Freelance Writing Jobs and Other Stuff

You're Hired! Don't Blow It...

Deborah Ng — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:50:32 +0000

by Deborah Ng As freelancers we know there's no better feeling than knowing we were chosen to do a job out of dozens, if not hundreds of applicants. Something about our writing styles set us apart from the rest, and that has us walking upon air. With some writers that pleasure is short-lived. Even though landing the gig is the hard part, they find it tough to keep interested in their assignment. So if you want to turn your clients into repeat clients, and you want the gig to be something steady, it's best to be on your best behavior, even if the job isn't as exciting as you anticipated.

First, a story

Once upon a time, there was an up and coming freelance writer and blogger. She worked hard to land gigs and get herself noticed. When she was hired to work for a notable website she was elated. After a few months she was bored to tears and didn't put her all into the gig. And it showed. Several months later she left said job, as prestigious as it was. When she was on the short list for another great opportunity she asked her former editor for a recommendation. The editor said, "I'm sorry but I can't do that. I know you have made a name for yourself and people look up to you, but you didn't put your all into this job. You were late with assignments, missed deadlines and made promises you didn't keep. Now, you'll probably get the job having this on your resume, but if I'm asked to recommend you, I can't do that." Whoa. Did that hit home! The freelancer was devastated. Even though she got the job, her former editor's words stung. She knew there was a note of truth to them. She prided herself on her reputation as a reliable freelancer and mentor of others, but she didn't put enough of an effort into the boring gig,and it showed. She got lazy and someone called her on it. After that, she made it a point to do the best job possible, even if the work was boring. The moral of the story? If someone hires you to do a job they're trusting you to meet deadlines and do the work to the best of your ability, even if it bores you to tears. You're only as good as your reputation, blow that and no one will hire you.

Here are a few ways to ensure clients turn into repeat business

1. Communicate: By keeping the lines of communication open, you're creating trust. Your editor needs to know where you stand on your projects. If you're having difficulty, contact her to see what you can work out. If you need an extension of your deadline or the workload is unrealistic, communicate. There's no reason to contact your editor at the last moment possible to give bad news. 2. Meet your deadlines: Even though I'm offering up the obligatory blurb, this is self-explanatory. Deadlines are given for a reason. Your editor needs the lead time to proofread, format, and give your content to the tech or art departments so they can do their thing. If you miss your deadline, you screw over several people. 3. Keep your promises: If you promise a word count, keep your word count. If you promises sources and interviews, find them. If you promise work by a certain day, meet the deadline. Nothing is worse than a writer who offers lots of promises but gives excuses in return. 4. Turn in top-notch work: Don't put off a gig until the last minute and turn in some hastily written, off the top of your head piece of garbage filled with misspellings. Consider every piece of writing you submit to be part of your portfolio. Someone, somewhere will read it and it could lose you a good gig somewhere down the line. 5. Don't accept a gig unless you intend to give it your all: The freelancer in our story accepted gigs from notable companies because of the boost it gave to her resume. She hated the work though, and it showed. When her editor from a prestigious gig wouldn't give her a job recommendation later on, she realized she got lazy because she didn't like the work. Don't accept a job because of the name, accept a job because it's something you'll enjoy and something you know will produce good results.

Freelance Freedom

Freelancing is a dream. We have the freedom to pick and choose our clients and make our own hours but we can't rest on our laurels. Many freelancers have to rely on client recommendations and our own good name to continue having repeat clients. If you get lazy or can't get into a gig it shows. Ensure a good reputation by meeting deadlines, communicating with your client and delivering on what you promise. Trust me, they notice.

Craigslist Ad of the Day: "The So What if I Don't Pay, At Least I'm Honest" Ad

Deborah Ng — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:49:28 +0000

Honesty is the best policy, right?

awkward blogger needed.

Reply to: Date: 2008-10-23, 9:03AM PDT
Okay. We can't pay you. Not even a dollar. However, we can ensure you will get some good laughs and possibly get a break from the 9 to 5 grind every once in a while. Hey, you may even have the opportunity to live vicariously through one of us and feel better about where you are at this point in your life. Either way, we need someone with the following:- awkward / inappropriate sense of humor - basic knowledge of Photoshop - ichat If this sounds like something you'd be interested in, please check out what we have so far and send an email if you're still serious:

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: no pay

He's funny right? And he tells it like it is. He can't pay us one cent. But that's ok, because he's telling it like it is. Besides, how many times do we get to truly be inappropriate. Now, I know from the many deleted comments here there are indeed many people who don't mind being inappropriate with their writing. I'm willing to bet however, that when the veil of anonymity is lifted, they wish to receive payment for their work. Here's a guy who is looking to load a website with funny bits and photoshopped images and he's hoping to do so for free. Now, I saw said blog, and granted, the man is only looking for small bits of writing so there's not a lot of hard labor involved. Also? It's not very good, but the way I see it he's getting what he pays for. And why are we looking for awkward bloggers? Are we saying confident bloggers need not apply? Are we looking for the worst writers ever? Oh I get it, confident writers want something for their work. Other than the privilege of living vicariously through someone else, I mean. Here's what I don't get about ads like this. They lay it all out for you and tell you everything they want from you. You have to have some skills and basic knowledge, right? But other than a break from the 9 to 5 (And really how does that happen? I mean if you're not being paid by him, you're still working right?) what does writing for this blog offer you? What are the perks? At least pretend to offer exposure or "credit", for goodness sakes. Nothing makes me feel better about giving up the goods than false promises of glory. Inappropriate, indeed.

7 Important Lessons Freelance Writers Can Learn from Working in Fast Food

Deborah Ng — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:47:17 +0000

by Deborah Ng We joke a lot about careers in the fast food industry, but the truth is many freelance writers worked in fast food at some point in their lives. While it may not be the most glamorous job in the world, many important lessions can be learned while flipping burgers or rocking a cash register. Don't believe me? Check it out:

1. If you have time to lean you have time to clean

I can't tell you how many times I heard this, yeah I'm a leaner. Here's the thing, if you find yourself with some down time, there's still something to do. Just because you're in between jobs doesn't mean you have to sit around waiting for the phone to ring. Look for work, research rates, go over your accounts, do some cold calling, read up on news pertaining to your niche...if there's nothing at all to do during regular business hours, you're doing it wrong.

2. Would you like fries with that?

Suggestive selling is annoying but there's no denying it works. When a client hires you for a job, think about what might be missing. For instance, if he's launching a new business and needs a brochure and letter of introduction, he might also need copy for his website or a press release.

3. The customer is always right

Every time I say this here certain members of this community give me a dressing down. Agree or disagree, you're still nothing without your clients. If you don't think a certain idea will work, feel free to respectfully suggest an alternative. Storming off in a huff because your client isn't going with your suggestions won't help your bank account any. Moreover, by burning bridges with your clients you won't land recommendations or referrals.

4. Smile when you say that

We all have difficult clients, they're an unfortunate part of the job. They can be nitpicky, rude and flat out wrong, but you know what? They pay the bills. Always keep in mind one gets more flies with honey than vinegar. Smile, offer to correct the problem and move on.

5. Your burger is nothing without the fixins'

In all fast food restaurants, someone is always behind the scenes chopping tomatoes, filling the condiment containers and toasting the buns. There's a reason for this. Fast food wouldn't be fast food if each cook had to stop, chop a tomato, get pickle slices out of a jar and toast his own rolls. As a freelance writer, it's to your benefit to prep before you begin your work as well. Research your client, learn as much about his business as you can so you can better tailor your project to his needs. Research topics and niches, interview experts and take copious notes. Now, you can write without interrupting the flow. When you pause every five minutes to Google your topic, you lose something in the process.

6. Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us

Many freelance writers have set fees for set projects. If a client strays from the norm and makes special requests they might get a little flustered. That's not part of the package! Now you have to re-figure your pay rates and time. So what? Cookie cutter freelancers don't do well. Having the ability to meet each client's needs, no matter how special, will set you apart from the rest.

7. Consider the Extra Value Meal

Freelance writers who are just starting out might have lower rates than a veteran freelancer, and that's ok. Even the vets will lower their prices for a prestigious gig. We all do it, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. If you feel you need to reasonably lower your rates to land a really great client, use your best judgment. If you do a great job the client might be receptive to paying a higher rate in the future and even refer you to other prestigious clients. You might also want to go for the combination platter and offer several options for one low price. This is a great way to bring in business, especially for writers just starting out. What are some of the lessons you learned while working in fast food?

Freelance Writing Jobs: Evolution of a Blog

Deborah Ng — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:16:54 +0000

by Deborah Ng Welcome to the new Freelance Writing Jobs network of blogs. This is a major step and a major gamble, but I believe it's a natural progression for this blog. With so many bloggers, and jobs and tips, it was getting a little confusing and convoluted. And in case you haven't been with us since the beginning, we've come a long way, baby! Check it out!

June 2005

Originally Freelance Writing Jobs was part of Writer's Row, an awesome group of content writers who found ourselves out of work and banded together to form a content site. I started FWJ as a way to share jobs with other Moms. This was in 2005 and I can't find a screenshot of the original web page, but here's a look at the first blog design - when FWJ was a blogspot blog.

January 2006

Several months later, a fellow work at home Mom named Wendy took pity on my design and created a new look for FWJ. I was still with Writer's Row and this was still a .blogspot blog:

December 06

Why look who it is! It's the pajama lady! Diane Penna re-designed FWJ to target Work at Home Moms. It wasn't long before I started to realize, FWJ was more than just a mommy blog.

October 2007

FWJ made two great big leaps for the better. We moved from Blogger to WordPress and moved from a Writer's Row subdomain to the Freelance Writing Gigs domain. Many people ask why I didn't choose http://freelancewritingjobs.com - that domain was taken and I couldn't afford to buy it. The summer of 2007 also welcomed Jodee aboard part time to help out with the leads.

May 2008

Three years later, my little work at home mom blog was a huge success. Many of my readers were male, however, and some weren't even parents. My "regulars" became a mix men, women, work at homes, full timers and part time freelancers and college students looking to make ends meet. Harry from Men with Pens and his team of techies created the professional, coffee shop look you see today.

November 2009 - FWJ is now a network

Our FWJ Idol contest brought us two new writers, Terreece Clark and James Chartrand. The blog started getting crowded. It became hard to mange and visitors had a hard time finding leads through all the other good stuff. It was time to go network! In addition to a separate blog for leads, and blogs by Jodee, James and Terreece, we also moved over Network Blogging Tips, welcoming Jennifer Chait and David Peralty. And yes, we're considering a forum. Hope the investment was worth it and you like what we're doing here. Tell us your thoughts in the comments.

Anne Wayman Puts Down Her Golden Pencil

Deborah Ng — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:54:11 +0000

by Deborah Ng If you're a member of the freelance writing community, you're sure to know of Anne Wayman. I've been following her for years, since she was About.com's Guide to Freelance Writing. After Anne left About.com I became an avid reader of her b5Media blog, The Golden Pencil. Anne also listed job leads at her website, About Freelance Writing, and we both of us checked out each other's leads on a regular basis. Anne has put down the Golden Pencil and will now be blogging at About Freelance Writing. I do hope you'll stop by and offer her your support. Yesterday, Anne asked me if I ever considered us competition and I never did. We have always been supportive of each other's endeavors and encouraged traffic between our blogs. To me there are no competitors in blogging, only colleagues. We share ideas and discuss topics of interest to our community. Fortunately, she has a loyal community at About Freelance Writing and won't be starting from scratch. I look forward to seeing where this new direction takes her!

Craigslist Ad of the Day: The No ByLine, No Pay... No Dice Ad

Deborah Ng — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:23:08 +0000

by Deborah Ng I'm not sure where to begin here. The mind boggles.

Big Magazine Looking for Male Weekly Writers (Midtown)

Reply to: Date: 2008-11-05, 8:58AM EST

An ongoing magazine project seeks writers of all ages to keep short seven-day diaries of their relationship lives. We love women, so please feel free to respond, but we're particularly looking for men in their 30s, 40s and 50s to tell us what they're really thinking about their love lives. It's a great chance to get a clip. Normal-to-boring lives are great, as are active ones. Your name will not appear. We'll happily send you the information after you respond with your age, orientation, employment and neighborhood. Thanks!

We'll happily send you the information after you respond with your age, orientation, employment and neighborhood. Thanks!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: no pay

So. This is a job for a BIG magazine. A BIG one, people. It's so big, you don't get a byline or pay. It's a great way to get a clip though, because editors will surely delight in seeing your non-bylined, non-paying diary. Really, what says "hire me" to a potential client than a scribbled journal of a man's "normal to boring life" with no name attached to it? Clip this, buddy.

How to Make Twitter Work for You

Deborah Ng — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:22:17 +0000

by Deborah Ng Unless you've been living in a cave for the past year or so, you probably already know I'm a self-professed Twitter addict. I love Twitter. I Tweet as soon as I wake in the morning, throughout the day, and just before I go to bed. In fact, I check Twitter almost as much as I check my email and stats. Am I obsessed? Not really, it's my job to use Twitter. Besides, Twitter has done amazing things for my blogs.

Twitter Feed

I've been using Twitter Feed for my blogs. What I like about it is how posts are automatically tweeted out everyday, even if I didn't do it manually, and even if I didn't write the post myself. Anything on my RSS Feed is sent out over my Twitter Feed. I hesitated for some time before using Twitter feed because I was worried about the spam factor, so far no one complained. Moreover, traffic from twitter to FWJ is way up.

Network

My favorite reason to use Twitter is to network. I started out with one follower and now have about 1200. I met new people, did some business, swapped ideas and stories, and received breaking news. Because Twitter is 140 characters or less, I'm not committed to some deep conversation.

Make Friends

One thing that surprised me about Twitter is all of friends I've made. When I was at BlogWorld Expo in September, I met folks I only knew through Twitter and it was an amazing experience. It was good for my job with BlogTalkRadio as I signed up new users, it was good for FWJ as this comunity has new members via Twitter and it was good for me because I met so many awesome individuals.

Twitter isn't just another social networking site

I hesitated before signing up for Twitter because I didn't want to get sucked into yet another social networking site. Twitter is different though. I can't explain it, but the people are friendly and it's not all about business. Yesterday we live tweeted an election and it was amazing how close we grew watching history in the making. In fact, if I had to give up every social networking site but one, I'd keep Twitter. Tell us how you make it work for you...and don't forget to follow me @debng!

Freelance Writing Jobs: We're More than Just Leads

Deborah Ng — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:32:18 +0000

by Deborah Ng Since launching this new Freelance Writing Jobs network the other day, I received a flurry of emails. Most of them are from people who can't find the leads, or feel the leads need to be at the top of the home page in huge, flashing letters making them easy to find. It appears an explanation is in order.

Where to Find the Jobs Leads

Back in the day (last week) one could visit FWJ and find leads and blog posts on the main home page. Now upon coming to our home page, our readers come to a paragraph of explanation:

Welcome to the Freelance Writing Jobs network of blogs. Your favorite bloggers are still here, we all have our own blogs now instead of playing in the same crowded sandbox. Below you'll find a list of all of our blogs, along with the three most recent posts. Please adjust your bookmarks and feeds to reflect all of the blogs in the FWJ Network.

Still, I'm receiving email after email asking where to find the leads. After explaining that everything is on the main page many responded back that they didn't even read the main page, they just looked for their lists of leads and panicked. This is slightly upsetting because it tells me many of our visitors don't really care to read our blog posts beyond the job leads. By building this network I was hoping to better showcase the different bloggers and their topics. I do hope those who just come for the leads will look around and bookmark or subscribe to the other blogs. Before switching over to this format, readers read all posts and participated in conversations for nearly every post. I hope this will be the norm on our individual blogs as well. Links to all blogs are available at the top of each page, in the sidebar, on the homepage and on the bottom of each post.

Why the Leads are At the Bottom of the Home Page

The reason leads are at the bottom of the home page is that it's my hope that while your eye is traveling down the page, it will stop at one of our other blogs and you will be inclined to visit.

Please Visit or Subscribe to the Other Blogs in the Freelance Writing Jobs Network

Article Writing by Terreece Clarke
Business Tips for Writers by James Chartrand
Freelance Writing Tips and Other Good Stuff by Deborah Ng
Freelance Writing Job Hunt Tips by Jodee Redmond
Network Blogging Tips by Deborah Ng, Jennifer Chait and David Peralty

We're more than just leads. Please stop by for a visit and join our communities!

Wednesday Creativity Break: Caption This

Deborah Ng — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:22:55 +0000

by Deborah Ng [caption id="attachment_53" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Caption This!"][/caption]

Holiday Gifts for Writers and Bloggers: External Hard Drives and Flash Drives

Deborah Ng — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:09:33 +0000

[caption id="attachment_57" align="alignright" width="220" caption="Flash drives make great stocking stuffers for the writer or blogger in your life."][/caption] by Deborah Ng When it comes to gifts, I like to be made to feel special. Ask Mr. Ng, a paper shredder under the Christmas tree doesn't exactly fill me with warmth and holiday spirit. I do understand the need for practicality, however. Which is why I recommend buying the writer or blogger in your life some flash drives or an external hard drive as a stocking stuffer. I wouldn't give these as "the big gift", if you know what I mean, but it's a good wingman. I know it's not so glamorous, but believe you me memory space fills up fast. Nothing slows down a laptop more than lots of downloaded....stuff. Images, silly programs you never use and ebooks all take up space. A year later you're working on a slow machine and wondering why you have to replace your computers so often. The writer or blogger in your life will appreciate your thoughtfulness. No really. And you're more likely to get a flash drive than, say, an iPhone which I've been hinting for forever even though Mr. N keeps saying, "You already have a cellphone. Never mind that it's 10 years old and you can't do anything else with it but dial. It works." Yes. This is what I'm up against. But anyway...

Flash Drives

Flash drives, as pictured above, make fantastic and inexpensive stocking stuffers. You can get decent ones for $20 to $50 and they hold a lot more stuff than you think. What I especially like about flash drives are their portability. They fit in purses and pockets so if you're traveling they travel with you. They also store easily in desks or file cabinets. Memory size varies, they can hold from 1 to 16 GBs of stuff and they're so inexpensive you can buy as needed. Flash drives plug easily into your USB port and don't get in the way.

External Hard Drives

[caption id="attachment_58" align="alignleft" width="180" caption="This external hard drive may be small but it has lots of space."][/caption] I have an external hard drive plugged in to my laptop at all times when I'm at home for the same reason I recommend flash drives. I save everything to the external or portable drive and my laptop remains uncluttered. My weapon of choice is a Western Digital Passport Essential and it retails for a little under $100 (though I've seen it for $169). Really, a small price to pay when you consider your prolonging the life expectancy of your laptop or notebook. This particular model is very lightweight and travels well. It's compact enough to fit in my hand and doesn't take up much desk space. It has a small cord which easily plugs into your USB port and holds about 250 GBs. Trust me, anyone who works online all day will appreciate seeing this puppy nestled among the tinsel and fake snow. As the weeks go by, I'll throw out more suggestions for holiday gifts for writers and bloggers. Hope some of these ideas work for you!

