Dear Miss Deb,

I help you blog. I blog good to you. Yes?

Haito K.

Dear Haito,

No.

– Miss Deb

Dear Deb,

I think you’re only pretending to write so you can have traffic.

– Name withheld by request even though it was probably anonymous.

Dear Anonymous,

You got me. I’m faking it. Am I pulling it off?

– Deb

Dear Deb,

How much would could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck would?

–  Kevin S.

Dear Kevin,

It’s “wood,” Kevin,  not “would.” How much WOOD could a woodchuck chuck…see that’s what woodchucks do, they chuck wood. Except where I come from that means toss, so are woodchucks tossing wood? In any event, would or wood, I don’t know how much they’re chucking or really what chucking entails. Do keep me posted if you find out the answer.

Chuckingly yours,

Deb

Dear DebNg,

Someone said on Twitter you have too much email. This is your lucky day. My daughter is looking for an afterschool job an she can be your virtial assistant. We’re not sure how much virtial assitants make but realy assistants make $30 an hour. Since my daughter is only virtial you can pay her $25. I will only charge a $50 finder fee if you hire her. If you don’t like her I can be your virtial assistant and you don’t have to pay a finder fee.

– Name withheld by Deb

Dear Name,

Thanks but at the moment I’m not in need of an assitant, virtial or otherwise.

Good luck to your daughter!

– Deb

Dear Deb,

…I’m moving to New Jersey in the spring. My wife and I are born and bred East Coasters and know nothing of the area. Can you recommend a housekeeper?

– Name withheld

Dear Withheld,

Sure thing. While I’m at it, would you also like the names of my personal chef and limo driver?

Ta…

Deb