I have always been a reluctant writer. Never wanted to write because I am being paid to do so. Yet, it is only when I write and find another soul that appreciates my creative piece do I feel complete and ecstatic and essential. My friends think I am a good writer and couldn’t understand why I refuse to pursue my only passion. But how do you pursue something you’re not even certain you’re really good at? Basically, it boils down to my fear of failure and rejection. I know deep inside I can deliver; but I’m so scared of hearing the word “NO!” to any of my work. I detest the thought of finding out that I am not really good at the only thing I always believed I was good at. Talk about self-confidence, huh!

But what the heck, I was born to write and it’s about time I admit and do something about it or be left behind by this elusive dream of happiness that is running away faster than I could catch up with it. So how or where do I start? Can somebody tell me, please?

As for now though, I will nurture this dream until it finally figures out how to hatch out of this obstinate head of mine. Until then, I’ll keep writing whenever and however. And just keep on dreaming someday, one day, one free soul will see my worth as a writer and take me out of my bleak and dreary world of uncertainties and insecurities. Maybe then, I can embrace and comprehend the true meaning of finally realizing a dream.

Recently, a publisher has picked up my manuscript – WHIPPOORWILL: Journey Through Grief – and had offered me a book publication contract. That’s good, but it will be a long time for I see any funds & am very unsure what to expect. I hear my writer’s blood calling me, so hope to do some free-lance work to ride out the recession. At one time, I published a regional magazine & may look back into re-starting that. It was a lot of work – more work than I could continue doing while running a large education program. Now, all I have is time!

Thinking of others who are in the same boat as I. It’s everywhere – lay-off’s, etc. My son got laid off this Monday. He just graduated with his BS Degree on Saturday. Just bought a house. Just got married…..You know the drill.

Don’t forget to watch the sun rise & the sun set. It helps to remind me what is really important in life! The Lord has directed our path thus far. It is hard when the fog settles in & you can’t see your way beyond one step at a time. Keep walking!!

Take care.
Lynn N.