Some Early November Weekend Link Love

Deborah Ng — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 13:28:30 +0000

Happy weekend. The mail is coming in fast and furious. Some of you hate the new FWJ, some of you are on the fence, and many are happy with the new direction. I hope those of you who aren't so sure are willing to give it some time. I remember this past summer when we changed from the "Pajama Lady" logo and format to the current coffee shop feel we have now, we got loads of complaints. Hopefully once the shock wears off, you'll love what I did as much as I do. I do realize the front page navigation needs a little work, so if you can bear with me for another little while until I can afford to make more changes, I'd be grateful. I had a big list of link love written last night, with paragraphs describing each. It only needed tweaking before being presented to you this morning. Instead of an easy morning with my link love post already complete, I woke to find the white screen of death. After a bit of futzing around and a system restore, I got my laptop back but everything in draft was lost. So, you may not get all the wonderfully descriptive paragraphs I offered yesterday. I just don't have it in me this morning. Here's what I'm reading this morning:

How Much Time Should You Spend Working Each Day at Freelance Switch
The Freelance Parents are so in a fight with the Men with Pens - which I would link to but they're in maintenance mode this weekend. Copycats.
Top 10 Gift Ideas for Writers at All Freelance Writing
Article Writing Strategies Anyone Can Use at Fab Freelance Writing
50 Ways to Screw Up Content at Big Red Notebook
Using Google Tools to Rank Your Blog in Search Engines at Blog Herald
Ridding Yourself of Writers Block at Blogging Tips
Bad Times Ahead for Freelance Writers? At Bob Bly
How to Change the World Using Social Media at Copy Blogger
Big Mistake: Hosting Your Business Blog on a Hosted Service at Branding David
Feeling Overwhelmed? Maybe You Should Think About Outsourcing at Freelance Folder
The Downside of Huge Traffic at JohnChow.com
Business and Aversion to New Media at Performancing
How to Improve Your Blog When You Don't Have Computer Access at ProBlogger
When is Broadcasting OK on Twitter at TwiTip
How I Broke the Chains of Corporate Slavery, Gave Myself a Raise and Cut My Stress at Rock Your Day.
How to Achieve Your Writing Goals Everyday at Writer's Technology Companion

Finally, don't miss The Writing Journey's series on starting a freelance business. Rock on, Deb

NaNoWriMo? No Thanks!

Deborah Ng — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 14:01:10 +0000

Deborah Ng Oh yes. It's November. All the writing blogs and forums are abuzz with NaNoWriMo talk, which is why I'm steering clear. Yes, I'm a NaNoWriMo grinch. Part of the reason is that I'm not a fiction writer and part of the reason is because I think it's a little overblown.

What is NaNoWriMo?

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and is probably the silliest anagram I've come across in some time. Say it out loud with me, "NaNoWriMo." It doesn't really flow, does it? To make it worse, perfectly fluent writers and bloggers are saying to each other, "Do you NaNoWriMo?" "OMG!!! Yes!!!". It turns brilliant minds into text chatters. The premise behind NaNoWriMo is to be able to write and complete an entire novel in a month. A whole novel, people. Not a chapter, not an outline, but an entire novel featuring plot, characters, dialogue and the whole shebang.

Why am I hating on NaNoWriMo?

So I think at this point it's clear my annoyance at NaNoWriMo goes beyond a silly anagram. Why do I dislike it so much?

Because most writers I know write novels to relax. I don't think there's anything relaxing about having to write an entire novel in 30 days. I know some writers who absolutely stress over their one month deadline and beat themselves up if they don't make their goals.
Because I'm not so sure one can write a good novel in one month. Let's be realistic here, can you really write a good novel in a month? We often talk about employers who cause writer's burnout by asking for unrealistic quotas and deadlines, and then we suggest we can write novels in a month? Good novels? I'm sure some can do it, but I'm willing to bet there's a whole lot of not very good being churned out in November.
Because creativity isn't a page on the calendar. Really, if I feel the urge to write, I'll do it. I don't know about you, but it's not always easy to write on command. Ideas don't always come when we want them to. It's hard enough to plan a blog post around a given title sometimes, I can't see forcing out a novel.
Umm....holidays? Could there BE any worse time to schedule a marathon of writing? Well, maybe December. Who decided November would be a good month to write an entire novel? Why not March? Nothing ever happens in March.

Enough of this silliness. If you want to write, write. You don't need a month or a day or permission to be creative. Take your time and go for quality over quanity. Meanwhile, I'm going to go hide under a rock for the next 22 days.

Holiday Gifts for Writers: The Leather Wrap Journal from Kiki James of London

Deborah Ng — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:05:36 +0000

by Deborah Ng Here's an elegant holiday gift idea for writers. I recently received a Kiki James leather wrap journal as a gift and immediately faced two dilemmas. The first was that it was too beautiful to write in and the second was that I couldn't wait to start writing in it. Not bad dilemmas at all when you consider many gifts people give me go into a closet and are promptly forgotten. As someone who sits in front of a keyboard all day writing what other people tell me to write, it's a real treat to hand write in a journal. Indeed I have a file cabinet filled with notebooks. But journals aren't only for secret "Dear Diary" type thoughts. My journals hold ideas for some ebooks I'm writing, ideas for blog posts, plans for my house and more. When it comes to journaling, it's all in the mind of the beholder. A journal from Kiki James is a gift that, I think, would touch the heart of any writer. The outside is soft, buttery leather or suede and the inside is open to many possibilities. If I had a nit to pick, it's that the pages aren't lined. I'm one of those people who couldn't write a straight line if my life depended on it. The leather journals range in price but they average $30 to $60. I know , a little pricey but this isn't your average journal from Staples or Office Depot. If you're making a gift of a journal I would definitely suggest one like this that is classy, with a new leather smell that hits you as soon as you open the box. Am I gushing? You would be too if someone gave you one of these. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

Why Freelance Writers Need Social Media

Deborah Ng — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:13:24 +0000

by Deborah Ng Social media is the practice of using online tools and resources to share and discuss items of interest. As a freelance writer you may think this isn't your problem, but I'd like to play devil's advocate, if you don't mind. Freelancers need and should embrace social media if they want to be a success.

Social Media Ensures an Online Presence

You may have noticed more businesses are looking to create an online presence. They're hiring bloggers, web content writers, community managers and social media strategists. Some of us predicted this trend years ago. You see, the Internet is too big to ignore. Businesses of all sizes are learning they have to have a web presence to succeed. They can do this using social media. You will also need to learn social media if you want to work for one of these businesses, or noticed by them.

Network with Movers and Shakers

If you worked at home without the benefit of an Internet connection you reach a limited circle of people. When you create an online presence for yourself, you have the opportunity to network with people from all over, and many of these people are in a position to advance your career. For example, A couple of years ago I heard Darren Rowse was looking for guest bloggers to fill in while he went on vacation. I sent him an email asking if I could write a guest post and he encouraged me to do so. When the post went live, I mingled with Darren's community and gained a many new readers and friends in the process. In the real world, if an editor of a large well-known newspaper was looking for someone to fill in for him on vacation, he certainly wouldn't have chosen an unknown freelancer. Another example is my Twitter presence. In real life I can be a very shy person. I'm not aggressive or in your face when it comes to marketing or promotion. Sure, I did some cold-calling to introduce myself to people who might be in need of my services, but the huge career boost came from cyberspace. In fact, I did one very small thing when I was a candidate for the job I have now as Community Manager for BlogTalkRadio that moved my resume to the top of the pile. I found the CEO on Twitter and followed him. That was enough for him to see that I knew my way around the social media-o-sphere, and also I was willing to do some research and find him to follow. There is no denying you can meet more people, and important people at that, at social media sites.

Learn and Share

Social Media isn't only about meeting people. It's about finding and sharing information. When you post links to Digg or Twitter, you're sharing something cool with other people. Sure, it brings in traffic, but the whole sharing thing is pretty darn cool in and of it's own. It was through social media that I found some valuable resources, links to help me be a better writer, fun distractions and even breaking news. You know what else I love about social media? The biggest names in the bunch are usually the most willing to share and give of themselves. There's no competition, just cool people sharing cool ideas.

How Can a Freelance Writer Use Social Media?

There are many ways freelance writers can benefit from the use of social media. For instance, a few days ago we discussed using Twitter. You can also use FaceBook and MySpace to network with other writers. You can join groups of like-minded people, set up e-book or article launches as events and create and share blog posts through social bookmarking sites like Stumble Upon or del'icious. I think many people hear "social media" and think automatically of Digg. Digg is only one type of social media tool. Explore the different sites and see which ones work best for your needs. Even something so simple as joining a Yahoo or Google group can you too gain traffic or meet people who can help in your careeer. Social networking, talking with others through the various social media and network sites is probably the single most importan thing you can do for your career right now. Even if your focus is print, magazines now have an online presence. Find out where the people you need to know meet and communicate and make yourself part of the community. You'll wonder why you didn't try it earlier!

Craigslist Ad of the Day: The Irresponsible Student

Deborah Ng — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 01:31:35 +0000

by Deb Ng It's bad enough kids are paying others to do their homework for them:

12 Page Paper Due Tuesday (Anywhere)

Reply to: Date: 2008-11-09, 6:10PM EST
12 pages, double spaced, with an outline. Due Tuesday by 10 AM EST.

Location: Anywhere

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: 200

Someone didn't do his homework. He was too busy partying or hanging out or playing PS2 until 3:00 a.m. to write his 12 page paper. When does he realize it's not going to get done? Sunday evening at 6:10 p.m. and when is it due? Tuesday morning. And he's offering $16 a page for his rush job. I ask you, do we expect anyone unethical enough to churn out dude's homework for him by Tuesday morning to turn in an A or even a B paper? Me neither. And he deserves every bit of his F.

Holiday Gifts for Writers and Bloggers: Coffee 2.0 from Joffreys

Deborah Ng — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 12:17:03 +0000

by Deborah Ng Last year Joffrey's launched a Coffee 2.0 social media campaign to attract bloggers. They asked bloggers to sign up and sample their coffee. And what good coffee it is. I especially like that Joffrey's gets the whole coffee/blogging thing. Did I mention the coffee is really good? Joffrey's offers organic coffees, flavored coffees, dark coffees, coffee collections, syrups, flavorings and more. If you're looking to send your favorite blogger a coffee basket, when not send it from the people who actually GET blogging? A holiday sampler featuring a packet each of Mistletoe Mocha, Pumpkin Creme Brulee, and Winter Wonderland will run only $25.00. Not bad for a good cuppa. Don't miss my other suggestions for holiday gifts for writers and bloggers:

Why Community Outreach is Important for Freelance Writers and Bloggers

Deborah Ng — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 14:04:23 +0000

by Deb Ng Community outreach doesn't only mean reaching out to the people who visit this network, it also means reaching out to like-minded communities. If I had to attribute this blog's success to one thing, it would likely be due to community outreach.

What is Community Outreach

Community outreach is exactly what it sounds like. Reaching out, or contacting, the blogs, forums and social networks in your niche and related niches. It's spreading the word about your blog, your products or your writing by introducing it to others or even asking others to write about it.

How Can Reaching Out to Other Communities Help Me?

As freelance writers it's good to know people. Especially people who are in a position to hire or recommend you to people who are in a position to hire. When you become a regular in a community for freelance writers, your will soon become familiar to many. Plus, you can talk about your work in progress, learn about who is hiring, find some cool (ahem) blogs to visit and share tips and commiseration. As bloggers, you'll want to reach out to other communities for the same reasons as mentioned above. Participating in community discussions is a wonderful way to establish yourself as an authority and bandy your name about. Because many blogs and forums allow you to drop a link to your blog in your signature line, you're sure to bring in new readers.

What are Some of the Ways I Can Reach Out to My Communities?

There are many ways you can reach out to different communities.

Visit blogs and leave comments
Visit forums and participate in discussions
Participate in Yahoo or Google group discussions
Set up a Facebook account and join the groups that interest you
Sign up for Twitter and follow the people who interest you

Keep in mind that community shouldn't only mean other freelance writing and blogging groups. For instance, if you're a romance writer, visit the romance writing and reading forums and communities. If green living interests you, check out the environmental groups and blogs, and so on. Yes, social networking and community outreach can be a time suck, but in my opinion it's necessary to succeed. What are some of the ways you reach out to your communties? Image by Robyn Saul via stock.xchng

Who Are You Writing For?

Deborah Ng — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:14:33 +0000

by Deb Ng When you accept an assignment, what's the first thing you do? Depending on the task, one might assume you either begin writing or researching the subject matter. Perhaps you Google the topic or go to the library. You might even call a few experts to interview. Do you research the readership as well? If not, you might consider moving this to the top of your list. It's not enough to simply write an article or blog post. Knowing who you're writing for will help to set the tone and ensure you have the correct focus.

Trust Me, It Matters

Clients should give us all the information we need, but we can't always count on them to do so. They might overlook certain details or not know exactly what we need. For instance, your client might ask for an article on proper nutrition for large dogs. The request is simple enough and you could probably write in general terms. Knowing your client runs a website for St. Bernard breeders will help you to narrow your focus. When writing an article or blog post you might wish to:

Learn your client's demographics - Knowing a website or magazine is geared towards children or adults will make all the difference in the world, as will knowing if you're writing for men or women. Knowing readers' political affiliation, religion and income levels might also help set the tone. You can find these things out by reading blog comments, visiting forums and reading other articles.
Ask about a blog or websites stats - What do people search for? Where are they coming from? Which articles on the blog or website are most popular? This doesn't mean you have to copy past articles, but it does give you a good indication as to why people visit the website.
Research the client, his publication, website or blog - This is a great way to learn more about him and his mission. What is his goal? What is he hoping to accomplish with these writings? Read his bio or the About page on his website, you might find helpful details there as well.

What If I Can't Tell Who I'm Writing For?

None of this advice helps if you have a vague client who doesn't give you much to go on or you can't seem to get any details from his website. Find out who you are writing for. Your client will no doubt appreciate your learning who his readers are and tailoring your story to meet their needs.

How Can You Establish Yourself As An Authority If You Don't Know Who You're Writing For?

Most of us have clients who hire us because we have a better ability to communicate. With that in mind, we can't always trust them to give us all the information we need to write the best articles we can. As writers it's up to us to research every single angle. As authorities in our niches, it's up to us to make sure we're speaking to our audiences. Knowing who our readers are and what they are looking for is one of the most important tasks of the gig. If our clients don't tell us who we're writing for, it's up to us to find out.

Quick Freelance Writing Tip: Prepare Your 2009 Editorial Calendar

Deborah Ng — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:00:16 +0000

I know, I know. It's early November. Still, it's a good time to prepare yourself for the new year. One of the ways you can do this is by setting up your editorial calendar for next year. When you think about it, this is the perfect time. The holidays are coming and you're going to start getting busy. You don't want to find yourself at the first of the year with nothing planned. Here's a video I posted last spring about my editorial calendar. Though this talks about planning my editorial calendar a week in advance, I often plan way ahead of that. I fill in Holiday stuff beginning in October and back to school in July. By planning early I can post early - and I'm ready when the searching begins.

Social Media: Obama Gets It

Deborah Ng — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 01:19:10 +0000

by Deb Ng A hat tip to Wendy Piersall at Sparkplugging for tweeting this story. I promise, this isn't a political post. One thing that impressed me about Barrack Obama is how he realized the importance of a web presence. He and his team embraced social media and used it with positive results. Obama had a presence on Twitter (with 130,000 followers, mind you) and other social networking sites. He knew it wasn't enough to stump to the crowds in person, he had to do reach out to the online community as well. In fact, most of Obama's campaign funding came from online donors, the result of an effective social media campaign. This tells me he's in touch with the real world. I learned today President-Elect Obama signed on two Web 2.0 savvy social media experts for his transition team. It's refreshing to see he continues to get it. Having a web presence will allow Mr. Obama and his team to reach out to even more people. Not just during transition time but for his entire term in office. I understand the President-Elect himself won't be doing all of this community outreach, he'll be very busy after all. Knowing there are people on his team who will be reaching out to the online community makes me feel a little more secure. Not in a "national security" kind of way, but instead it shows me the future President and his team are in touch enough to know what is needed to succeed and communicate with the American public. Having a web presence will allow the team to see what people are saying and what areas need fixing. The team can discuss issues and causes, answer questions and soothe fears - all in real time. It's clear Mr. Obama is setting the bar for future political campaigns and this should be applauded. It's not enough to be in touch part of the country, Obama found a way to reach us all. Your turn: What are some of the ways you feel a President or person in office can use effectively use social media?

Holiday Gift Guide: Jewelry for Writers and Bloggers

Deborah Ng — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 13:15:17 +0000

I've been accused of being too practical when choosing holiday gifts for writers and bloggers. Today, I'd like to enter the world of frivolity with some jewelry suggestions for writers.

Typewriter Key Bracelet

[caption id="attachment_117" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="typewriter key bracelet"][/caption] Tell me you won't be touched when a thoughtful person in your life buys you this typewriter key bracelet from eco.artware.com. It retails for $110 and we especially like that it's made from the real thing, and recycling always gets thumbs up from the FWJ crew.

Typewriter Key Cufflinks

[caption id="attachment_118" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Typewriter key cufflinks"][/caption] eco-artware.com also has something for our male readers. Typewriter key cufflinks. These retail for $43 for the pair but are on sale right now for $30.

Marbelized Book Jewelry

[caption id="attachment_119" align="alignnone" width="197" caption="Marbelized book earrings, tie tack and lapel pin."][/caption] Isn't this gorgeous? It looks like a marbelized journal. These come from Ashland Hardwood Gallery and are available as earrings, tie tack and lapel pin. They retail for $15 each.

Sterling Silver Computer Mouse Charm

[caption id="attachment_120" align="alignnone" width="250" caption="Sterling Silver Computer Mouse Charm"][/caption] This sterling silver computer mouse charm is adorable and will make a sweet stocking stuffer. You can buy it at Oodle.com and it retails for about $15.00. Please see more holiday gifts for writers:

What My Neighbor's Teen Can Teach You About Customer Service

Deborah Ng — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:33:15 +0000

by Deb Ng My husband and I have a splurge we feel is justified. We pay local landscapers to mow own lawn. We're both busy with our careers and our son and don't want to lose precious down time spending an hour on the lawn tractor each weekend (not that we have one of those.). We recently employed a new landscaper because we felt he offered a good price and he came recommended. I have to admit, his lawn crew does an awesome job, but the customer service sucks. Every time I call, the landscaper's wife (who runs the business end) tells me she'll call back. Sometimes it happens within hours, mostly it happens within days. I called her on Monday asked her to quote on our annual leaf cleanup. We have many very mature trees and our acreage is covered. We generally take care of this ourselves but this year we just don't want to spare our time with our son. So I called 9:00 Monday morning. As of this morning I've yet to receive that return call. It doesn't matter anyway. Yesterday I was talking to the school bus driver who is also a neighbor. I told her about my dissatisfaction with the lawn service and she said I was welcome to call her teen who landscapes on the weekend. So I did. He was at my door 45 minutes later with a written quote complete with guarantee. He took a walk around my whole property and came back and asked questions about the border, the dog, and other things. None of the high priced landscapers in this area ever took the time to ask me these questions. When my neighbor's son left about 30 minutes later, he had the promise of a job for the weekend and if that goes well he will also be mowing our lawn and tending to periodic yard cleanup and other odd jobs. I was so impressed with this young man and his customer service, I would have hired him even if his price was higher than the landscaper. What did he teach me about customer service?

The early bird gets the worm: My landscaper might think I have time to wait for a quote because she's my regular lawn person. She might also feel that she has such a good business it doesn't matter to her if I'm kept waiting. It matters to me. I don't expect immediate call returns, but within the same day is a good idea.
Be thorough: I always employed landcapers who had a large clientele. No one ever walked my property to discuss things like borders, pets, neighbors pets, the tree that's falling down out back and more. They showed up, did their work and went home. Clients like to know you care. Take some time and make them feel special
Respond ASAP: This 19 year old came by right away with his quote. He even had a guarantee. I'm still waiting to receive a call back from my landcaper. Why do I have to call several times before getting an answer when I'm the one paying?
If you make a good impression you can charge a higher price: As I mentioned above, I would have paid this teen more money than he asked for only because I was so impressed with his customer service and professionalism. You know what? If he does a good job he's getting a tip.
If your clients aren't happy they'll go elsewhere: I'm so disappointed in my landscaper's poor customer service I'm considering hiring this teen to mow my lawn each week come spring. In one 30 minute visit he showed himself to be more reliable and professional than my landscaper has in six months.

For writers, writing is only part of our job. Customer service counts. The people who pay us want us to respond to calls and emails in a timely manner. They want us to be good communicators and give a project our all. In this day and age, it's not enough to just show up for work. If our clients are unhappy they can, and will, take their business elsewhere.

A Freelance Writing Jobs Reminder: You Own Your Samples

Deborah Ng — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:03:50 +0000

One of the regulars sent me this email today.

I came across a problem this morning. You may want to post a warning especially for new writers. The ad you have for pet writers is of concern. An automated response is returned with details which seem innocuous enough: but after the signature is the following: P.S. please do not copy and paste from internet. We will be checking all samples with copyscape. We will own the copyright of your sample articles even if you don't get hired. They claim the copyright of any sample whether hired or not! I can forward the entire email if you'd like.

