Honestly. There are no words…

Reply to:
Date: 2009-01-11, 4:34PM EST

Hello. My name is Richard. I’m a born and raised New Yorker, who is in the middle of writing a play, which (knock on wood) should be up in June.
The story entails a woman in a Real Estate Office who feels as if she’s been sexually harassed by one of her “superiors” (a male coworker).
The back end of her character is she is a repeated victim of sexual, physical, and psychological abuse as a child. This, in turn, drives her to have many unresolved issues, with men of power — in or out of the workplace.

My wish is to have the opportunity to interview women who find themselves in the adult-film, nude modeling, or prostitution business.
Please do not take this as placing a value judgement on women who work in these industries. My main focus is to find out the reasons as to why they have chosen (or perhaps, in some instances, been coerced) to be part of this lifestyle.
Unfortunately, I can only offer 15 dollars cash per hour.
All participants will remain anonymous, and privacy will be respected.

* Compensation: 15 dollars cash per hour
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Phone calls about this job are ok.
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

And really no words are needed from me because Jodee summed it up pretty well when she said “I would think that anyone doing porn or turning tricks is making a heck of a lot more than $15 per hour…but hey…..”

by Deb Ng

Don’t get me wrong. I love that so many of you visit our blogs every day and I hope you continue to visit. After all, we’re a great place to network and find leads, especially now with our new forum. However, I’m also aware that we’re a great place to procrastinate as well.

I’m not trying to scare you away,  without you there wouldn’t be us. However, if you find you’re only here because you have no other writing tasks, I’d like to offer you a list of things you can do with your spare time.

1. Troll for leads – There are so many places to look for freelance writing work. Some writers are complaining of slim pickings, but in my travels I see at least 20 to 30 good leads a day. How many are you finding?
2. Network - As we discussed other times, networking is essential for a successful freelance writing career. You can meet people who hire, people who know people who hire, people who know places that hire, people who have ideas and tips to share and more.
3. Go through your accounts – Have all your clients been invoiced? Have all your invoices been paid? Is your paperwork filed away? Tidy up your accounts and chase payments if necessary.
4. Read – Read books, blogs and magazines about writing or the topics you write about.
5. Answer your email – Stop procrastinating! If you’re like me your email piles up if you don’t get to it right away. Deal with it and move on.
6. Work on your book or ebook – Only a few pages left to do of mine, how ’bout you?
7. Do some cold-calling – Local businesses need writers. Find them by cold calling.
8. Work ahead – If you have blog posts or articles that need to be done next week or the week after, do them early and have a stress free end of the month.
9. Research – Research different places to work or topics of interest.
10. Writing prompts - Keep those creative juices flowing with writing prompts. Who knows? An innocent prompt can be the next great American novel!

What should you be doing right now?

I apologize in advance for the harsh treatment your eyes are about to receive:

TALENTED FREELANCE NEEDED FOR A BIG PROJECT (Midtown East)
Reply to:
Date: 2009-01-04, 7:32PM EST

THIS IS FOR A NEW SOCIAL SITE

SITE WILL INCLUDE, GOSSIP AND REAL NEWS ON SPORTS,MUSIC,TV,MOVIES

THIS IS A REAL SITE AND WILL OPERATE ON A LEVEL OF TMZ/THISIS50.COM

THIS WEBSITE WILL REQUIRE AGGRESSIVE DEDICATED WRITERS WHO WILL NEED TO TAKE EVERYDAY EVENTS AND WRITE ABOUT THEM IN AN INTERESTING WAY WITH A PIC OR PICS INCLUDED

YOU WILL RECIEVE A REAL CONTRACT TO WORK ON THIS SITE,THIS CONTRACT WILL GURANTEE SITE OWNERS PRIVACY AS WELL AS INSURANCE THAT YOU WILL BE A REAL EMPLOYEE OF THE SITE

PAYMENT IS POSSIBLE

REPLY WITH ALL QUESTIONS AND RESUME

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Here’s what we know for sure:

• This is a real website
• You will get a real contract
• It’s a big project
• You will be a real employee

And yet payment is only a possibility.

by Deb Ng

It’s no secret I have plenty of followers. It humbles me to know there are so many people interested in what I have to say or that I tell funny little stories about my dog. At least I hope that’s why you follow me, I’d hate to be followed just for the sake of being followed.

Let me explain…

Recently I received several friend requests on Facebook and some follows on Twitter that have me scratching my head. For instance, the person who told me I was a fake and a phony two years ago, and the person who last year told me I was a horrible advice giver and the people who subscribe to this blog “sheep.”

