy and wanted me to come over and…” I’m a big fan of working your connections and having a friend introduce you to an editor is good stuff, but it has to be orchestrated in the right way. The wing man has to have it going on. If they constantly miss deadlines you’re not going to win any points with the editor. Editors, like most people, judge you by your friends and associates.

“This is perfect for your magazine!”

“I’m quite a catch.” Um, let the editor be the judge of that one. Newbie writers tend to make this mistake. They are so excited about the idea, the feel and tone of the piece, they can practically smell the article on the pages.

“I’ve been following you on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. How was that sandwich you had last Thursday before you went to your staff meeting?”

“I’ve been watching you all night [insert creepy leer].” It’s one thing to follow someone in your profession, it’s another thing to cyberstalk them. Don’t be creepy and even if you do know they had a sandwich last Thursday, keep that information to yourself. Oh, and you might want to spend a little more time on your query and less on their FB.

A query is a pitch. It says “Hey, I like you and here’s what I have to offer. Interested?” But sometimes writers can go a little cliche’ or creepy when pitching to editors. The key is to remember you don’t have to hard sell a pitch. We’ve all seen the magazine writer or newspaper reporter following the editor in chief around the office begging to cover a story. It makes good TV, but in reality, good query ideas – with proper supporting sources – speak for themselves. Editors know what works for their publications no need to go after them like a hound after pork chop underpants.

Got a cheesy query pick up line? Write it below!

Query Quick Tip: Get Your Query to the Right Editor

Many writers don’t realize the importance of making sure their query makes it to the correct editor. The writing market is more competitive than ever with publications either downsizing or folding completely there are more writers looking for a way into the remaining or newest magazines. Time is of the essence and being accurate with your query is an essential part to making the cut. It also shows you pay attention to detail and that makes a better impression than a “Dear Editor” query with generic name title that was forwarded on by someone in a completely different department.

Checking the masthead is no longer enough to make sure you’re sending your piece to the right person. As a result of the shifts in the publishing world, many editors and editorial assistants have changed departments, positions or moved to new magazines and the magazine’s latest masthead may not reveal the changes. Take the time to place a quick call or email to ensure that the person you’re trying to contact is still in the same position.

Same goes for contacts you currently have in your roster. Not everyone sends out those helpful and courteous emails that informs their contacts they are leaving or changing positions and even less people are listing who the new contact person will be, so it’s up to you to send a quick shout out.

Not taking the time to pin point the correct editor/editorial assistant is like taking your query and tossing it into the wind. It has about the same chance of making it into the publication. Don’t waste your time or other editor’s by sending your info to the wrong person.

Got a query question? Email me (terreece@terreececlarke.com) and get your answers in my next Query Quick Tip column!

Are you thinking about Christmas yet? You should be…

If  you are thinking about pitches for magazines you need to be several months ahead of the curve. I know the last thing anyone wants to think about right now is snow, cold weather and roasting chestnuts, but thinking ahead is a great way to get your pitch approved.

When everyone else is thinking about decking the halls, editors are looking to spring fashions and top summer vacation spots. Thinking and working on magazine editors’ schedules will help in getting your work to the top of the heap.

When thinking ahead, writers need to balance general with specific. Editors take risks looking to trends and future happenings and if you think you have a good beeline on a trend, go ahead and pitch it. Be prepared with great sources or a record of being an expert in the field to back up your pitch.

When pitching the general, look back at the last two years or more of seasonal information. This is a lot easier now with magazines putting much of their information online. A magazine isn’t going to put out the same topics every year at every holiday season. Even if summer articles always talk about sun safety, there’s something new offered each time, new products, latest research, etc. Think about a new angle, perspective or product debut you can add to your pitch.

Baby Talk magazine had a great article this month on sun safety for moms and talked to several moms who found out they had skin cancer. They talked to one mother about how she didn’t think she could get it because of her olive skin tone. The stories took a tried and true topic and made it interesting again.

There are many components to be a great freelance writer. Being able to anticipate is one of them. What trends are you recognizing in your niche or in an area you’re interested? What magazines would be receptive and why? How timely will the information be in six months? Answer these questions in your pitch and you may have yourself a winner!

Query Challenge – Dear Random Editor:

by Terreece M. Clarke

“Dear Editor: This is a fantastic query. It’s a hot topic and perfect for your biggest issue of the year. It’s well-researched and has a fantastic expert on board for an interview. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the time to find out which editor I should send it to. Sure I could have sent a quick email or picked up the phone to be sure that the person on the masthead is still there and in the department, but I decided to go generic. Just any random editor at the publication. So now my query is stuck being passed around. Maybe it’ll find it’s way to the right spot. Maybe it’ll end up in the spam folder or under a pile of to-do’s on someone’s desk. By the time it reaches you though, you would have already assigned out the articles for that issue. Or when it does reach you, you’ll be annoyed by the “Dear Editor” and question my dedication to research. Sincerely, Freelance Writer”

One of the most important parts of a query is the editor’s name. Spell it wrong and you’re toast. Don’t bother to find it out and you’re lazy. Address it to the old editor or wrong section and you’re sloppy. It’s like the SATs, you get points just for getting the name correct.

Finding out which editor you should send a query to is as simple as picking up the phone or sending a short email. Checking the masthead is the first step, but think about when the magazine was sent to the publisher, a lot of things can change when you have such a long lead time. Suzy P. Editor or Dan Q. Writesalot may not be with the magazine may have been promoted or moved to a different area of the magazine.

It doesn’t have to be a long conversation or email. “I’m sending in a query on [subject] and I want to be sure I’m sending it to the correct person. I have [name & email addy or mailing add] is that correct? The person on the phone will be glad you checked and will give you the info you need. You may even get lucky enough to get the actual editor and they may ask for more info right then and there. Hello! Foot in the door!

Double check the spelling. Allyson, Allison, Alleson? If you can’t get their name right when asking for a job, an editor immediately wonders about what will be wrong with your article.

So what’s in a name? Everything. Get it right for query success!

How’s that query challenge coming? Anyone send out their queries? Any responses yet? Keep us in the loop!