Not too cool. Your samples are yours, especially if you're not being paid for it. Don't sign away all rights to your work unless you're being adequately compensated. This person will be profiting from your work why shouldn't you? This kind of a scam makes me so angry. Can you imagine the nerve of this person to expect someone to write up samples especially for him, make accusations of plagiarism before you even start the job, tell you you're not hired and take all the rights to your samples to boot? Here's the thing. A client should be able to tell by your existing samples whether or not you're a good fit. If he wants you to write something specifically for him, he should pay you. If he wants any or all rights, he must pay you. If no rights were discussed or signed away, it should be assumed you still have ownership. Never give away all the rights to your work. If you're going to let someone have all rights, you should receive adequate compensation. Lordy.

CopyScape: How to Insult Your Writers Before they Even Begin

Deborah Ng — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:12:39 +0000

I'm all about trust. I think it's important for clients and freelancers to establish trust off the bat. If an employer's first communication to me mentions he's worried I might plagiarize, there's no trust and I'm turned off from working at that job. I hate seeing Copyscape in job ads. Don't get me wrong. I don't condone cut and paste jobs. I know employers use CopyScape to nip this in the bud, and I don't have a problem with that. My problem is when a client announces in a job ad that he'll be using CopyScape. This is so insulting. If you're going to use it, use it. You don't need to tell your freelancers you don't trust them - before they're even hired. I know we need to take measures to prevent content theft and protect our websites, but to establish mistrust from the very beginning sets the tone immediately. It breeds suspicion and low morale and puts freelancers on edge. I know many employers are going to use CopyScape. If so, can you please do so quietly? We freelancers don't want to know you have no faith in our ability to write something original.

Lazy Link Love for a Rainy November Weekend

Deborah Ng — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:47:03 +0000

It's a dreary day in my neck of the woods. It's funny, we didn't get any rain over the summer but it's like mother nature is making up for it this autumn. Problem is, I'm not growing veggies in autumn. Still, we're warm and dry, there's a pot of coffee on and we're having a nice lazy day. In other words, it's a good time to enjoy a cup of coffee and check out the feeds. Here's what I'm reading this weekend:

Take our poll at Network Blogging Tips. When you subscribe to a blog's newsletter, do you actually read it? Or do you put it aside and forget about it? Let us know!
5 Tips to Make the Switch to Copywriting at Fab Freelance Writing.
My friend Thord Daniel Hendengren over at the Blog Herald held a roundtable featuring head honchos from a few popular networks. Wondering about the state of the network blogosphere? Check it out.
Another friend, Jim Turner at Bloggers for Hire has a very informative post about how bloggers should have the ability to interview. I agree. I don't feature enough interviews here, but when I do they're always well received.
Chris Garrett gives up some food for though with Overcoming Your Own Constraints at ChrisG.
Stop by Freelance Switch where they talk about Pricing Freelance Work.
Darren Rowse at Problogger answers this question: Are RSS Subscribers Worthwhile if They Don't Visit Your Blog?

Have a Great Sunday! Don't forget, if you want to be a part of my annual end of the year link love post send your blog's details to WeGetLetters@gmail.com Deb

10 Necessary Freelance Writing Multi-Tasks

Deborah Ng — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:56:46 +0000

I write a lot of posts on things freelance writers need to do besides writing. When you think about it, we wear many different hats. Writing is a small part of what we have to do on a regular basis if we want to be successful at our jobs. Here are some of the jobs we need to do well if we hope to make it as a

1. Job Hunt

Freelance writers have to take some time out each day or several times a week to hunt for new opportunities. You might do this by querying magazines or reading the online job ads. In this feast or famine world, it's a good idea to check the job boards so as not to have slow spots during the month.

2. Customer Service

If looking for work is one of the most important parts of a freelance writer's job, customer service runs a close second. It's important our clients are happy with our work. This means good communication with the client, responding to emails and phone calls in a timely manner and following up after each gig.

3. Research

Even if you're well versed on a topic, you'll still need to research. This might mean Googling some info or visiting the library for a more in-depth read. You might want to watch a documentary or interview experts. Research is probably the most time consuming part of the writing process.

4. Editing

Even if you'll have others proofreading your work, you should always take some time to self-edit. Going over your work to remove obvious typos and grammatical errors will put you in your client's good graces and make her more appreciative of your efforts.

5. Bookkeeping

You have to keep the books as a freelance writer. You'll need to keep track of all your projects, how much money you received from each client, and which invoices are outstanding.

6. Office Management

In addition to bookkeeping, you'll need to manage all your contracts and important documents. You will need to be able to analyze your business to make sure you're charging enough for your work and keep track of all your projects and clients.

7. Marketing

Cold calling, letters of introduction, special blogs and websites, and advertisements you may take out in order to get work are all a part of marketing yourself as a writer in order to gain new clients.

8. Writing

Probably the most obvious part of our job. I don't think I really need to talk about this part.

9. Networking

I've said it a million times before, networking, especially social networking, helped this blog to become a success. I spent hours on forums, social networking sites, conferences, and more making friends and joining communities and it worked. I've joined clubs and organization in the real world to meet people in hopes of promoting my writing services and it helped me to land a couple of regular offline clients. If you want to land more clients and make a name for yourself, networking is a must.

10. Sales

Sales and marketing go hand in hand. This is the part of my job I like the least as I'm not a salesperson. I dislike cold-calling and sending letters of introduction, but I did it and it helped. Whenever you apply for a job you're selling yourself. Are you a multi-tasker? What are some of the other jobs we do as freelance writers?

Craigslist Ad of the Day: The "I Can't Write But You Can" Ad

Deborah Ng — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 00:31:24 +0000

by Deb Ng Today's Craigslister wants to write a book. He has a problem though:

A new writer... (forest hills) Reply to: Date: 2008-11-18, 11:20AM EST Now heres the deal... Ive started writing a few months ago and ive written a few blogs here and there and ive been told that my writing style is "new". Im a straight out guy that will write just about anything. Ive been thinking of writing a book or a novel for a few weeks and im really new to the whole literary field. Im not new at anything else trust me. Im a designer working with the most down to earth people ever. If your a writer or have experience in this whole fancy industry email me back up. Im looking for a partner with this and I guess whatever happens with the book, its 50-50. Im not looking to make history or be a one-hit wonder. Im an interesting person and EVERYBODY should know it. * Location: forest hills * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests * Compensation: ..

We have a few problems. Contractions. Apostrophes...so I'm thinking he doesn't want a writing partner as much as he wants someone to do the whole thing for him. I don't know how new his writing style is though. I mean, my six year old sort of has the same style, if you know what I mean. I guees when it really comes down to it though, the important thing is that he's an interesting, down to earth, designer and everyone should know it. Image via Wikimedia Commons

Holiday Gifts for Writers and Bloggers: Writer's Remedy

Deborah Ng — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 01:12:24 +0000

by Deb Ng Here's a fun way to battle writer's block: Writers Remedy is a bunch of magnetic words in a jar. Simply take out some words, pop 'em up on the fridge and mix and match until you come up with some ideas. There are 300 words in the jar, enough to nudge you back to the task at hand. The jar retails for about $15 at the Magnetic Poetry website.

Win a Dunkin Donuts Coffee Gift Basket

Deborah Ng — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:35:02 +0000

Update: Congratulations to Julie F. who won the coffee basket. Julie I will be in touch for your address. If there's anything most writers agree on, it's that coffee is one of our most important tools. It's gets us through the day, and many times, through the night. Dunkin Donuts understands this and has generously offered a basket of coffee to give away to one lucky FWJ reader. The basket contains four pound bags of various flavored Dunkin Donuts coffees and a mug to go along with, valued at $50.

So how does one win a Dunkin Donuts Coffee Gift Basket?

We're going to go on a little scavenger hunt. Put your answers in the comments below for a chance at the random drawing. Don't worry it's easy. And don't copy from your neighbor because the questions are going to be changed around from time to time without warning. So here are your scavenger hunt questions. Don't worry, everything is on the top page of each blog so it shouldn't take long for you to find the answers. 1. Go to the Dunkin Donuts website and tell us which flavors you'd choose for your own gift basket. 2. Visit Network Blogging Tips and tell everyone how I feel about Blog Networks. 3 Pop in to Freelance Writing Job Hunting Tips and tell us what you should look for instead of a freelance writing job.. 4. Swing by our Business Tips for Writers and tell us what is the ultimate killer when it comes to asking for a raise. 5.Go to Article Writing Tips and tell us one thing you can learn from your feed reader. This contest ends Sunday, November 23rd at midnight. Good luck!

Interviewing Experts: How Do You Know What to Ask?

Deborah Ng — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:08:05 +0000

by Deborah Ng Today I received an interesting comment to my post 10 Freelance Writing Multitasks. Nina asked:

Thanks for the list, those are excellent tips. But my question is, when you are interviewing an expert, how do you know what questions to ask? Do you have any pointers on asking the right questions?

That's a very good question, with some very good answers. Many writers hesitate to interview experts or well-known people because they think they won't know what to ask. If you know your subject well, the questions will be plentiful and you won't run out of things to talk about.

Who is the expert and why is she there?

First and foremost, there had to be a reason you asked this person for an interview, right? You felt she had something to offer your project. You wouldn't have called her if you didn't think she could answer your questions and those of your readers. List all of your reasons for inviting the expert for the interview and create questions based on your list.

Do your homework

Even if your interview subject is a famous name, it's still a good idea to do your homework. If he wrote a book , read it. If he has a website or blog, take it all in. Give him a Google and learn about charitable projects, childhood stories, amusing anecdotes, current projects and more. Did someone write a book about this person? What is he famous for? Research this person and think about why he would be of interest to your readers.

What would your readers want to know?

If you're interviewing this person for a blog or website, let your readers know in advance and ask them if they have any questions. You'd be surprised at what they will come up with - all good questions too! Think about the questions your readers most often ask of you. Why would this expert be of interest to them?

Questions based on answers

You'll also think of questions as the interview is in progress. Your interview subject will probably offer answers that will require more questions. Keep a pad handy so you can quickly jot down any new questions that come along. Many people pass up interviews with some pretty cool people because they don't think they know what to ask. I've come to learn thinking of questions is a lot easier than we think. The problem is more one of confidence. If we know this person is a good fit for our project and we do enough research, our problem won't be having enough questions to ask, it will more likely be finding enough time to ask all of our questions.

Are Freelance Writers and Bloggers Boring?

Deborah Ng — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 11:18:01 +0000

Yesterday I contacted a sponsor for my Cookerati blog (Dunkin' Donuts) to see if they would be interested in giving away a gift basket here. I thought it would be a nice change from the usual fare and an awesome gift for the winner. It occurred to me that I could do a lot more of these giveaways if I had enough sponsors and prizes. The thing is, whenever I put out word that I'm doing a gift guide or that I would like sponsors for giveaways, I get a whole bunch of self help books and laptop supplies. Now, there's nothing wrong with these, but every blogging and writing blog in cyberspace are giving away ProBlogger books (been there, done that) and surge protectors. I was looking for something a little less....boring. So I put out word that I was looking for fun gifts for writers and received an impressive response. The problem is, my definition of fun, and some publicists' definition of fun are two totally different animals. I had offers of extension cords, a heart rate monitor, a light for the inside of one's toilet so the men in your lives don't miss at night, and epoxy glue. Yes, epoxy glue. To give away to writers and bloggers.

I ask you...

Are these fun gifts for writers or bloggers? I've also been looking around at some of the holiday gift guides going up at blogs and websites about this time and they're mostly all books and software. Again, there is nothing wrong with this, but where's the frivolity? Are writers all so serious we're only books and computers? Speaking as the girl who received a paper shredder as the "big gift" one year, I can tell you we don't only want books and power cords in our stockings this year.

We can have fun! Really!

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I like to tell a joke or two. If it's really funny I'll even let out a big old belly laugh. And on my downtime I've even been known to let my hair down and enjoy the company of others...outside of the house!! I know! I understand we need to be practical. I even represent the practical side in my own gift guides and giveaways, but we're not all books and computer programs. We're actually pretty darn human. I don't get my husband, the accountant, calculators and slide rules for the holidays. Nor do I give my sister the teacher apples and attendance books. Show a little imagination when buying for the writer in your life. Check out some vintage typewriter key bracelets or baskets of bath products. Send your favorite blogger a bottle of wine or the latest gadget. Trust me, we'll appreciate the distraction.

Holiday Gifts for Writers: Power Squid and Cricket Laptop Stand

Deborah Ng — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:15:33 +0000

Wait. Put down the pitchforks. I know I said just a post ago that writers don't want boring gifts, and I stand by that. Still, most of us do get a balance of practical vs frivolous as gifts during our respective holidays and birthdays. With that in mind, I'd like to appeal to the gift giver's practical side today. Beside, I think I've thrown in a pretty good mix here. Before I toss out today's offerings, I'd like to stress these are not meant to give as "THE" gift. I might even go as far as to suggest that if you will be presenting one of these to a someone special you tape something sparkly or gadgety to it as well. Trust me, on this, I know. Power Squid - I wasn't sure how I would feel about the power squid. At first glance it's a glorified multi-armed extension cord. It goes way beyond that though. If you're one of those people who have a tangled mess of wires hidden behind your desk screaming out "fire hazard" you'll eventually thank me for this recommendation. I appreciate that the plug has a swiveled head so I don't have to push out the bookcase to plug it in. A small thing, but a big thing nonetheless. The power squid is also infinitely more attractive than your run of the mill surge protector/power strip and takes up a lot less space. In addition to having five cords to plug your essentials into, the power squid offers two more bonus sockets on the body of the Calamari itself. They glow in the dark too, so you don't have to turn on a light to plug something in. If you're in the market for a new surge protector or want to replace the one you have, definitely go Power Squid. You won't be disappointed. Cricket Laptop Stand - The Cricket Laptop stand is a worthy stocking stuffer. In fact, it's small enough to fit in a purse, briefcase, or yes, giant Christmas sock. It even has a fancy, be-drawstringed bag to carry it around with. Anyone who works with a laptop on a regular basis will appreciate finding this puppy nestled in the fake cotton surrounding your Christmas tree skirt. The Cricket Laptop Stand elevates your notebook to a more comfortable height. Since it's fully adjustable, the height depends on your comfort, not someone else's. Plus, with your machine raised up off the table, it increases the airflow making you less likely to overheat. Now that I have one I use it often. I treally doesn't look like much, but once you use it once, you'll most likely use it again and again. Check out some of our other recommendations for holiday gifts for writers and bloggers:

Is Blogging Losing the Vibe?

Deborah Ng — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 11:59:50 +0000

by Deb Ng This is the third such email I received saying basically the same thing. With the author's permission it's reprinted and being used as fodder for discussion:

Dear Deb, I love blogs and blogging because of the community and the sharing. I'm really disappointed lately because the top pro bloggers now all turned into pimps and sales people. They're selling courses, ebooks and the secrets of their success. Instead of blog posts discussing the topics they love, they're turning into sales pitches. I'm being bombarded with popups every time I visit my favorite bloggers. What happened to blogging? Is it all a giant make money online thing now? B.A.

I've noticed this as well. More blog posts are being used as a sales pitch or to hawk an affiliate link. I can see where this is a turn off. Is it losing it's warm and fuzzy vibe? In some cases yes. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm writing my own ebook and I have ads in the sidebars, clearly I'm trying to earn money from my blogs. I do think the whole make money online thing has changed blogging. Just like advertising has changed the way we watch television or sports, advertising and has changed the way we view blogs. Plus, people want to take control of their own destiny. We now have more options. We don't have to enter the work force if we don't want to. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather hawk an ebook than put on the stockings and hop on the subway every day. Perhaps it's not as fuzzy as it used to be but I'm still digging the vibe. What other profession do you know where co-workers and competitors alike help each other out instead of stabbing them in the back? Where else do you find folks who are so generous with their knowledge and information? Where else do you find a community of people willing to share and promote? Yes, blogging is more commercial than it used to be but there's nothing else I'd rather do. What do you think?

5 Things About Freelance Writing Jobs I Wish I Knew When I Was Starting Out

Deborah Ng — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 13:14:22 +0000

by Deborah Ng When I first began freelancing in 2000 I thought I had an edge. I spent a dozen years in publishing, after all. That experience should work to my advantage, right? Well...yes and no. It gave me some good ideas about customer service, what editors look for and more. There were some areas however, in which I was a little green. There are a few things I had to figure out on my own. I'd like to share them with you today.

1. There Are Different Types of Freelance Writing Jobs

I was kind of surprised at all the different types of writing available to freelancers. Where should I set my sites? Print? Web? Business writing? Writing grants? Those new fangled e-books everyone is talking about? Obviously I found my calling, but it was a little confusing for me in the beginning and I had some fits and starts before reaching my comfort zone. This is why I think it's important for all new freelance writers to take some time out before they begin to research every aspect of the business. Not only will they learn some of the ins and outs of the business, but also the types of writing.

2. Everyone's Good at Something

Today it's all about branding and expertise. Most freelancers have to pick something they're good at and use that to their advantage. Thanks to the Internet, there's more competition now than there was when I worked with freelancers in the mid 80's and 90's. To stand out an impressive resume helps. Set yourself up as an expert in your favorite topic and soon the jobs will come to you.

3. Taking Gigs For the Sake of Taking Gigs Leads to Boredom and Burnout

I think one of my biggest mistakes as a freelance writer was taking every gig that came my way. Yes, I gained valuable experience and yes, I was doing some good earning. I was also suffering from burnout. To keep up I woke early and worked late in to the night. I wasn't spending free time with my family because I had no free time. Plus, I was writing about topics that didn't interest me and I was bored and prone to procrastination. I understand that it's difficult to be picky when starting out, but if you're in a position to pick and choose, do consider whether or not you'll be happy with a gig before signing on.

4. There's a Lot More to Working as a Freelance Writer than Writing

I thought I could spend the whole day typing and doing nothing else. Writing is only a small part of a freelance writer's job. We have to do a lot of research. We spend hours on the phone or with email. We comb the job boards looking for work and we have to keep our accounts in order. Successful writers multi-task.

5. You Get What You Give

It's not enough to turn in 500 words and be done with it. If you want good pay and cushy gigs, you have to rock the customer service and fulfill all your promises. Give every job your all. When you go through the motions your job list and clientele reflect this. If you have a good work ethic and your clients are pleased you'll get referrals, raises and more jobs. What are some of the things you wish you knew about freelance writing when you were just starting out?