Why would they want to follow me? I mean, if they don’t agree with me or what I do, why the follow? Am I being followed just for the sake of racking up friends and followers, or do these folks really want to reach out and enjoy my company – just as I would theirs??

When you follow someone on Twitter or friend someone on FaceBook, do you give good thought to the reasons behind the follow or is it just to have some cool names on your list?

Discuss…

by Deborah Ng

Thanks to Terrece for passing on the link to this gem. How interesting is today’s advertiser? Very, very important:

Looking for a writer/editor for my book (Columbus, ohio)
Reply to:
Date: 2008-11-27, 12:07AM EST

I’m writing a very interesting life story about my childhood. I’m looking for someone who is willing to work with me finalizing the book, and share the profit when the book starts to sell. I believe this book can make a great movie; thus, the profit potential is high. If you’re interested email me, and we can take it from there.

* Location: Columbus, ohio
* Compensation: Will profit from the book!
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

The other day a friend told me I should write a book about my life experiences because he finds them so interesting. The thing is, while all this might be interesting to one person, I can assure you the majority of the world would find a story about a freelance writer turned blogger turned Community Manager rather dull.I always wonder if the majority of the people who find themselves so interesting they need to write a book are sort of on the dull side too.

Even if he’s not duller than dirt, I’m thinking he might have a rather high opinion of himself. I mean, he already has plans for his interesting life to be turned into a book AND a movie. In fact, he feels his life is so interesting he’s sure established editors and writers are going to take him up on his offer to write for nothing. Or the promise of something which we know means a whole lot of work for nothing.

Unless Dude already has a contract in his hands, I’d pass on this offer. Interesting as it may be.

by Deb Ng

Today’s Craigslister wants to write a book. He has a problem though:

A new writer… (forest hills)
Reply to:
Date: 2008-11-18, 11:20AM EST

Now heres the deal…

Ive started writing a few months ago and ive written a few blogs here and there and ive been told that my writing style is “new”.

Im a straight out guy that will write just about anything. Ive been thinking of writing a book or a novel for a few weeks and im really new to the whole literary field. Im not new at anything else trust me. Im a designer working with the most down to earth people ever. If your a writer or have experience in this whole fancy industry email me back up. Im looking for a partner with this and I guess whatever happens with the book, its 50-50. Im not looking to make history or be a one-hit wonder. Im an interesting person and EVERYBODY should know it.

* Location: forest hills
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: ..

We have a few problems. Contractions. Apostrophes…so I’m thinking he doesn’t want a writing partner as much as he wants someone to do the whole thing for him.  I don’t know how new his writing style is though. I mean, my six year old sort of has the same style, if you know what I mean. I guees when it really comes down to it though, the important thing is that he’s an interesting, down to earth, designer and everyone should know it.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

by Deb Ng

It’s bad enough kids are paying others to do their homework for them:

12 Page Paper Due Tuesday (Anywhere)

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Reply to:
Date: 2008-11-09, 6:10PM EST

12 pages, double spaced, with an outline. Due Tuesday by 10 AM EST.

• Location: Anywhere
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: 200

Someone didn’t do his homework. He was too busy partying or hanging out or playing PS2 until 3:00 a.m. to write his 12 page paper. When does he realize it’s not going to get done? Sunday evening at 6:10 p.m. and when is it due? Tuesday morning. And he’s offering $16 a page for his rush job.

I ask you, do we expect anyone unethical enough to churn out dude’s homework for him by Tuesday morning to turn in an A or even a B paper? Me neither. And he deserves every bit of his F.

by Deborah Ng

I’m not sure where to begin here. The mind boggles.

Big Magazine Looking for Male Weekly Writers (Midtown)

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Reply to:
Date: 2008-11-05, 8:58AM EST

An ongoing magazine project seeks writers of all ages to keep short seven-day diaries of their relationship lives. We love women, so please feel free to respond, but we’re particularly looking for men in their 30s, 40s and 50s to tell us what they’re really thinking about their love lives. It’s a great chance to get a clip. Normal-to-boring lives are great, as are active ones. Your name will not appear. We’ll happily send you the information after you respond with your age, orientation, employment and neighborhood. Thanks!

We’ll happily send you the information after you respond with your age, orientation, employment and neighborhood.

Thanks!

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: no pay

So. This is a job for a BIG magazine. A BIG one, people. It’s so big, you don’t get a byline or pay. It’s a great way to get a clip though, because editors will surely delight in seeing your non-bylined, non-paying diary.

Really, what says “hire me” to a potential client than a scribbled journal of a man’s “normal to boring life” with no name attached to it?

Clip this, buddy.