60 Helpful Blog Posts for Freelance Writers and Bloggers

Deborah Ng — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:57:46 +0000

by Deb Ng As you know, I love to share links with you. Today instead of the usual link love, I'd like to do something different. I'm going to share my bookmarks. Over the years, I've collected so many great blog posts and articles about all aspects of freelance writing I thought I'd share them with you here. Hope you find at least a couple of these useful! And while you're browsing the posts, check out the blogs. All of them are worthwhile and deserve a place in your feed reader! Behold (in no particular order):

60 Helpful Blog Posts for Freelance Writers and Bloggers

10 Sure Fire Headline Formulas That Work at CopyBlogger
101 Essential Freelancing Resources at Freelance Switch
7 More Sure Fire Headline Formulas That Work at CopyBlogger
5 Step Goal to Setting and Achieving Goals for Your Frelance Writing Career at All Freelance Writing
50 Ways to Screw Up Content at Big Red Notebook
How Bloggers Make Money with Blogs at ProBlogger
Be a Better Interviewer at Chris Brogan
3 Ways to Never Lose Sight of Why You Rock at Rock Your Day
101 Blog Tips I Learned in 2006 at Daily Blog Tips
5 Steps to Letting Your Blog Posts Write Themselves at Performancing
6 Cool Tools to Track Your Time at Freelance Switch
10 Words to Avoid in Your Writing at Writing White Papers
Six Common Punctuation Errors that BeDevil Bloggers at CopyBlogger
Freelance Advice from the Blogosphere at Freelance Parent
What Happens to Your Blog if Something Happens to You at Performancing
34 Tips That Will Make You a Better Writer at Daily Writing Tips
10 Reasons Businesses Fail at Freelance Parent
The Cost of Procrastinating at Sparkplugging
Where Have All the Freelance Writing Jobs Gone? at CopyBlogger
Punctuation: A Small Primer at Blogging Tips
SEO Copywriting Rates: How I Got to the $100 Article Mark and You Can Too at Inkwell Editorial
7 Ways to Research Your Freelancing Target Markets at Freelance Switch
Gross Writing Errors Found on the Web at Daily Writing Tips
How to Write Scannable Content: A Six Step Approach at Daily Blog Tips
How to Find - and Secure - Freelance Writing Clients at Entrepreneur's Journey
7 Important Lessons Freelance Writers Can Learn Working in Fast Food at Freelance Writing Jobs and Other Stuff
Green Tips for Freelance Writers at Inkwell Editorial
5 Tips for Marketing Your Freelance Business at Freelance Switch
Starbucks and Internet Piracy at Bob Bly
12 Things You Should Never Say to a Client at Freelance Folder
22 Places to Find Freelance Wrtiing and Blogging Jobs at Freelance Writing Jobs
40 Yiddish Words You Should Know at Daily Writing Tips
How to Start Your Freelance Writing Business: Honing Your Craft at Writing Journey
The Best Way to Start Out in Freelance Writing at Daily Writing Tips
How to Write an Article in 20 Minutes at CopyBlogger
67 Niche Freelance Writing Markets You May Never Have Considered at Freelance Parent
Questions to Ask Clients About Their Website Content at Men with Pens
Repeat After Me: I Will Ask for More Money Next Time at The Well Fed Writer
Here's Why You Need a Blog at Freelance Switch
13 Ways to Promote Your Next Blog at ProBlogger
44 Resume Writing Tips at Daily Writing Tips
If I Started Today at Chris Brogan
5 Simple Rules for Getting Great Guest Posts on Your Blog at Successful Blog
9 Ideas for a More Creative and Effective Brainstorming Process at Freelance Folder
The Freelance Switch Hourly Rate Calculator
101 Ideas to Get More Work and Generate New Client Leads at Freelance Switch
Hiring Bloggers: Know Your Performance Numbers at Blog Herald
Writers Bore vs. Writers Block at Write from Home
6 Career Change Mistakes to Avoid at Escape from Corporate America
10 Reasons Commenting is Good for Bloggers at Chris Garrett
Job Hunting Reputation Management: Scary Stats & 3 Tactics You Can Use at Marketing Pilgrim
46 Things to Do Before Starting a Blog Network at XFeP
Say Hello to Your Inner Critic and Write Faster at How Not to Write
How Not to Promote Your Services at Ink Thinker
What Do You Do When Someone Steals Your Content at Lorelle on WordPress
A Six Part Guide to Technical Writing at PoeWar
3 Simple Cheats to Free Up Five Hours this Week at Rock Your Day
The Beginners Guide to Promoting Your Blog at Social Media Explorer
178 Ways to Improve Your Internet Writing at the Writing Journey
5 Thought Provoking Posts About Responsibility at Confident Writing

What blog posts do you find most useful? Feel free to share in the comments, but don't forget comments with links go into moderation. Enjoy!

When Was the Last Time You Said Thank You?

Deborah Ng — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 12:02:09 +0000

by Deb Ng Growing up, my mom used to make us write thank you notes for everything. Even the lamest, last minute five and dime gift from friends of friends we barely even knew. She said regardless of the gift, it's always the deed that counts. Someone was thoughtful to us and we should be thoughtful in return. That advice stayed with me and I carried it all through my career and also through my life as a mom. My son, much to his chagrin, has to send thank you notes as well.

Saying Thank You Can Get You Noticed

As many people who I freelanced for over the years can attest, I always send a "thank you for the opportunity" note after a job is done and this has presented me with more work on many occasions. Clients appreciate the professionalism, the customer service and the good manners. Every year around this time I also send thank you notes to the woman who spends two and a half hours getting out my gray every six weeks, the people who care for my lawn and anyone else who has done something nice for me - even if I paid them for their service. As a Community Manager I also send thank you's to many people who take the time out of their schedule for an interview with us. I just feel it's the right thing to do. Recently, after sending him a thank you note, I was rewarded with this "Tweet" from social media whiz Chris Brogan. When someone like Chris takes the time out to make note of your work, you know you're on the right track. I also send thank yous to people who interview me for jobs, even if I don't make the cut. Once, even though I didn't get the job a client remembered my thoughtfulness and professionalism and hired me for a more lucrative project. I also send thank you's to folks who interview me for their blogs or podcasts. After all, they're helping to promote me and what I do. They deserve a thanks too.

Why Say Thanks?

Here, in a nutshell, are the reasons I say thank you on a regular basis:

Because it's good manners
Because people appreciate the appreciation
Because it gets me noticed
Because folks remember my name
Because it feels good
Because it's good to give credit when it's due
Because a good deed should always be rewarded
Because it's good follow up

Be Thankful, Even When You Get Nothing in Return

It feels good to say thank you, even if you're getting nothing in return. I thank every cashier for taking the time to ring up my order and every server who brings me food. I thank people who open doors or let me in front of them while driving. I don't always get a "you're welcome" in return, but that's not the point. I do it, because it's how I was raised, and my mom hasn't been wrong yet. Do you take time out to thank clients or the people who do a good job? Who do you show your appreciation to, and how?

Freelance Writing During the Holidays

Deborah Ng — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:10:44 +0000

The holiday season is an interesting time for many freelance writers. For some, it's a seasonal work-fest as they take on jobs other freelancers turned down in favor of spending extra time shopping or with family. For others it's stressful as they try to meet their deadlines. Freelance writing during the holidays was often difficult for me as my son was home plus I always went to away for a few days to spend some time with my sisters and brothers. I traveled with my laptop a lot! I tried to find solutions for keeping my son occupied but that only meant writing around a bunch of screaming kids, refereeing arguments, spending more time on craft projects than work, staying up late or rising at the crack of dawn to complete assignments, and driving back and forth to playdates, birthday parties and other events. To me, it was usually worth it to miss out on the pay in favor of a lighter workload. How do you freelance during the holidays? Do you step it up to take advantage of the extra work or do you slow it down in favor of holiday things?

Black Friday Deals for Freelance Writers and Bloggers

Deborah Ng — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:02:58 +0000

Make no mistake. I will NOT be waking up at 3:00 am to brave the crowds for the latest new items. I will NOT be pushing through throngs of people to fight over the latest "big" toy for my son. On Friday, I will be home enjoying my family. In fact, I have no plans to step inside a store or mall for the entire weekend. I'm not that adventurous. However, I know a few members of this community get a charge out of all the Black Friday deals and so I present to you some items of interest:

Black Friday Deals for Freelance Writers and Bloggers:

Vista Print: 80% off premium business cards+ free shipping
Vista Print: 50% off all calendars
Dell has a variety of notebooks and laptops on sale Friday.
MacMall has plenty of MacBooks up for offer
I like this Laptop Backpack at Best Buy
Staples has an office chair for $20 off
Staples also has a variety of computer accessories including cordless keyboards and mice. (I'm all about the wireless, myself.)
WalMart.com has a Flip HD video camera with accessories bundle. (I love my Flip)
A Hammer 400 GB portable hard drive at Buy.com is on $99 after rebate plus free shipping.
Flash drives make awesome stock stuffers at Buy.com.
Staples is offering $25 off on a Canon Power Shot digital camera.
Brookstone is taking $20 off a Flip Ultra video camera
Mac Connection has a variety of items for sale on Black Friday.

Happy shopping!

I'm Thankful For...

Deborah Ng — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:17:29 +0000

by Deb Ng Without getting too mushy: I'm thankful for...

..my family and friends
...a job I love
...this wonderful community
...life
...you

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

Setting Goals for 2009

Deborah Ng — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:03:37 +0000

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="340" caption="What are your goals for 2009?"][/caption] Every year around this time I set my goals. For the most part, I met most of my past goals. When I was freelancing more my goal each year was to earn $10,000 more than the year before. I'm happy to say this is a goal I always met. This year my situation has changed and therefore my goals have changed. As you know, I have a full time telecommuting gig and freelance a bit less. So do I still have writing goals? Of course. In 2009 I'm going to be concentrating less on freelancing goals and more on personal goals. I'm exploring more residual forms of income, for instance, ebooks. I have one I've been working on each night and I hope will be done before the end of the year. I also have ideas for several more ebooks. I'm also continuing to work on FWJ and this freelance writing community. I hope I'm on the right track. Because I have a day job it's a slow process but to me that makes it more enjoyable. I'd also like to take on more speaking, guest blogging and other opportunities where I can share what I know with other people. My friend David Peralty and I have an idea we feel is a great one, and hopefully we'll bring that to fruition in 2009. Professionally, I will continue to do the best job I can. I have the greatest job in the world and it's a pleasure to give it my all. As always, my biggest goal is to spend quality time with my family who will always come first. I hope to be the best possible example to my son and best friend I can be to my husband. So share....what are your goals for 2009?

Holiday Gifts for Bloggers: Blog Posts Sticky Notes

Deborah Ng — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 12:53:32 +0000

by Deb Ng I have to admit...if someone I know stuck a package of Blog Posts Sticky Notes in my stocking I'd be touched. It would mean the people in my life sort of get what it is I do. It might also add a touch of practical whimsy to my stocking. These aren't your usual post its, they're not even from the same company. Blog Posts Sticky Notes are from the Imagineering company. Each sticky looks like blank blog dashboard or comment form. But better. Blog Sticky Notes use advanced pencil to paper technology. No wires are involved. No cable hookup - just you and your favorite writing instrument. I know. The idea of putting pen to paper might seem challenging at first, but it can be quite freeing. Try it once and see what I mean. I promise, when your favorite blogger wakes up to find a be-ribboned package of Block Posts Sticky Notes under the sparkly pine he or she will marvel at your thoughtfulness and sense of humor. If Mr Ng took the time to find me an actual "blogging" gift, I'd probably bawl like a baby. A package of these puppies retail for about nine bucks and can be ordered through the Imagineering Company website. Trust me on this, it's a small thing that will mean a lot. Check out some of these other great holiday gift ideas for writers and bloggers:

Is Writing for the Web Holding You Back from Writing for Print?

Deborah Ng — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 15:50:27 +0000

by Deborah Ng When I first began writing for the web, it was just as practice. A way to earn money and get my rhythm going while querying magazines. This was about nine years ago, and my fellow web writers all had the same goal. To earn some money, practice writing and gain experience until we break into print. As of this writing, many of the web writers I started out with have had limited print success and they don't care. Same here. Once I started writing for the web on a regular basis, I started cutting back on my querying. I had a bite now and then but it didn't matter. My web clients published quicker and there was none of this "pay on publication" business where the check came six months to a year later. While I love the path I've taken, I sometimes become a bit wistful. Writing for the web has been a blessing, for sure, but I no longer have print aspirations. While I have no regrets, I wonder what would have happened if I didn't get so involved in this Internet thing. What do you think? Has Writing for the Web put off your print dreams? Do you care? Discuss...

Community Creativity Project: Caption This

Deborah Ng — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 23:29:47 +0000

[caption id="attachment_233" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Caption This!"][/caption]

Craigslist Ad of the Day: The "I'm So Interesting I'm a Book AND a Movie" Ad

Deborah Ng — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:10:37 +0000

by Deborah Ng Thanks to Terrece for passing on the link to this gem. How interesting is today's advertiser? Very, very important:

Looking for a writer/editor for my book (Columbus, ohio) Reply to: Date: 2008-11-27, 12:07AM EST I'm writing a very interesting life story about my childhood. I'm looking for someone who is willing to work with me finalizing the book, and share the profit when the book starts to sell. I believe this book can make a great movie; thus, the profit potential is high. If you're interested email me, and we can take it from there. * Location: Columbus, ohio * Compensation: Will profit from the book! * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. * Please, no phone calls about this job! * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

The other day a friend told me I should write a book about my life experiences because he finds them so interesting. The thing is, while all this might be interesting to one person, I can assure you the majority of the world would find a story about a freelance writer turned blogger turned Community Manager rather dull.I always wonder if the majority of the people who find themselves so interesting they need to write a book are sort of on the dull side too. Even if he's not duller than dirt, I'm thinking he might have a rather high opinion of himself. I mean, he already has plans for his interesting life to be turned into a book AND a movie. In fact, he feels his life is so interesting he's sure established editors and writers are going to take him up on his offer to write for nothing. Or the promise of something which we know means a whole lot of work for nothing. Unless Dude already has a contract in his hands, I'd pass on this offer. Interesting as it may be.

Separating Work from Home When You Work from Home

Deborah Ng — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:01:16 +0000

[caption id="attachment_241" align="alignright" width="314" caption="The key to work from home success without stress is balance."][/caption] I've long maintained folks who work at home work more hours than our commuting counterparts. For many of us, if the computer is on, we're at work. We just can't shut down. Last weekend I learned an important lesson because I didn't shut off Skype and ended up working most of the holiday weekend. Where do you draw the line when you work at home? The way I see it, the problem is twofold:

Set Business Hours

When I worked a regular 9 to 5 job it was easy for me to get in my home frame of mind. I left my job every day at the designated time, went home and did home stuff. I don't have that kind of luxury when I work at home. You can't put on your coat and go home when your office is in the same place you eat, sleep and bathe. It's easier said than done, but establishing business hours can help you draw the line. Speaking from experience, it's tough to say, "OK, it's 6:00. I'm done working for the day" and leave your work at home job. Once you get into a routine however, it's easy to switch hats.

Getting Into the Right Frame of Mind

This has been the topic of much discussion but I honestly believe clothes help to set the tone. I change into comfortable working clothes when it's time to get down to business, and wear something else for relaxation time with my family. Yes, I have been known to wear my flannel penguin pajama pants while working from time to time, but the clothes really do help to put me in the proper mindset. I also find that if I have established business hour, say when my family is at work and school, I have a better ability to focus. I can't always pay attention to my job when my son is practicing piano or my husband is running power tools. Having quiet time to work each day helps to put me in the right frame of mind. Once the family starts getting down to business, it's time for me to close shop.

Learning to Say No

I know I said the problem is two fold, but I thought of another. Go with me on this, folks. If we're over extended it's hard to think about home life because there's so much work to do. Not everyone has the luxury of saying no to work, but if the case load gets to be too much it should be a consideration. I made the mistake of sacrificing personal time to earn more money. Now that I've found my balance, I'm so much happier. If you want to separate your job life from your home life, you have to do just that. Separate it. No one can change the situation but you.

Establish "Me" Time

Ok. so maybe "twofold" was a poor choice of words since we're up to four folds. Can't help it. The ideas keep coming. Must. Write. Down. In addition to established business hours, I also have time set aside for just me. I can do whatever I want during that time (usually when my family is sleeping). I use it for my different projects, to do shopping, read a book, take a long bath or what have you. I was stressed out for years because it was just work/family/work/family. There was no time for Deb. Once I started taking at least an hour for myself each day I was less cranky and less stressed. It's so hard to find that perfect balance, but once you do life totally rocks.

Stop Doing Fun Stuff During Work Time

Yeah, I know. Five. So here's the thing. One of the reasons you might be up working at midnight is because you're doing too many non-work related things during your business hours. While I do believe Twitter and other social networks are necessary, I also know when I'm spending too much time socializing and not enough time working. And face it, while Google is a great research tool, how many of us go off on tangents when we're online and spend too much time surfing instead of working. And then there's the TV. And the fridge. And the neighbor who stopped by with a coffee cake. Once in a while these things are cool, but if you're spending your business hours doing stuff that isn't business related, you're going to cut into your family time and personal time.

Work it Out on Paper

Here's something i did to help me prioritize and schedule my time better. I wrote down every thing I did every day for a month. I didn't think I was a procrastinator but I wasted a lot of time doing stuff that had nothing to do with my business. I did the grocery shopping, I worked out, I surfed and socialized. Now, these are important things, but because I did them during business hours, I was working late in to the night and waking in the wee hours of the morning to get things done. So I made a schedule. I now wake 30 - 45 minutes before my family to work out. I go out to dinner with my friends once a month or meet them during my established lunch hour. I do grocery shopping in the morning after the family leaves, but before my "work hours". This may not work for everyone, but it helped me to balance work and home. With scheduled activities I'm now pulling less of a juggling act and I'm less stressed. Better yet, I have more time for my family. Tell me, what do you do to separate work from home when you work from home?

Ideas are Free: Use Them Often

Deborah Ng — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:47:14 +0000

As I write this, I have plans in my mind for a couple of new projects I'm working on with my friend David Peralty. I told my sister what we have planned and she agrees they're good and something you don't see every day, but wonders if I'm going to have enough time to do what I need to do. Some people knit or watch TV to relax. Me, I like to start new projects. I can't help it. I have ideas in my head that are begging to come out. Ideas are free. In this economy we can't afford to invest in a lot of useless tools and applications. Instead, we have to take advantage of the tools we were born with and think about how we can best put them to use. That's why I like to run with my ideas. Some of them are good and some are bad, but I never know until I put them into action. Don't give up on your ideas. Write them down, play with them. Put them away and revisit them, but hold them dear. You never know when your idea can become the next big thing. Without ideas, you're just doing what other people thought of.

Can Community Ever Be a Bad Thing?

Deborah Ng — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 17:49:57 +0000

I received an interesting email a little while ago. With the author's permission I'm repriting, but not mentioning names.

Dear Deb, I wanted to participate in your discussion about if FWJ should have a forum but I didn't want to post my answer in the comments. I'm not a fan of forums because I don't want to be friends with my competition. I don't believe in "communities" centered around one's chosen profession because I don't want to not apply for a job because I'm feeling the love for another writer. Community holds writers back from getting what they deserve because they're so worried about upsetting friends. Communities like this also create more competition because we're all applying for the same jobs. So no. No forum for me.

Just call me Cranky (name withheld by request)

Wow, Cranky. What an interesting point of view. Suffice it to say I respectfully disagree. I feel community creates a helpful atmosphere. We help each other to succeed and that's a very good thing. I never look at my fellow writers or bloggers as competition because we have so much to offer each other, and if we both apply for the same job? Let the best person win! I found your note to be a contradiction, however. First you say you don't like to participate in online communities because being friendly makes it hard for you to apply to the same job as someone else, but then you also say it creates too much competition for the same job. So, it can't be holding too many people back. I do think the virtual world enables more people to apply for the same job, but is that a bad thing? It just means employers are now able to choose the best person for the job from a larger pool of writers. Since there are more freelance writing jobs available now than before this whole web writing thing took off, it's also good news for you. Consider this, the Internet isn't going anywhere. There will always be jobs for writers. If you're a good writer, you have a good work ethic and do what it takes ensure your clients' happiness, landing jobs shouldn't be too much of a problem. My competitors are my friends. If I don't get a job, it only means I'll be happy for someone else. What do you think? Is community a bad thing? Are we fraternizing with the competition?

Are We Losing Our Individuality?

Deborah Ng — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 18:08:06 +0000

In the past few weeks many freelance writing and blogging blogs included posts on the following (Yours Truly is no exception):

Gift Ideas
Setting Goals
Top X Places to Find Freelance Writing Jobs
Using an Editorial Calendar
...and a number of topics that are being done to death.

So let me ask you...is it easier for us to borrow someone else's ideas than come up with our own? What do you think?

Freelance Writing Jobs Community Brainstorming Session

Deborah Ng — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 12:57:09 +0000

So I spent this weekend answering some of my mail (have more to go - thanks for your patience) and a common question is from bloggers and web content writers who write about the same topic day in and day out and sometimes have trouble coming up with ideas. As someone who has been in this boat before I understand how hard it is to stay fresh. Let us help you. Throw a topic into the comments and we will assist you with ideas for posts and articles. Go on, don't be shy. That's what a community is for!

The Impotence of Proofreading

Deborah Ng — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 12:03:21 +0000

Thanks to my brother in law Mark for turning me on to this video. Though it's talking about proofreading term papers, I think it's appropriate to freelance writers. Enjoy!
via videosift.com

Why I Write

Deborah Ng — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:43:52 +0000

[caption id="attachment_265" align="alignright" width="225" caption="For me, writing isn't a job, it's a passion"][/caption] by Deb Ng One of my first freelance writing gigs was a weekly online humor column. I worked full time however, so I did much of my writing during the morning and evening commutes - an hour each way. It came to pass that no matter what I was doing - working, watching TV, washing the dishes, walking in the subway - I was writing. I was forming sentences and ideas and kept playing with those ideas until I could find a keyboard or pen and paper. It's like I couldn't shut off the words in my head. It's always been that way for me. Even when I was younger I kept journals and notebooks to store my ideas. I look through many of them now and laugh, but it seems I always had to write something. When teachers would assign papers or essays other kids would groan but not me. I'd eagerly plan my topic and outline and couldn't wait to go home and begin. I write because it's what I was destined to do. Even if I had to work in a cube farm, I'd still be writing. I don't have a choice. I think if I didn't write my head would explode. I know I must look so silly to some jotting down ideas or talking into my keyring at the most interesting moments. I can't help it though, the wheels are constantly turning. Writing isn't a job or a hobby. It's a passion. It's an addiction. It's something I couldn't give up if I tried. Why do you write?

30 Types of Freelance Writing Jobs and How to Get Them

Deborah Ng — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 22:25:23 +0000

by Deborah Ng We talk about writing for web and print as if there are only two forms of freelance writing - magazines and newspaper (print) and web content (web). This isn't the case. There are so many ways to support one's self as a freelance writer and the aforementioned print and web opportunities are only a part of it. Today I'd like to explore some of the different types of opportunities available to freelance writers, and offer a few hints as to how to land some of these jobs. While this report is nowhere near being "in-depth" I did do a bit a research. I'm hoping this can be used as a starting point for further research. I give you:

30 Types of Freelance Writing Jobs and How to Get Them

1.Web Content

Associated Content, LovetoKnow, Constant Content, About.com , Demand Studios, WiseGeek, and many others are looking to hire writers to stock content for their websites. Many of these content sites request their writers rely on keywords and top search terms to bring in traffic and pay either a flat fee or a fee plus page view or traffic bonuses. Some web content places pay very little so do read all the fine print before signing on.

How to Get it: To work for web content sites, visit the website and look for a "Write for Us" or "Jobs" link and apply. Some places like About.com and LovetoKnow are strict in their acceptance policies. Others, like Associated Content, accept all who apply.
College: No
Experience: Depends on the content site.

2. Web Copy

Web copy refers to writing sales, promotional, or other copy for a website. The difference between this type of writing and the content writing mentioned above is that most web content sites are looking specifically to stock their websites with content in order to bring in revenue. Those who are looking for copy for their individual websites usually have another purpose in mind, to bring in traffic and foster interest in a product or service.

How to Get it: The most popular way to find jobs writing copy for website is to look on the job boards. Many site owners and web masters advertise at places such as Freelance Writing Jobs, Craigslist and others. You could also contact web owners directly and offer a letter of introduction asking them to keep you in mind for their writing projects. 8 out of 10 of the potential clients may say no, but it's the 2 who say yes who really matter.
College: Not always but knowing something about proper grammar usage can't hurt.
Experience: It helps

3. Blogs

Blogging jobs abound online now. Not only are individual bloggers doing well, but many blog networks are hiring too, but those aren't the only game in town. Individual web property owners are looking for bloggers as are businesses. As many companies realize they need a web presence, expect to see more blogging jobs in the future.

How to Get it: Blogging gigs are some of the easiest jobs to find right now. Plenty of websites such as ProBlogger, Blogging Jobs, Performancing, Craiglist, Freelance Writing Jobs and many more advertise blogging gigs. Keep in mind that most networks are low paying but some do offer traffic bonuses as incentive. The blogging jobs offering the most money are for private clients and corporations.
College: No
Experience: Not always. Not for most networks.

4. News Reporter

Reporting for newspapers, magazines and even television might seem glamorous but it's very hard work, often for little pay. You'll be expected to sniff out stories, break news and even work on pieces that may not be so attractive. You might also be expected to travel on weekends and holidays and even go to dangerous places, it all depends on your contract with the newspaper or network.

How to Get it: Apply directly to newspapers and television stations and read the want ads.
College: A degree in journalism or communications is usually required.
Experience: For a small local newspaper, no. The more prestigious the news outlet, the more experience necessary.

5. Newspaper Columnist

As a former newspaper columnist I can assure you the pay most columnists receive won't keep you in fancy shoes or pay the rent on an Upper West Side apartment like Carrie Bradshaw. Most newspaper columnists don't earn much money at all. It's a rewarding, fun gig, however, and can lead to bigger and better things.

How to Get it: Pitch your column directly to the newspaper.
College: Depends on the newspaper and the type of column
Experience: Not for a small, local paper. The big guns may want to see a resume.

6. Features Writer

Features writers write articles for newspapers, magazines and other news outlets that will be "featured", in other words, it will get a cover, cover line, or other type of prominent display. There are many types of features, for instance, a celebrity interview or background to a major news story. As you can imagine, these gigs are coveted and usually go to folks who have long established themselves or have a good relationship with an editor. Also, many outlets employ staff features writers. Still, it's not unheard of for a new freelance writer to pitch an idea with success. Feature writing is lucrative too - many feature writers are paid upwards of $2,000 a piece.

How to Get it: Pitch your query to magazines.
College: Helps
Experience: Most of the time.

7. Magazine Freelancer

Getting your foot in the door of a magazine can only lead to bigger and better things. If a freelancer does well with a first assignment, this can land many more regular assignments. Once a writer is featured in one magazine, this leads to writing assignments within other magazines and publications. Breaking into print journalism is many writers' dream. This isn't always easy because so many writers are vying are pitching queries and most magazines only have a couple of open spots for freelancers each month. If a freelancer has a relationship with the magazine and its editors he has the best shot of landing the gigs. Still, new writers can and do land assignments and are encouraged to keep trying, despite rejection.

How to Get it: Troll the various magazine markets online or pick up a copy of the Writer's Market (also available online.) Learn what each magazine expects from querying authors before sending your pitch. Not knowing who to pitch to or the proper format will result in rejection.
College: No
Experience: No, but it helps sometimes.

8. Catalog Description Writer

When I was an editorial assistant at a graphic design studio we did a lot of catalog work. For big jobs we brought in freelancers to help write descriptive paragraphs to sell products in the catalogs we designed. In many cases this was boring, boring work. The upside was that we got to keep some of the items sent for us to write about. Ask me about hair in a can or the flowbee sometime.

How to Get It: Align yourself with catalog designers, graphic design firms and advertising agency by sending your details and following up with some cold calling. Every now and then you might see these gigs advertised, but it's rare. Most catalog designers go with freelancers from their own pool.
College: No.
Experience: Helps

9. Corporate Copywriting

Businesses often employ freelance copywriters to write brochures, promotional copy, employee manuals and more. Expect to see more of this type of hiring as the current economy will prevent many businesses from hiring a staff writer. Corporate Copywriters should be well versed in business writing and corporate business practices. A job well done often brings the promise of more work and referrals to other clients.

How to get it: Look for ads in newspapers and online. Cold call businesses and send introduction packets to advertise your services.
College: Yes.
Experience: Helpful but if you're a good writer the work can speak for itself.

10. Advertising Copywriter

As with the Corporate Copywriting gig mentioned above, many advertising agencies hire freelancers because they don't have to pay the overhead required of a full time staff member. Advertising copywriters help to create the text for ad campaigns, brochures, promotions and more

How to Get it: Most ads for freelance advertising copywriters are advertised in newspapers or advertising trade publications. You could also try cold calling and sending promotional material to a potential client.
College: For Sure
Experience: Yes

11. Real Estate Writing

You know all those Location!Location! Location! ads you see in newspapers and flyers? Someone has to write them. Many times they're written by Realtors, but in busy offices they hire out. If you can make a hovel seem like a mansion and know how to write a description that sells, you can have a shot at writing real estate captions.

How to Get it: Contact your local Realtor offices.
College: Not really, but real estate knowledge helps.
Experience: No

12. Grant Writing

Grant Writers research and write proposals so non profits and other organizations can receive funding from various government agencies. The proposal involves writing an application, discussing the reasons for the funding and describing the applicant and its intentions. The grant writer is also expected to handle all follow up. While many businesses do employ full time grant writers, grant writing jobs for freelancers abound.

How to Get it: Look for the ads, or research businesses that have received grants in the past and send them your details.
College: Absolutely
Experience: It's a good idea

13. Non-Profit Writing

Non-profits often needs writers for grants, proposals, promotional material and fundraising events. Writing for non-profits looks great on a resume and gives one the warm fuzzy feeling of doing something great for mankind.

How to Get it: Cold calling, send details to the agency's human resources department, respond to newspaper and Internet ads.
College: For sure
Experience: Mmm hmmm.

14. Ghost Writing

Ghostwriting is non-bylined writing or writing a book or article but someone else takes the credit. This is different from using a pseudonym because your pen name still gets the credit. With ghostwriting, you do all the work but someone pays you an agreed amount for all rights in addition to removing your name from the project and replacing it with someone else's.

How to Get it: Look for ads on the Internet and in newspapers.
College: Not necessary if you're a good writer.
Experience: It's all a matter of preference.

15. Essay Writing

Writing essays for the back of a magazine or to include in an anthology is fun and rewarding. These gigs aren't always easy to come by, however. Many essayists are vying for one or two monthly spots in each publication and your essay has to stand out above the others to be considered for inclusion. Moreover, if the publication already has a famous name attached to its regular essay section, your chances are slim. Having essays included in an anthology is easier but again you're competing with many others for a few open spots. Plus, some anthology editors don't pay their contributors so you'll have to weigh the pros and cons.

How to Get it: Query magazine editors or look for ads on freelance writing jobs boards.
College: Nah.
Experience: No, just the ability to paint a picture with words.

16. Business Plan Writing

Business plan writers are much in demand. With new startups seeking funding every day, an experienced business plan writer can earn a lucrative income. Business plans are also necessary for owners seeking assistance from the government or a bank loan. Many business owners prefer to hire a professional to handle their business plan writing because it's an important document and they don't want to risk messing it up. In short, if you know nothing about writing a business plan or have no experience in the business world, this probably isn't the writing job for you.

How to Get it: Check the freelance writing job boards, newspaper want ads, and network with business people in your community. Research startups and new businesses and contact the owners to discuss writing their business plan.
College: Most business owners would like to see some sort of education on a resume.
Experience: Yes

17. Press Release Writing

Press releases are needed by businesses and individuals alike. They're used to introduce new hires, product lines, services or just announce the news. There's a certain art to a press release as they have to give all the necessary information in an easy to read format. The purpose of a press release is to get folks interested enough to report on the enclosed news or spur people into action.

How to Get it: Contact businesses to find out if they can use your services. Don't just go for PR firms, every business needs a press release writer at one time or another. There are also plenty of ads for press release writers on the job boards.
College: No, just a flair for the dramatic.
Experience: Helps but if you rock a good sample you don't need it.

18. Technical Writing

Technical writing can mean many things, for instance it can involve writing a manual to use a certain product or a short how-to at a blog or a website. Technical writers need to be spot on with their information and detail oriented. Technical writers must also have the ability to stay focused as some of the writing can be tedious. It's a lucrative career, however, and many technical writers have more work than they can handle.

How to Get It: Send details and cold calling places that hire technical writers, or look for ads on the job boards and in newspapers.
College: No doubt.
Experience: You betcha.

19. E-Book Writing

By now you know ebooks stand for "electronic" books and just about anyone with anything to say or sell has written one. For many online personalities, they're a lucrative form of passive income. The beautiful thing about e-books is that you can either write your own and earn for years to come, or you can write them for someone else, and earn as you go. You can even do both. You don't have to deal with publishers or agents, either. If you're writing your own e-book there's software and templates available, and if you're writing for someone else, they usually handle the details. If you know your topic well, e-books are enjoyable and easy to write and a great source of income.

How to Get it: If you're writing your own e-books, just start writing. To write e-books for others, check out the online job boards.
College: No
Experience: It helps to know something about the topic.

20. Book Writing (for others)

You don't have to have your own ideas to write a book, sometimes publishing houses and individual hire writers to write books on certain topics. Many individuals have neither the time nor inclination to write thousands of words, but wish to have someone more seasoned expand upon their ideas. Writing or collaborating on book projects can be quite lucrative.

How to Get it: Respond to ads on job boards and trade publications such as Publisher's Weekly.
College: I'm thinking people who want a book written are looking for college.
Experience: You'll need to show you're the best person for the gig.

21. Legal Writing

Law offices often employ freelance writers to draft contracts, stock legal websites, write legal briefs, research papers and more. Many law offices are also hiring bloggers for the "blawgs" too. Getting in with the right firm or website can guarantee lots of return work. Also, great word of mouth referrals.

How to Get it: Ads on job boards, in legal trade magazines and cold calling potential clients.
Education: You must have a legal background
Experience: Helps

22. Resume Writing

In today's job market there's bound to be competition. Many employers are able to take their time and choose the best candidate from a large pool of applicants. One's cover letter and resume must stand out above the rest. In fact, job seekers are willing to pay good money for resumes if it will make an employer take notice.

How to Get it: Apply to resume writing firms, answer job ads and advertise as a resume writer.
College: No but having a background in career counseling, human resources or business is a great starting point.
Experience: Not necessarily but it's a good idea to know how to format and word a resume for optimal results.

23. Musican/Band Bios

Serious musicians and bands are always on the hunt for bio writers. These bios are needed for demo packages to send to record companies. A good bio also helps band management when it comes to booking gigs. A good band bio writer has a love of music and interest in helping musicians succeed.

How to Get it: Print up some business cards and flyers and pass them out at clubs and concerts, contacts a record company's A&R Department and look for ads on job boards, musician and entertainment newspaper "help wanted" ads and leave flyers and promotional material on music studio bulletin boards.
College: No, man.
Expereince: No, just the ability to rock the keyboard.

24. FAQ's

Websites, forums and businesses all need FAQ's or "Frequently Asked Questions" written and answered for their online resources. This can be a simple Q&A or something technical depending on your clients needs.

How to get it: Online job boards and bidding sites.
College: Nope.
Experience: Depends on the client.

25. Annual Reports

Public companies communicate to their shareholders with an annual report. These reports discuss the state of the business, the budget, changes in personnel at more. Annual report writers must be well versed in business terminolgy and be able to speak to shareholders in a language they'll understand. It's also important for them to know the nature of the business and proper annual report formatting. Very lucrative - one annual report can pay several thousand dollars.

How to Get it: Advertisements on job boards and in newspapers, write and cold call publicly owned companies.
College: Yes
Experience: Without a doubt

26. In Flight Magazines

You know those complimentary magazines tucked in the back of each seat on airplanes? Those are called in-flight magazines and they're very willing to publish articles for freelancers. In flight magazines accepts essays, humor, puzzles, travel pieces and more. They also pay quite well, sometimes a dollar a word.

How to Get It: Query each individual magazine - but research and read each one first.
College: No
Experience: No, but you will need to show good samples of your writing.

27. Trade Magazine

If you're well versed in a particular hobby or no a particular business inside and out, you might consider working for a trade magazine. For some, the trades are a little dull. I mean, who wants to write day in and day out for Button Maker Digest or Yarn Dying Monthly but for others they're good steady work and a great way to make money. Plus if niche is right up your alley it's another way to establish yourself for an expert. Some trade magazines pay very well - even $1.00 a word.

How to get it: Query the magazine
College: No but you should know the trade.
Experience: See above. Plus you should have good writing samples to show.

28. Instructional Design

Instructional designers write courses and manuals for various businesses. Most businesses that use Instructional Designers have full timers on staff. However, some industries do employ Instructional Designers on a freelance basis. These jobs are rare though I do see several advertised per year. Most pay very well. (Side note: My mother was an Instructional Designer. She wrote courses and textbooks for accountants.)

How to Get it: Check the job ads or research which businesses might use Instructional Designers and give them a jingle.
College: Yes.
Experience: Yes

29. Research Writing

Research writing can mean many things to many businesses. It can mean putting together a trends report for a business or writing an in-depth article on a particular topic. With this kind of writing, "research" is the key word here. You'll have to interview experts, read reports and articles, books and more. This isn't your usual Google and write type of writing.

How to Get it: Look for ads on the job boards. Research which companies need research writers and cold call or send your details.
College: Yes
Experience: Yes

30. Speech Writing

Many of the folks you see standing behind a lecturn didn't write their own material. They hired speech writers. Speech writers need to have a flair for the dramatic and the ability to draw in listeners and keep them tuned in throughout. They know when to add humor or tenderness and must write with each particular audience in mind. Jobs and reputations depend on well-written speeches.

How to Get it: Look for ads or send your details to and cold call public speakers.
College: Not necessarily.
Experience: Yes

Hat Tip: The inspiration from this post came from my friend Lorna Doone Brewer over at Freelance Parent. She recently posted a great list of niche writing gigs, which prompted the idea for this post.

What's Your Response Time?

Deborah Ng — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:24:09 +0000

Deb Ng Congratulations. You landed a new gig with a terrific client who is not only easy going, but has the promise of a lot more work in the future. Many of her projects are small, but plentiful. You promise to get right on it and set a date for the first's projects completion. Deadline date comes and goes, and your client doesn't hear from you. Two days later she sends a note asking how it's going. You assure her things are going smoothly and your project will be done by that evening. A few days later she checks on you again and you promise completion by that evening. You contact her the next afternoon to tell her the project is ready. Life goes along this way for a while. Your client asks you for stuff and you disappear for a while, surfacing only when she asks you how it's going. It takes you days instead of hours to respond.

Don't Be That Guy!

Do you know what's happening now? Your client is worried and frustrated. She has so much to get done but now she's not so sure you're the right person for the job. A relationship that showed promise in the beginning is now ...not so much. What happened? Poor customer service. Now your client has to choose between going with you, and worrying about whether or not the job is getting done, and having to search for someone else all over again. If I had to choose the one trait a freelancer has to have to succeed it's the ability to communicate, specifically, a good response time. If you promise work for Wednesday, turn it in Wednesday. If you can't turn it in on Wednesday, contact your client to discuss why.

Your Client Wants to Trust You

Response time is important. No one wants a micromanaging employer, but trust isn't immediate. You won't earn your client's trust if you disappear for days without a word or leave incomplete projects hanging without an update.You might think she's a pain in the butt, but she has a business to run. How can she do it properly without knowing what's going on with her project(s). Don't. Leave. Your. Client. Hanging. Avoid this by:

Responding to your client's questions and comments within a timely manner. Best case: within a couple of hours to 24 hours. Taking more than a day to communicate tells her you don't care about her or her projects. If your going to be away and can't communicate for several days at a time, your client should know this.
Completing all projects within your deadline. It doesn't matter if your client set a deadline or if you offered to have a projected completed by a certain day or time. It's unprofessional not to meet deadlines regardless of the situation. If there's an emergency or the deadline is honestly unrealistic, contact your client and talk.
Having good communication regardless of whether or not your client contacted you first. Don't wait for your client to ask questions or wonder what happened to you before offering an update. Let her know where she stands on a regular basis and she won't wonder if you're out having a good old time on her dime.
Always follow up. After you complete a project, contact your client and ask how everything is working for her. Offer to make reasonable changes at no charge and ask her to please keep her in mind for future projects. If she likes her experience so far, she'll no doubt become a regular client.

There's no reason any client should wonder what's going on. Always respond to questions in a timely manner and make good on all promises. Good communication and good follow up can mean the difference between lots of gigs and referrals, and, well, the opposite.

8 Reasons Why You're Not Getting the High Paying Freelance Writing Jobs

Deborah Ng — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:02:55 +0000

by Deb Ng We get letters here at Freelance Writing Jobs. We also receive many comments on our job leads blog. While most comments are positive, some thoughtful comments aren't so favorable about a few of the jobs we post here because they don't pay a lot. Though we do offer a good mix of writing jobs, I do get that not all gigs will be to everyone's liking. Now, those of you who remember me from back in the day when I was just starting out will remember I was kind of vocal about the low payers too. Then I had an epiphany. It wasn't the people who were accepting the low paying gigs who were keeping me from getting the good jobs, it was me.

Why You're Not Getting the High Paying Freelance Writing Jobs

If you're spending a lot of time ragging on the low payers and not getting the high payers, there could be a very good reason behind it.

1. You're Not as Good as You Think You Are

I know. Harsh, right? The fact is, great writers command great pay. That's not to say you're worthy of $5 writing jobs, but if you want to be paid $1 per word your work has to speak for itself. Many editors do like to reward good writers with good pay but if they end up doing most of the work for you, it's not very cost efficient. Turn in clean work. Why would an editor want to pay you good money when she has to practically rewrite everything you turn in?

2. You Don't Have Much Experience

I don't every believe a writer has to earn next to nothing to gain experience. Even the newest writer shouldn't earn $1 a blog post or $1 an article. With that said, I understand starting out at $10 or $20. Though it's not totally unheard of, not too many brand new writers will get thousand dollar gigs. As your experience grows, so should your pay.

3. You're Not Asking

If you feel you're deserving of a pay raise, ask. Many writers don't ask for an increase in pay because they don't want to lose their clients. If you've been working for the same person for years at the same rate, that person is taking advantage and you need to get aggressive. Inform your client you'll be raising your rates. If he balks, decide whether or not it's time to move on. If your client values your writing and your customer service, he'll pay the increase.

4. You're Not Looking in the Right Places

We talk often about where to find the higher paying freelance writing jobs. The truth is, you won't always find these online. We do try to bring these desirable gigs to you here, and though some might laugh, I know Craigslist often has very high paying jobs. If you want to find the really high paying gigs, you may have to close up your laptop and do some cold calling. If you're not going to take the time to really look for work, quit complaining the jobs aren't out there. They are, you just have to stop looking in the "easy"places.

5. You Don't Have a Very Good Reputation

It's true. Editors and webmasters talk. I've been contacted many times and asked what I know about certain writers and I've seen this in a few editors and bloggers' groups as well. If you have a reputation for arguing with your client, flaking out on projects, turning in sloppy work, or talking smack about your employers online, some might take offense. Whether you like it or not, it's now the practice to Google potential employees. Be careful what you say out there.

6. You Don't Apply for The High Paying Freelance Writing Jobs

Stop looking at the high paying freelance writing jobs with an "if only" mentality. If you want the gig, if you're suited to the gig, apply to it. The worst that can happen is the employer says no. If you're a good writer with the work and references to show for it, apply. Don't let lack of confidence keep you from good gigs.

7. Your Cover Letter and Resume Aren't a Good Representation

Hate to sound like a broken record here, but your cover letter and resume are the first impression a potential client will make. Sending in a cookie cutter, lackluster representation will get you cookie cutter, lackluster jobs. If you're not very good at resume writing, it may be worth the investment to have one professionally made.

8. You've Given Up

Looking for work is a job in itself. Why look hard when the Internet abounds with the easy jobs. You can do that...toil along writing 50 articles about drain plugs for a few bucks, but that gets old quick. If you really feel you're a good writer, you just haven't hit it big yet, don't give up. Your hard work WILL pay off, you just have to be willing to put in the time. What do you think are some of the reasons folks aren't getting the high paying freelance writing jobs? Discuss...

What is More Important: Your Brand or Your Job?

Deborah Ng — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 11:27:55 +0000

I've been thinking about my "brand" a lot lately. I didn't realize I had one before the past year or so but now, or so others tell me, I do indeed have a brand. My brand is my blogs and building community, and really, I can't argue with that. Here's the thing though, this branding thing has me worried. I mean, now that I now I have a brand I can't screw it up, right? So riddle me this: What is more important, your brand or your job? Please don't tell me my brand IS my job, because that's not true at all. My job is pimping someone else's brand. Which brings me to another question. What happens when your job interferes with your brand? What if, for instance, your association with your place of employment does damage to your brand? Or, what if (gosh forbid) bad things happen within your place of employment you'd rather not have your name associated with? And if that isn't enough, what happens if the line between your brand and your job's brand becomes blurred, and everyone forgets about your vision because your employer's overpowers it? I worked hard to build up my brand. It took me a while to realize it, but a lot rides on my good name. I'm sure it's the same for many of you. What do you think? Is your brand more important than your job?

Craigslist Ad of the Day: The "I Hope This Guy Isn't in Med School" Ad

Deborah Ng — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:09:19 +0000

Lordy. There are no words.

Biology Final (12/19) (CSI) Reply to: Date: 2008-12-18, 8:09PM EST Is any1 a BIO major and want to be hired to take a basic BIO 106 FInal ASAP let me know * Location: CSI * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests * Compensation: negotiable

What's the going rate on an exam these days? Also? Dude took out the ad yesterday and the test is today. I'm not a scholar but I'm thinking it's not enough time to screen the applicants, if you know what I mean. I mean, I could say I'm a biology major and take this guy's $500 or whatever he's paying, and then blow off the test or do a major screw up. Not that our friend here really deserves a good grade or anything. How nice that you can buy an education these days. Who will he pay to do his job for him - if he's ever hired anywhere?

Introducing Kommein

Deborah Ng — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 20:50:35 +0000

New project alert! David Peralty and I have a great new project launching tomorrow. It's call Kommei n and it's a blog about building community and community management. Kommein, by the way, is an Indo-European term meaning "shared by all". In other words, community. As you know, community is very important to me and we wanted to create a place to share ideas and tips with other community minded people. I hope you stop by and read our posts and offer your own thoughts about community. This is so far a great, fun project. One that I hope keeps us busy for a long time to come.

The Freelance National Anthem

Deborah Ng — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:37:25 +0000

Please rise for the Freelance National Anthem:

Would You Rather?

Deborah Ng — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:26:04 +0000

...earn $20,000 more than you earn now and work 10 hours a day at an office job, or would you rather work at home earning what you earned now or less. What is the tipping point where someone makes an offer that you can't refuse in order to return to a full time job. For me, I have no intention of ever returning to a traditional office job. So it would have to be desperate times for my family (because they always come first) or an offer I totally can't refuse. What would it take for you? Discuss...

Ok...Now I'm a Little Angry

Deborah Ng — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:17:38 +0000

Unoriginality bores me. Except when someone steals my blog's title, logo and more. Check out this poor copy of the FWJ website. It's using FWJ to send people to Get-a -Freelancer. Please help me spread the word that these scammers are in no way affiliated with FWJ. thanks

Let's Talk About Why You Really Want to Work at Home

Deborah Ng — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 16:58:41 +0000

by Deborah Ng One of the reasons I changed the FWJ logo from the pajama blogging lady to the coffee cup is because I was getting a little tired of the assumption that folks who work at home are a little lazy. It's assumed that it's too much trouble for those of us who work at home to change out of our sleep clothes. It's assumed that those of us who work at home do so because we don't want to work a "real" job or "real" hours. It's assumed that those of us who work at home do so because we can't adapt to the strong work ethic we need to spend our days at a cube farm.

Wrong.

If you're looking to work at home because you love the idea of being able to write in your pajamas or design websites for a couple of hours a day, think again. While I have no desire to ever return to the traditional office job, the reasons aren't out of laziness. In fact, I maintain one must have a stronger work ethic than those who work in an office because we have to remain focused and not let the television or friends distract us. Moreover, I maintain those of us who work at home put in more hours than those who work outside of the home. So if you have romantic preconceived ideas about luxuriating through a work at home job instead of putting in the time and effort needed to hold down a "real" job, put that thought out of your mind right now. I wonder, is it the actual working at home or the romantic idea of working at home you're after.

Why Do You Really Want to Work at Home?

Is it because you want to spend more time with your family? If so, you many be frustrated because you're having a hard time balancing home and work. The truth is, it's extremely difficult to work while children are demanding your attention or fighting in the background over the last chocolate chip cookie. Sometimes I wonder if I would be a more hands on parent if I left my "real" office job at 5:00 and didn't return back to it at 8:30 a.m. Is it because you want to dress more comfortably? Indeed it's a perk. My stocking bill is lower and I rarely wear heels anymore. I don't always work in my pajamas though because I feel the need to separate work from home. Getting changed into some casual clothes to work in puts me in the proper frame of mind. Different freelancers have different opinions on that. However, dress isn't really a reason to work at home. Is it because you want more flexibility? One of the best reasons to work at home is the ability to work via your own schedule. I love working early in the morning before everyone is a wake while the house is so quiet. Plus I can take time off to lunch with friends or help my son with his homework and take him to activities. My recommendation is to set aside specific blocks of time as "work hours". When you start and stop constantly it's hard to be productive. I also found others respect your time more when you set non-negotiable business hours. Is it because you keep reading about so many work at home jobs? It's true, the Internet has created so many work at home opportunities. Be forewarned you can't quit your day job one day and have a huge clientele the next. It takes time to cultivate relationships. Moreover, in today's economy, work at home jobs are coveted and competition is fierce. My recommendation is to have work set up before taking the plunge. Is it because you want a lighter load? If so, you may not necessarily get that working at home. If you freelance you'll probably have a heavier load because you'll need to find lots of gigs to help compensate for the salary you left behind. You'll also need to work hard to find clients and meet deadlines. If money is no object, a lighter load is certainly a good reason to work at home. If you need to support a family, this is rarely the case. If you're looking to work at home, first think about the reasons you really want to work at home. It's not all fuzzy slippers and bon bons. There's a reality here and it's not always a free and easy lifestyle. I've never worked so hard in my life - and if that's not your goal you may as well stay back in your cube farm.

Don't Confuse Holiday Down Time with the Current Economy

Deborah Ng — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 13:02:23 +0000

You've probably noticed slim pickings these past few weeks. Everyone looking for work are reporting dismal findings. In fact, I receive many letters each day asking if this is a result of the current economy. My answer is "maybe not.

Don't get me wrong, times are going to be a little bit tough coming up, but that's not the main reason you're not finding any work this month. November and December are traditionally slow months because folks don't want to hire during the holidays. They don't want to spend money on writers during that time. Indeed we're experiencing tough economic times, but there will always be folks looking for writers, especially online. Even though advertising is down for many websites, folks still need to stock their sites and blogs with content and that's where we come in.

Things will pick up after January. I'm not saying there's going to be a big hiring boom, but you'll see more jobs. December is always a dismal month for freelancers, please don't get discouraged.

Caption This: Charmin Rest Rooms

Deborah Ng — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:50:31 +0000

by Deb Ng

When Are Rules Made to Be Broken?

Deborah Ng — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:23:13 +0000

by Deb Ng Ever since having a conversation with Liz Strauss on Twitter the other day, I've been thinking about following the rules. Specifically is it ever OK not to follow the rules? One of the reasons I never enjoyed any of my traditional office jobs was because of "the rules." Every thing had a rule. From how and where one poured coffee to how and where one filed a document, there were procedures to follow and regulations at every turn. I'm not one for a cookie cutter world. I'm not saying I have my own set of rules when working for others, because I find that disrespectful, but I do believe there are times when we should go with our hearts over policies and rules.

What if something doesn't feel right? Should we forget out gut and continue following proper protocol? Or should we explore further and take the course of action best suited to our own best interests?
What if a good friend is making a bad decision? Do we not say a thing out of politeness or kindly offer another point of view out of friendship?

When are rules made to be broken?

I don't follow the rules with my blogging. I hardly remember to tag my posts and only sometimes do I remember my SEO. Does that mean I'm a bad blogger?
I don't always follow the rules when raising my son. I feel he should be raised by parents, not books. Does that make me a bad mom?
I don't always follow the rules when socializing. I'm always myself rather than the person some people would like me to be. Does that make me a bad friend?
I don't always follow the rules when it comes to housework. I don't own a set of pearls and only give the house a really good cleaning when company comes. Does that make me a bad wife?
I don't always follow the rules with family. I don't call my mom every day and don't visit for Sunday dinner every weekend. Does that make me a bad daughter?

When is it ok not to follow the rules?

Do You Follow for the Sake of Following?

Deborah Ng — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 18:46:59 +0000

by Deb Ng It's no secret I have plenty of followers. It humbles me to know there are so many people interested in what I have to say or that I tell funny little stories about my dog. At least I hope that's why you follow me, I'd hate to be followed just for the sake of being followed. Let me explain... Recently I received several friend requests on Facebook and some follows on Twitter that have me scratching my head. For instance, the person who told me I was a fake and a phony two years ago, and the person who last year told me I was a horrible advice giver and the people who subscribe to this blog "sheep." Why would they want to follow me? I mean, if they don't agree with me or what I do, why the follow? Am I being followed just for the sake of racking up friends and followers, or do these folks really want to reach out and enjoy my company - just as I would theirs?? When you follow someone on Twitter or friend someone on FaceBook, do you give good thought to the reasons behind the follow or is it just to have some cool names on your list? Discuss...

Craigslist Ad of the Day: An All Caps Alert

Deborah Ng — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:55:50 +0000

I apologize in advance for the harsh treatment your eyes are about to receive:

TALENTED FREELANCE NEEDED FOR A BIG PROJECT (Midtown East) Reply to: Date: 2009-01-04, 7:32PM EST THIS IS FOR A NEW SOCIAL SITE SITE WILL INCLUDE, GOSSIP AND REAL NEWS ON SPORTS,MUSIC,TV,MOVIES THIS IS A REAL SITE AND WILL OPERATE ON A LEVEL OF TMZ/THISIS50.COM THIS WEBSITE WILL REQUIRE AGGRESSIVE DEDICATED WRITERS WHO WILL NEED TO TAKE EVERYDAY EVENTS AND WRITE ABOUT THEM IN AN INTERESTING WAY WITH A PIC OR PICS INCLUDED YOU WILL RECIEVE A REAL CONTRACT TO WORK ON THIS SITE,THIS CONTRACT WILL GURANTEE SITE OWNERS PRIVACY AS WELL AS INSURANCE THAT YOU WILL BE A REAL EMPLOYEE OF THE SITE PAYMENT IS POSSIBLE REPLY WITH ALL QUESTIONS AND RESUME * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests * Compensation: no pay

Here's what we know for sure:

This is a real website
You will get a real contract
It's a big project
You will be a real employee

And yet payment is only a possibility.

How's Your Networking?

Deborah Ng — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:53:56 +0000

One thing I find interesting among some of my freelance writing peers is how low they rank networking on the priority totem pole. Back in the day, networking wasn't as attractive because it involved putting on stockings and meeting via local conferences or career events, nowadays it's so much easier. But whether you prefer the online or the face to face, don't underestimate the power of networking. I think about how many people I met when I started out freelancing in 2000. I think about how many more I met after beginning this blog in 2005. I didn't meet the bulk of my readers here though. I met them elsewhere and invited them to come read my stuff. In return, I check out their stuff. I met them through face to face networks, online social networks and conferences and I continue to enjoy meeting people. I'd love to learn your thoughts on networking. Is is it a priority, and if so what kind of networking do you do? Please see the top navigation for access to all the blogs in the FWJ network, or visit from these links:

10 Things You Could Be Doing Instead of Reading this Blog Post

Deborah Ng — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:03:50 +0000

by Deb Ng Don't get me wrong. I love that so many of you visit our blogs every day and I hope you continue to visit. After all, we're a great place to network and find leads, especially now with our new forum. However, I'm also aware that we're a great place to procrastinate as well. I'm not trying to scare you away, without you there wouldn't be us. However, if you find you're only here because you have no other writing tasks, I'd like to offer you a list of things you can do with your spare time.

Troll for leads - There are so many places to look for freelance writing work. Some writers are complaining of slim pickings, but in my travels I see at least 20 to 30 good leads a day. How many are you finding?
Network - As we discussed other times, networking is essential for a successful freelance writing career. You can meet people who hire, people who know people who hire, people who know places that hire, people who have ideas and tips to share and more.
Go through your accounts - Have all your clients been invoiced? Have all your invoices been paid? Is your paperwork filed away? Tidy up your accounts and chase payments if necessary.
Read - Read books, blogs and magazines about writing or the topics you write about.
Answer your email - Stop procrastinating! If you're like me your email piles up if you don't get to it right away. Deal with it and move on.
Work on your book or ebook - Only a few pages left to do of mine, how 'bout you?
Do some cold-calling - Local businesses need writers. Find them by cold calling.
Work ahead - If you have blog posts or articles that need to be done next week or the week after, do them early and have a stress free end of the month.
Research - Research different places to work or topics of interest.
Writing prompts - Keep those creative juices flowing with writing prompts. Who knows? An innocent prompt can be the next great American novel!

What should you be doing right now?

Craigslist Ad of the Day - The "Deb Has No Words" Ad

Deborah Ng — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:30:38 +0000

Honestly. There are no words...

Reply to: Date: 2009-01-11, 4:34PM EST Hello. My name is Richard. I'm a born and raised New Yorker, who is in the middle of writing a play, which (knock on wood) should be up in June. The story entails a woman in a Real Estate Office who feels as if she's been sexually harassed by one of her "superiors" (a male coworker). The back end of her character is she is a repeated victim of sexual, physical, and psychological abuse as a child. This, in turn, drives her to have many unresolved issues, with men of power -- in or out of the workplace. My wish is to have the opportunity to interview women who find themselves in the adult-film, nude modeling, or prostitution business. Please do not take this as placing a value judgement on women who work in these industries. My main focus is to find out the reasons as to why they have chosen (or perhaps, in some instances, been coerced) to be part of this lifestyle. Unfortunately, I can only offer 15 dollars cash per hour. All participants will remain anonymous, and privacy will be respected. * Compensation: 15 dollars cash per hour * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. * Phone calls about this job are ok. * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

And really no words are needed from me because Jodee summed it up pretty well when she said "I would think that anyone doing porn or turning tricks is making a heck of a lot more than $15 per hour...but hey....."

Guilt Free Rewards

Deborah Ng — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 12:38:23 +0000

by Deb Ng This isn't a plug for the day job, I promise. Yesterday afternoon I listened to an inspiring interview on BlogTalkRadio. My friend Dave Navarro of Rock Your Day fame was a guest on the WAHumor show, and threw out some practical ideas for balancing work and life and getting the most from both. I especially liked the tips regarding doing what you want without feeling guilty about it. Perhaps you can relate... I like to enjoy my evenings. Whether I'm watching television or a movie with Mr. Ng or crocheting or reading, that's my time to relax how I see fit. However, there are times when I feel really guilty about doing these things. I feel as if I should be working or blogging. I'm a notorious procrastinator, so if I didn't get the job done I can't enjoy myself. I found that if I treat my evening relaxation as a reward, I'm more apt to get things done. That's why when I knew there would be three hours of "Lost" goodness on television last night, I started work early and made sure I got it all done. When I sat down there wasn't any nagging feeling in the back of my head. I enjoyed my evening and I'm starting today on a positive note. The other day I wrote about how difficult it is to work around clutter, that goes for mind clutter too. Sit down, get the job done and remove the clutter from your life. When you're distraction free, you can work - and relax - without guilt.

Using Bad News as a Motivational Tool

Deborah Ng — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 11:06:40 +0000

by Deborah Ng So last week the Ng family received some bad news. Don't worry, we're all happy and healthy and will hopefully stay that way, but the news was unexpected and may result in the loss of an income. Then yesterday we received some more bad news. Another financial setback. Something that needs to get done is going to cost a lot more than we thought. Upon learning my news yesterdayI firstwent into my room and had a good cry. I recommed a good cleansing cry to everyone now and then, especially if no one is home because then you can get as loud as you want without having to worry about the kids or others worrying about you. After that I got up, showered and went back to work. When my work day was over, I figured out a course of action. I decided I wasn't going to use a financial setback as an excuse to sit around and wallow in pity. I was going to use it to kick my butt into gear and get going on a few projects that will help our situation. I finished my ebook and sent it off to another pair of eyes. Then I outlined my next ebook. I worked a lot later than I had in some time, but the words flowed smoothly and effortlessly. My bad news motivated me into action. I could have gone to the fridge for a pint and sat down and watched bad TV for the remainder of the day, but that wouldn't have helped my situation any. I took my lemons and made lemonade. I outlined some projects for myself and even reminded myself I could take on extra freelancing or consulting work if need be. Now all of a sudden things don't look so dreary. My bad news became my motivator. Things will be tight for a little while, but we'll get through it. I think we all work according to our emotions. If we let ourselves become too depressed, we can't function. It's hard to work with heavy stuff weighting the back of our minds. When bad news hits, take some time to react. Have a good cry, scream, punch some pillows and get it out of your system. Once you're composed, figure out your plan of action - at least tentatively. Bad news has a way of keeping you from doing the things you need and leading to unhealthy situations. Feeling sorry for yourself will only worsen the situation. Get up, dust yourself off, and take advantage of the opportunity.

What Will I Do in My Outhouse After My Newspaper's Gone?

Deborah Ng — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 13:23:09 +0000

Ever wonder about life without newspapers?

Off Topic Rant: If I Wasn't So Politically Correct:

Deborah Ng — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 20:34:10 +0000

by Deb Ng ..I'd tell that really cheap person in front of me at the supermarket check out to please stop analyzing all 500 items on her receipt and holding up the damn line. If you think your grocery total is a penny or two off, step aside and do what you have to do. To hold up the entire line so you can compare everything on your gargantuan receipt to supermarket sales flyer is just rude and inconsiderate. It's bad enough you decided to wait until after you loaded up the conveyor belt to look through your massive coupon pouch, only to have a hissy fit when the frustrated cashier handed back half for being expired. And it was bad enough for you to have her stop and read items and prices back as she went along, even though you bloody well memorized prices before you even left your house for the store. And it was bad enough you stopped your cart in the middle of the aisle to read the sales flyer, even though you receive it at home too. And it's bad enough you stroll through the aisle yacking as loud as you can on your cell phone so everyone in the world knows you're a chronic malcontent. Is it really necessary to hold up a line of people on a Saturday afternoon because you have to go over every single item on your receipt to make sure the proper discount was applied? Look lady. I'm a tightwad too. I'll go five miles away if the price of tuna is low enough, but that's where our similarities end. My coupons are ready to go before I leave my house. My shopping list has already has the sales items listed, so there's no need to hold everyone up. Also? if I check my receipt I do so at home or in the car, because Saturdays are busy at the supermarket and people want to get out and spend time with their families. Be cheap if you want to, but stop making everyone have to wait while pinch your pennies. Step aside. Check your damn receipt, and if there's a problem get back in line. The world doesn't stop revolving just because you may or may not have been over charged by twelve cents. That is all.

Why Customer Loyalty is So Important

Deborah Ng — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 11:26:15 +0000

I'll say it again. There is no secret to freelance writing success. You work hard, turn in clean copy, rock the communication and you'll do well. It's the folks that are only going through the motions that seem to struggle.Even though the above-mentioned items are important, I one thing I learned over the last decade is that clients appreciate loyalty more than anything you have to offer. I'm going to use Jodee as a case in point. We began working together two years ago after I posted an ad at the WAHM forum. Since hiring Jodee she's been a dream freelancer. She works hard, meets her deadlines, turns in nothing but the best work, communicates well and is someone I'm proud to call friend. Jodee even checked with me a couple of times before taking on tasks she considered a conflict of interest and to me, that spoke volumes. In return, I offer Jodee first shot at any writing job I have, offer recommendations to her potential clients and refer her to some great clients. In fact, when I left the world of freelancing to be a full time Community Manager, I recommended Jodee to replace me with my highest paying client and he continues to keep her busy and well paid. Here's a discussion topic for you, FWJ community. What are some of the ways you are loyal to your clients? How do you show them you care about them and their projects and what do they do to reward your loyalty? Discuss...

FWJ Community Writing Project: The FWJ Comment Story

Deborah Ng — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 01:34:59 +0000

It was a dark and stormy night. She was home alone, but she liked it that way. She found the commotion outside rather comforting and snuggled up on the couch by the window to watch the thunder and lightning rage outside her window. The flashes of lighting always revealed something new: a passing car, a deer... and...why, that's odd...is that a... Your turn... I'd like to invite the members of the FWJ community to continue adding a paragraph in the comments until our story is done. Tag...you're it!

Kick Ass Copywriting in 10 Easy Steps

Deborah Ng — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 12:29:14 +0000

I'm not just a fan of Susan Gunelius because she's a terrific writer or that she replaced me when I gave up my gig with About.com Weblogs. I'm a fan of Susan because she knows her stuff and is generous when it comes to dispensing advice. I have a confession to make, however. I've been remiss in reviewing her awesome book Kick-ass Copywriting in 10 Easy Steps: Build the Buzz and Sell the Sizzle. It's not that I didn't want to review this book, only that I have stacks of books to review, and so little time to do so. Don't do as I do, though. If there's one book to buy for your writing resource arsenal this year, Kick-Ass Copywriting is it. Go ahead, order. I'll wait. I even provided the link to save time. Kick-Ass Copywriting had me at "hello". The thoughtful foreward is written by none other than the CopyBlogger himself, Brian Clark. The rest of the book provides practical advice in a format that is easy to follow and not intimidating in the least. Just a quick browse of the chapters is intriguing:

Don't Be Intimidated by Copywriting - Be Insipired!
Get Organized with the Copywriting Outline
Exploit Your Product's Benefits
Exploit Your Competition's Weaknesses
Know Your Audience
Communicate W.I.I.F.M (What's In It For Me?)
Focus on the "You" not "Me"

And it goes on for 11 more chapters all offering the reader inspiration and an urge to go out and look into the copywriting thing. Susan's book is probably the best book I've read on this topic thus far. She writes for you and me - and explains what we need to know in a pleasant, easy to read manner. Susan doesn't talk down to us in the least, however. It's like she's giving a lesson over a cup of coffee. Here's the thing...at FWJ one of the questions that is asked the most often is, "how do I get out of this low paying rut?" Susan has your answer right here. There's writing beyond web content. If you want to be paid handsomely for your efforts, you have to put in the time. Your writing has to dazzle. Kick-Ass Copywriting gives you the tools and motivation you need to succeed. Now, Susan can't hold your hand but her book gives insight into a form of writing most web writers don't even think about. Read the book, then go out and do us proud.

Win a Copy of "Kick Ass Copywriting in 10 Easy Steps"

Deborah Ng — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 10:20:30 +0000

The other day, I reviewed a copy of "Kick-Ass Copywriting in 10 Easy Steps." I recommend the book because I feel it will empower many writers to get out of the low paying freelance writing rut. In fact, we're going to have a contest to help us do just that. Author Susan Guenelius has generously offered a signed copy of her book to give to a lucky member of the FWJ community. Could that be you? For the next week, I'd like you to discuss ways to get out of the low paying freelance writing rut. In fact, I want to know how YOU plan on doing so. Write a blog post, record a video, sing a song, start a forum topic, offer a tweet... do something creative to discuss with me, and others, how you can change your current situation and find higher paying opportunities. Then come back and post the link here in the comments so we can all see it. The contest ends a week from today, Wednesday April 8th, at 11:59 p.m. Good luck, and I can't wait to see how you're going to break out of the freelance writing rut.

Top 10 Freelance Writing Job Application Mistakes

Deborah Ng — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:40:00 +0000

I started freelance writing and blogging (though we didn't call it that back then) in 2000. Which means, I 've been doing this for close to a decade. In the time I've been online, I've seen it all. I've hired writers, worked for people who hired writers, and even critiqued resumes and cover letters for the folks who want to be hired by the people who hire writers. In short, I've seen it all. Now, I don't claim to be an expert because I think the freelance writing world is currently evolving, but I'm confident I can compare awesome freelance writing job applications to some real clunkers. With that in mind I give you:

Top 10 Freelance Writing Job Application Mistakes

1. Not Proofreading: It should go without saying that any one seeking any job opportunity should proofread cover letters, resumes and writing samples not just once, but twice, thrice and however many more times to ensure there are no errors. If you need a second pair of eyes to go over your paperwork, ask a friend to help out. 2. Not Enough Information: I can't tell you how many times I received cover letters saying only "My resume is attached", "My experience speaks for itself", and even "Google Me". Don't be that guy. You don't want to rehash your resume but you don't want your potential client to wonder who you are and why he should hire you either. Your cover letter, which is really your job application, should briefly touch on your career as well as a paragraph telling the employer why you're the best candidate for the job. 3. Too Much Information: Even though you may be going for the sympathy vote, your client doesn't need to know that you're a work at home mom with eight kids or that you were just laid off from your job. The information on your introductory letter should be relevant to the job only. Your home situation could work against you. For instance, if you are a work at home mom with eight kids, your employer might feel your family will be too distracting for you to complete the task to the best of your ability. 4. Poor Writing Samples: Like your resume and cover letter, your writing samples have to be well written and proofread to the nth degree, but that's not enough. Anyone can submit a typo free article.Your writing samples have to be the best of the bunch. They have to convince the employer you're the best person for the job. They should be relevant to the subject matter and engaging. There should be no doubt in the client's mind that you are the person for the job. 5. Unqualified for the Opportunity: Don't apply for a job as a pet expert if you know nothing about animals. Don't apply for a job as a sports writer if you hate sports. Don't apply for a job as a grant writer if you have no clue as to how to go about getting one. You're wasting your time and your client's. If you have no passion for a topic it shows. Your client asked for experts for a reason. 6. Not Following Directions: Did the employer ask specific questions? It means she wants to know the answers to those questions before hiring you. Did the employer ask for a rate quote? It may mean she has no idea of the going rate and would like some guidance. Clients are frustrated when they put specific information in a job ad and receive application where it's obvious the freelancer didn't read the ad at all. If you can't follow the instructions in a job ad, how can you be trusted to follow the client's wishes for a project? 7. Not Doing Research: If a job ad mentions the name of the business or website, do some research. Learn about your client. Knowing about who he is or what he does will help you to tailor your details to suit his needs. Perhaps he just places an ad looking for a "green writer". That's pretty broad. By reading his website you might learn he sells environmentally safe products and wishes to stock his website with articles relating to green cleaning. Now you can submit writing samples befitting the website's content or message. If the ad gives you enough to go on, always take the time to learn about your potential client. 8. Cookie Cutter Cover Letter: Employers hate receiving cookie cutter cover letters. They want to see your personality. They want to learn about you and why you're the right fit for the job. You can have a standard template, sure, but no two job ads are the same. With that in mind it should to without saying that you should tailor your application to meet each individual client's needs. 9. Lack of Follow Up: So you sent in your details, now what? You wait. And then...what happens? What happens if your email went into the spam filter? What happens if your details were saved but then fell between the cracks? There is nothing wrong with following up once. Just a simple note letting them know you're still interested in the opportunity if its still available, and if not you would appreciate it if they could keep your name on file. Sometimes following up shows a client you're ambitious and really into the gig. It could put you at the top of the list. 10. Lack of Confidence - The words "I think..." have no business being on a cover letter. You think you're the right person for the job, or you feel or believe you're the right person for the job? There's a big difference, there. Make no mistake about your ability and your potential client won't either! Search for jobs in your area on SnagAJob.com

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The Difference Between an Internship and Unpaid Labor

Deborah Ng — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 11:59:26 +0000

Discussing interns and internships are what I consider an "annual" topic. Every year at about this time we talk about interns, or rather, the folks who like to present a job as an internship in order to get away with hiring free labor. So let's talk about what internships are, why they are necessary and why they are not free labor. What is an internship? An internship is a job one takes, usually working for a business, corporation or the government, in order to gain experience, build up a reputation and learn from the best. The focus is on the job training, rather than monetary compensation. Most interns are in college and work in this capacity in hopes of having a very good job lined up upon graduation. What are the benefits of working as an intern? In addition to the aforementioned on the job training, many interns can earn college credits, a small stipend, important business contacts, the promise of employment and references. In short, the ability to advance their careers. Interns don't work for free. They gain something valuable in return. Why do so many jobs offer internships, when they're not offering anything in return? Because these so-called employers feel that by offering a non-paying job as an internship rather than what it really is - getting something for nothing - they'll look less like an ass. "Working as an intern" sounds a lot better than "working for free", doesn't it? Questions to ask when applying for an internship A job churning out web content from home all day every day, for an employer you contact once a week via email, isn't an internship. Other than turning you off from writing as career, what can it possibly offer in return? Before you accept an internship, ask the following questions:

What will I gain from the experience?
How will it benefit my career?
What kind of on the job training will I receive?
Will I receive college credit?
Will I receive the promise of a full time, salaried position after I graduate?
Will you act as a mentor and offer me guidance?
Will you introduce me to others who can act as mentors and offer guidance?
Are these clowns just looking to get free labor?

If you browse Craigslist, you'll find plenty of opportunities for interns, but many of these jobs aren't. Remember, internships offer something in return. Job experience is more than writing web content. A true internship will attempt to teach you all you need to know about your chosen profession or major. A true internship works in conjunction with your school so you earn college credits and recognition for your efforts. Before accepting an internship, research the opportunity thorougly. If it sounds like someone trying to get a whole lot of something for a whole lot of nothing, pass.

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Join the New Freelance Writing Jobs Social Network

Deborah Ng — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:02:46 +0000

Want to socialize with others from the Freelance Writing Jobs community? Join the brand new Freelance Writing Jobs social network on Ning. The benefits abound:

Share tips and ideas with other members of the FWJ community
Post your own (non spammy) blog post
Discuss issues in the forum
Share images, videos, podcasts and more
Receive alerts to what this blog network is up to, as well as what the other members of the FWJ community are doing
Network with other like-minded people

FWJ also has a Twitter presence. You can follow me @debng or to receive updates everytime there's a new post at the Freelance Writing jobs blog network, follow @freelancewj. Have a great day!

How to Find Freelance Writing Jobs

Deborah Ng — Sun, 03 May 2009 12:46:06 +0000

I found this today while I was browsing YouTube. It was created by the folks behind Daily Writing Jobs, and I find it very useful, especially for beginners. The "Write for Us" tip worked for me several years ago. Hope it works for you too!

tap, tap Is this thing on?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:00:09 +0000

Oh my gosh, you guys. I had the most self-congratulatory dream where I beat out something like 500 people to get a high-profile blogging gig on—get this—Freelance Writing Jobs. Like that would ever really happ…Wait just a cotton-pickin’ second! I am writing at FWJ. I’m on Deb-freaking-Ng’s team. There’s Jodee and Tereese, and…uh-oh, James.* Nah, really. I’m pretty stoked to be here. I’m more than a little nervous, though, after all the hype around getting hired. Everyone’s been talking about how I’m so hilarious and all, and I’m just sitting here with a towel in one hand thanking the gods that you can’t see flop sweat through your monitor. I’m all worried that now that you folks have been told that I’m Tropic Thunder funny, and I might only be able to give you Good Morning, Vietnam funny. Don’t get me wrong, GM,V was still fun and entertaining; but if you went into it just expecting Robin Williams to do funny voices, then you might have been a little bummed out by the sad Vietnamese people and the scared GIs. Now that I think about it, it’s an awful lot of pressure you people are putting on me already. I mean, I just got here and you all are expecting giggles and snorts right off the bat, aren’t you? My hope is that you at least get a titter or, at best, a chuckle today; and we’ll let the thigh-slapping guffaws happen naturally as time goes by.** My goal for this blog is super simple. I want it to be a place where writers can go for a distraction that is still writing-related. We all know how much of our work time gets eaten up while puttering around on the Internet, so I’m planning to use diversionary tactics that slide in just below the guilt threshold. Sometimes I’ll link you to fun things that you just HAVE to see (it’s writing-related, after all) and other times I’ll most likely rant about my Crazy Client in Arkansas.* * * I actually have quite a few ideas in mind, and some of them are fairly interactive, so I hope there are freelance writers out there who want to get involved. If you have any ideas or suggestions, feel free to send them to me at lornadoone (at) berrybrewer (dot) com. Funny links, article ideas, whatever you can think of that you want to share…send it my way, and maybe you’ll see it featured here. So, thanks so much to the FWJ team for inviting me into the fold. I’m excited to get started. I do want to warn you that I’ll be out of town for the first week of July with very little Internet access, so if I don’t respond to your comments right away, it’s not because I’m all full of myself now that I’ve got this prestigious blogging gig. It’s because my in-laws live in the Tooleyberries. Also, now that I've set your expectations for me at a ridiculously low level, I'd like to welcome to Simon, who will be adding his own brand of humor to the blog. I’m glad to have the company, and I don’t mind telling you all that I hear he’s Tropic Thunder funny. * Guess it’s not really a dream, after all. ** Who am I kidding? With this kind of pressure, I’m going to call it a win if your facial expression changes at all while you’re reading this. ***OK, see, I’m lying already. I don’t have a Crazy Client in Arkansas. I do, however, have a Crazy Client; and I feel like less of a scumball if I pretend he lives somewhere else while I talk about him. ‘Cause, you know, if he ever comes across this blog, he totally won’t be able to figure out that I’m talking about him. "Hey, I made her do 57 revisions and expected her to read my mind...oh, wait, I don't live in in Arkansas. Whew!"

An Intriguing Lead - Drug Kingpin Seeks Ghost Writer

Simon James — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:16:55 +0000

Hello all, will introduce myself fully very soon but Deb sent me this over and I had to share it before it gets pulled by Craigslist. Happy Wednesday to you all.

Ex N. Idaho Drug Kingpin Needs Writer (Financial District)
Writer Wanted For Ex North Idaho Drug Kingpin: Looking for someone to write life story, unique story, unique Individual. Story consists of dealings with Colombians,Cubans, Mexican Federallies, 16 years in prison hanging out with mafia members from the Phildelphia Scarfo gang, Charlie Iannache, Anthony Pungitore, Gene Gotti-brother of John Gotti of the New York Mafia, being successful jail house lawyer. Story begins with the consequences for a boy with a gifted IQ who deals with uniagnosed ADHD and the path he takes in life through taking over the underbelly of the drug world,prison,self inflicted extrodinary rehabilitation efforts to his succesfull entrance back into society. This isnt some run of the mill drug dealer story! I SHOULD BE DEAD A HUNDRED TIMES OVER. GOD HAD HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER TO GET THROUGH IT. ps: All Statue of Limitations are finished and all prison time completed. The story just needs to be told by a gifted writer. TO SEE 6 PAGE SYNOPSIS GO TO: http://bobbyconvict.blogspot.com If interested, please submit writing proposal/compensation plans. I would prefer to give the writer a portion of proceeds, but would pay the right writer to do the story. Follow up to the book would be self help videos/books for children-parents-educators-inmates to not go down the path I took, or to change an inmates life through education. please email me at: write4me87@yahoo.com

Write or Die Application

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:00:41 +0000

OK, so the video itself isn't acutally funny, but it does introduce you to a pretty interesting application for writers. The idea is that it encourages you to keep writing by offering varying levels of negative consequences if you don't. The kamikazee setting is pretty intense! If any of you decide to use the application, I definitely want to hear what you think. Unless you just have that peanut butter and jelly song stuck in your head. In that case, you are kindly asked to keep it to yourself.

Freelance Friday Quote

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:29:37 +0000

This is one of those "it's funny 'cause it's true" things: "The freelance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps." -Robert Benchley Now that I think about it, maybe that's not funny at all...

My Pitch

Simon James — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:14:50 +0000

Good day to you all and welcome to my first real post. Thank you for the messages of welcome and good luck, it was very much appreciated and immediately made me feel part of this fine community. However, to all of you that didn't wish me well, I ask you all in turn, why do you hate me already? I am a very fragile person and prone to spilling out my insecurities and personality disorders directly onto the page. If you don't automatically love me and my writing I am liable to write great screeds of self loathing, angst ridden poerty that isn't funny at all and then it's only you, lovely reader, that will suffer. And besides, there's plenty of time for building up an informed and deep seated resentment of me once you know me a little better! Only kidding, I promise no poetry. Not even a limerick. I do not promise no literary breakdowns however, that will probably happen at some point. Anyhoo, in Deb's annoucement post she mentions a pitch letter I sent to her to try and secure the advertised position of 'Humorous Blogger'. I had remembered the University application letter of a Scottish person in regards to his entrance consideration and thought it the ideal format for an application. Whereas his was basically a stream of conciousness of the surreal made-up things he had done (precision tennis raquet throwing, speed tromboning and the like), all mine are based in fact and have a personal, sketchy origin. I hope it goes someway to introducing me and I guess, in a strange way, it's my pitch to you as well.

Hello Deborah, I am replying to your search for a humorous blogger for the originally fun intended 'Freelance Writing Jobs' blog. As you stated in your ad, I would like to help you bring the funny back. I believe I fit your requirements for a number of reasons. I have written for a number of blogs (Londonist, The Offside, AmChron etc.) and been generally well received as a funny writer but the remit has always been a little narrow and unrepresentative of my true passions; Comedy and Writing. I would love to write about the strange foibles of writers and their routines (i.e. WH Auden was effectively drugged up his entire writing life!), odd writing tips (i.e. slip the key under the door after you've locked yourself in to your writing space, hope someone finds you), quirky popular genres (Star Trek Erotic Fan Fiction focussing on Kirk and Spock's romance) etc. etc. ad infinitum. At this point, I presume, you may like some more information about me. Well, I am British (Welsh actually), lofty, less than dynamic and I am often seen staring at ornate houses or making strong Gin Martinis and Rum Sours. My past is not chequered but I have failed as a soccer player, a paper boy, a charity worker and a wine waiter. All still haunt me. I am trying to write books, situation comedies, stand-up routines, articles, blogs, scriptures, missives and sometimes humorous emails. I manage time relatively efficiently and I can tread water but distance swimming is a problem due to poor coaching as a boy. I have been able to ride a bike for many years now, a skill that gives me a sense of tremendous well-being but I remain fearful of its awesome power. I curse openly, freely, sometimes loudly, but always heartily and with the best intentions, much like a pirate I'd imagine. Effing and jeffing, as it is sometimes known here, is recognised as a skill, right or wrong; and I am seen as more of a man by some and as a slob and illiterate by others. The latter are correct but both, in all senses, fascinate me. At times I have displayed astounding catching skills and cat-like reactions, at other times clumsiness beyond conventional physical understanding. I am able to play no musical instruments but can recognise 95% of them by sight alone. I am an efficient climber of trees. I like to cook and regularly ignore cooking times and chopping instructions. I would be considered a maverick in the rigid and conforming hospitality student circles. I do not have criminal record, nor do I want one, thank you. I like to think of myself of a protector of the people but would be considered a coward and a blaggard by those same people if I ever stated my view. I can twirl a staff like a Kung Fu expert but however impressive it looks I have painfully found out it is not an essential life skill. Ants astound me as they are organised enough to have possess armies (which is as unsettling as it is impressive). Armadillos strike me as nice guys, bears as misunderstood and jelly fish as just downright irresponsible. Dogs and children trust me, cats respect me and monkeys are strangely calm around me. I believe they sense my acceptance of our shared ancestry. Constant exposure to the radiation of the Sun has not facilitated any superpowers (except the ability to find the perfect name for things, I am currently sitting on Lenny the leather chair) but may have contributed to my loftiness. I can hit many objects with sticks and bats to an advanced level. I can throw. I like shopping. I balance, I duck and weave, I dodge, I frolic, I gambol, I skip, I dance the funky chicken (badly) and pay my bills on time. Long phone calls make my ear go uncomfortably hot. I have a fair idea where Elvis is. I hope this gives you a view of my mark as a writer. Kind Regards, Simon J. James

The Most Powerful New Tool for Online Research

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 06:00:09 +0000

As a freelance writer, I find myself being asked to research all sorts of topics for my clients. I could tell you more about how prison tattoos are inked than you would probably ever want to know, for example. Sometimes it just blows my mind that I get paid good money to do what I do. After all, with the Internet so easily at our disposal, writers barely even have to set foot in a library anymore. That’s why I really hope that my clients don’t find out about this new website I’ve been using to research their topics. If they did, then I fear I may be out of a job. It’s called “Let Me Google That for You,” (www.lmgtfy.com), and if word gets out, all of us freelance writers could be in for a world of hurt. I mean, if our clients were to discover that they could look things up for themselves, then where’s their incentive to hire us to do it for them? I’m especially worried because a lot of the clients I’ve worked with wouldn’t necessarily know good writing if it snuck up and bit them. Why, they might copy and paste someone else’s material, or—worse yet—try to write it themselves. The very idea makes me shudder. Let Me Google That For You doesn’t just put our jobs at risk, either. My husband, for example, is in IT, and if his clients were to realize that they could simply look up the answers to their questions without dragging him away from his work to do a Google search for them, there could be some pretty drastic consequences. His work productivity would go up, his clients’ work productivity would go up, and the next thing you know, everyone would be meeting deadlines and enjoying their weekends. Considering the fact that he’s a State employee, that kind of situation would just be unacceptable. So, freelancers, I’m happy to share this incredible research tool with you, but please be careful not to let the URL fall into the wrong hands. Also, if you’re looking for just the right imagery in your next prison tat, drop me a line, ‘cause I can totally help you out with that.

How're We Doing? Please Take Our Survey

Deborah Ng — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:15:35 +0000

Hi friends of the Freelance Writing Jobs blog network. In order to make FWJ a more pleasant, user friendly and informative experience, we need to periodically gauge our readers' opinions. I hope you don't mind taking a couple of minutes out of your busy schedule and taking our brief survey. It's all anonymous, we're not collecting names. By filling it out it will let us know a little about your habits and your thoughts about this network. Click Here to take survey Thanks, once again, for your continued support. Thank you so much for your time! - Deb

Google Stuff with Bing

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:01:44 +0000

When you have a cut, do you go looking for a Band-Aid, or an “adhesive bandage?” Dealing with diaper rash? You’re probably going through the bathroom looking for Vaseline, rather than “petroleum jelly,” right? When your nose is running, I bet you’re more likely to ask for a Kleenex than a “facial tissue.” (By the way, you’re a real wreck right now and might want to make an appointment with your doctor…I’m just sayin’.”) Anyway, there are a whole lot of brands names that seem almost more common than the actual item they represent. Heck, I hear that in the South, they call all soda pop “Coke!” That seems to also be the case with online searches. Yesterday's post took a look at how our freelancing jobs may be in mortal peril should our clients discover Let Me Google That for You, and it made me realize how common it is for us to use the word “Google” as a verb. (See, I mentioned a part of speech…this post is now officially writing-related and therefore is guilt-free and NOT procrastination.) Someone has realized that the ubiquitous use of the term “Google” may be somewhat detrimental to the newly-released Microsoft search engine called “Bing.” Check out this video at CollegeHumor.com to see what would happen if Bing used the word “Google” the way the rest of us do.

Freelance Friday Quote

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:00:13 +0000

Why is reality always such a paradox? "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." -Tom Clancy

Worst. Client. Ever.

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:16:50 +0000

We’ve all had those incredibly picky clients, right? I warned you before that I'd be whining about my guy in Arkansas who seems to think I should just be able to read his mind when I work on his projects. I tried to “fire” him one time, saying (very cleverly, I thought) that we seem to have different communication styles and that I really wanted his project to turn out well, so maybe a different writer might be in order. I will admit that this is after I had already cried, kicked, and screamed in my office two separate times over his projects. No dice. Because I’m just such a nice person (or a “sucker,” if you prefer), I gave in to his wheedling and begging and did actually finish the project. Of course, he was thrilled with the final results and thought I was just the best thing since sliced bread. I just had another conversation with Mr. Arkansas yesterday. You know your insecurities have made an impression when your client is saying things like, “I knew you could do it!” I felt a bit like a grade schooler who, after always being picked last for sports, just made her first ever soccer goal. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t worried that I could do it, I was more concerned that I might end up crawling down the phone line and throttling him before the project was concluded. I recently came across an email online that makes me all of a sudden feel like Mr. Arkansas is a dream! Can you imagine working for this lady? (Seriously, follow that link. It’s the funniest thing you’ll read all day.) This brings me to my final point. I’d love to hear about your worst-ever client experiences. Email them to me at lornadoone (at) berrybrewer (dot) com, and I’ll pick some of the best to share here. Don’t worry, I’ll strip out any information that might reveal the guilty party! Come on, hit me with your horror stories of deadlines, revisions, and communication breakdowns.

Freelance Friday Quote

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 06:00:44 +0000

Ah, the joy of working with editors: "I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87." -Steve Martin

What Are Your Ambitions?

Simon James — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:41:33 +0000

Can you remember the point in your life when you thought, “I want to make a living from writing”? Whether it be paid blogger, an article writer, a journalist, a novelist or screenplay writer; was there an actual clear as a bell lightning strike from the creative heavens? It’s difficult not romanticise yourself gently placing down your finished copy of ‘The Great Gatsby’ and staring off toward the setting sun, breathing the words, “I hear your words Mr Fitzgerald and I answer your call. I will take up your mantle and write the next great American novel.” When your realisations set in, what were your original ambitions? A best selling novel? A blog followed by tens of thousands? A syndicated column in the New York Times? Money? Personally, when I realised I wanted to make a living from writing I envisaged myself, within a matter of months, regaling the New York literati with heady tales of teenage life in South Wales. I actually imagined myself chatting with the author of Catch 22, “Oh yes, Joseph Heller, you could say that times were moving fast and urgent decisions were to be made. The lure of literature was too strong, I had to succumb to my muse. I didn’t write this book/article/blog post, it demanded to be channelled.” The reality, unfortunately, is probably a lot more mundane. You’d probably just finished an average novel with a poor, rushed ending whilst on your third glass of wine and tossed the tome casually to one side cursing the time you had wasted on it. Or maybe you went slightly crazy over the grammatical errors in a three thousand circulation free ad newspaper. You maybe considered sending a four page letter cataloguing the myriad apostrophe catastrophes throughout the rag then shouted to the heavens, “GOOD GOD! I could do so much better than that. You know what, I am going to start a blog, TONIGHT.” Of course, now the ambition touch paper had been lit and you now have the obsessive compulsion to began scribbling down your observations and thoughts on every scribeable surface and then storing them in the least obvious places imaginable. For example, you wake up on an idle Tuesday and decide to post a blog entry. But wait, where are those dialog sections I transcribed from memory in the toilet of a Gas Station? Oh yes, I wrote it in nail varnish on a napkin and put in my sock. And where are the notes from my chance meeting with Robert Downey Junior in a hot air balloon over the Serengheti? Oh yes, they’re in my impossibly complicated filing system that consists of a twenty seven shoe boxes at the bottom of my spare bedroom closet cross referenced by importance, saleability, cleverness, funniness and neatness of handwriting. Oh, and if you can’t find that one five line note that completes the masterpiece of your third personal blog post, your YouTube comments would become especially vitriolic that day. My own journey was a lot more simple. I was a pretentious teenager for all the wrong reasons. I had read a little Voltaire, a lot of Twain, loads of Shakespeare, a pinch of Heller, far too many trashy newspapers and watched too much TV to have a balanced view on reality. Also, I read a LOT of comics which obviously deeply affected my attitude toward every day situations. With these influences fuelling my somewhat erratic to approach toward my future intentions, I inwardly began to shape my destiny. Or destinies, I should say. At any one point in my younger days I imagined myself to be a professional Soccer Player, a TV and Film Actor / Director, a Model (that’s where my imagination really fooled me), an architect, a doctor, an Archeologist (thanks Indiana Jones), a Smuggler (and yes, thanks Han Solo) and a Journalist. And all this was before I had actually left my bedroom and ventured to my sanctuary, the library. As a teenager with too much time on his hands, varied and bizarre information sources equal unchecked ambition and rampant, misguided egomania. This was followed by the crushing realisation that you were not, in fact, superhuman but simply a teenage boy with a feverish imagination desperately in need of an outlet. So writing it was, and writing it remains. And whilst my ambitions have become certainly more tempered as the years have passed, my passion remains undimmed. As does my belief that one day I will discover my real superpower.

Big Brother Is Totally Watching You

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:19:06 +0000

My mom is a little suspicious of modern technology. In fact, she won’t use a loyalty card at the grocery store because she doesn’t want “them” to know what she’s buying. I have to admit, it is a little creepy when the cash register prints out coupons that are specifically geared to whatever the algorithm tells it you might want based on your current purchase of peach yogurt, motor oil, Scotch tape, six miniature bagels, and a greeting card. It does remind you that Big Brother is indeed watching. A whole bunch of Kindle owners felt Big Brother’s gaze fall on them recently when—I am not making this up—George Orwell’s 1984 and Animal Farm were deleted from their electronic readers. Apparently, Amazon discovered they didn’t actually have the rights to the works and rescinded them from their customer’s devices. For some reason, I always thought of the Kindle as being sort of a one-way device like one of those clocks that resets itself according to an atomic clock hidden in a secret bunker in Colorado. Sure, your friendly little clock on the nightstand occasionally sends in a request for the most precise approximation of Pacific Daylight Time, but the big, scary atomic guy on the other end isn’t going to sneak in through your wireless signal and reset your alarm or something. While some people are really up in arms about the legality of both sides of this, I have to worry about the "loner" who was reading 1984 for the 73rd time taking this as confirmation that his tinfoil hat has failed and "they" truly are reading his thoughts. While I will admit that having your books deleted is more than a little annoying, I suppose the bigger issue is probably about a great big entity going in and deciding what is and is not acceptable for the individual. There should be a word for that kind of thing. Like, we should find an author who wrote books about that topic and come up with a term based on his last name or something. ;-) (On the plus side, they could start offering coupons to those customers for Aldous Huxley's Brave New World...)

They're Talking About You Over There

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 10:43:20 +0000

I actually only “allow” one of my clients to be my friend on Facebook. I mean, I’m happy to have them follow me on Twitter (@berrybrewer, by the way) or to read this blog, but I tend to hold to the idea that Facebook friends should be, well, friends. I do have one exception, however. I’d like to say that it’s because this particular client is so awesome (he totally is, for your information) or because he was one of my first clients ever and so I made special dispensation, but the fact of the matter is that we friended each other before I made my stalwart decision to exclude those who don’t need to know that I’m having a mental breakdown at one a.m. because their project happens to be due the next morning. I am so glad that I made that exception, though, because his most recent status update introduced me to an awesome blog called Things White People Like. As a lily-white, college-educated American woman who likes to use big words ("sanctimonious" comes to mind, for example), some of the posts there hit a little too close to home. When I came across this one, though, I thought of you. While I don’t actually own a Moleskine notebook, I’ve certainly been known to pack around my “great ideas” notebooks…in addition to my laptop. I’m curious if any of the rest of you cringe just a tad when you read it.

The Glamorous Life of the Freelance Writer

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:29:27 +0000

Let me set the scene for you: It’s currently 12:48 a.m. I’m sitting in a dark living room with the ‘80s Hits station playing retro music, a sleeping baby on the couch next to me, and I’m hunched over a glowing computer screen working on what had better be my final project of the day. When I started freelancing, I was excited about all the new possibilities my chosen profession was sure to bring. While I was pretty sure that it wouldn’t be glamorous, I somehow didn’t envision listening to The Cutting Crew singing “(I Just) Died in Your Arms” while I balanced my laptop on a Boppy pillow and cringed every time a dog barked for fear my toddler would awake and demand to be nursed back to sleep while my deadlines slipped by. It’s actually pretty amazing how much parenthood informs my freelance writing business. I was elated when my daughter finally learned to nap without being held, because it meant I could sneak in a couple of extra SEO articles a day. That joy was dashed when she went from two naps a day to only one. I'm still grieving the loss of the morning nap. Even my work environment is arranged around the baby’s needs. Believe me, I’m not sitting here in the dark as Cher laments her inability to turn back time because it’s part of my “process.” In reality, the music helps keep the little one asleep, and turning on the lights would obviously result in a less-than-productive environment when she started wailing from the inconvenience. Heck, I’m actually a little chilly, but I can’t turn off the air conditioner because it’s providing the oh-so-important white noise that makes this late-night writing possible. I’m even half afraid to get up at the moment for fear of tripping in the dark over Curios George, a sippy cup, or a copy of Hop on Pop. It’s not my safety I’m taking into consideration, mind you, but the fact that stepping on one rogue peg puzzle piece will cause me to yelp and thereby wake Sleeping Beauty. Don’t get the idea that I’m complaining, though, because I am definitely not. I chose this career for exactly this reason. I make my own hours (even if they do end up being at one o’clock in the morning sometimes) so that I can be with my sweet girl. I didn’t have to ask a boss for time off to take her to her 18-month well-baby visit today; I just did it. Any time I want to, I can ask her what the rooster says (“er-er”) or to hug me tight. Like Bobby Brown says: It’s my prerogative.

Where does Inspiration come from?

Simon James — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 11:53:19 +0000

OK, so now you have your ambition and a clear idea of what you want to write and why you want to write it. You also have in mind what that success is going to look like; be it money, prestige, intellectual plaudits or even becoming attractive, you know know what it is you want. And now you want your writing to take you there. So, you sit at your keyboard with an expectant grin and and a heart full of hope and you begin typing. Then you stop. Then you start again for a while and then you stop again. Then you realise it’s a little harder than it looks. Then you look out of the window and there’s a dog rolling on it’s back, but wait that lawn sprinkler might get him, yes it’s… Damn it! You’ve just spent 20 minutes looking out of the window, you HAVE to get back to it. So then, what is your inspiration? Where does this story / book / post / article / tweet have it’s origins? What is it that made me think I could just spew out a few thousand words just by sitting in front of a computer and idly typing. Where do I start? A ha! My notes! My fabulous notes! This is where inspiration is stored when you’re out and about, or cooking dinner for the multitudes and this where the seedlings of my mighty oaks have been sown. So you look back at your notes and you have things written like, “Could an old woman really live in a shoe?” and “Would an Irish Setter have an Irish accent if it could speak?” Hmm, not exactly the seeds of ‘Catcher in the Rye’. Many writers over the years have despaired over the lost notes, the forgotten inspiration that would have been their masterpiece. Hunter S. Thompson documents the flip-side of this when he awakens from one of his archetypal stuporous episodes and reads through his notes that he had taken following a mescaline, booze and acid fuelled night. “Kill the mind and the body will follow” he darkly muses, what could this mean? He never found out and one can only wonder at the magnificence of the scribbling that never even made it through his weird and twisted nights. This goes to show that inspiration can strike at any point and you should be ever ready, ever vigilant. Your notebook or note taking device should never be more than a reach away. The snatched conversations you hear at lunch could be the missing dialogue you’ve been waiting for for the last year. The idle, lazy advertising copy that you hypnotically stare at on the train could be the words that inspire your first viral post. The fortune cookie could be the first line of the book that features on Oprah’s reading list. And why is this so? It’s because inspiration comes not only from the big things it comes form the mundane, the revolting, the sick, the striking, the offensive, the weird, the unexpected, the lethargic, the, well, anything. What is it that the cartoon characters on the cereal box say? What did your first child unexpectedly say as he toddled off to school? What does the guy in the traffic jam look like and what is he saying in the protracted phone call he seems to be having? And why is that woman running and laughing through the rain when she clearly isn’t dressed for it? When I realised that the inspiration for what I wanted to write was going to come from the things that were happening around me, the things I noticed and the experiences that I had, I kind of ‘switched on’. Suddenly I started to notice the most bizarre things like the nervousness of commuters around pigeons and the choatic effect that a sudden downpour will have on the unsuspecting (it’s great, it’s like someone shouted ‘INCOMING!’) Life, no matter how mundane it may seem is full of the intricacies, and it is here that you will find gold. Here is a quick example of charming dialogue. This is a verbatim conversation I heard between two cleaners. The first cleaner was a young English girl with a slow London accent that sounded like she was considering every word as it left her mouth. I’m being slightly charitable as she was obviously quite dim. The other cleaner was a bored and disinterested Polish girl probably wondering why she was not using her degree in Astrophysics.

English Cleaner: “There’s a shop in Isleworth that sells nothing but Polish goods you know.” Polish Cleaner (very disinterested): “Oh. Really?” EC: “Yeah.” There was a VERY LONG PAUSE and then she said, “Devon is the best place in Britain to buy Cheese. There’s LOADS of farmland there so it’s very pure.” PC: “Oh.” EC: “I don’t like MANY cheeses, but I do like Cheddar, our National cheese, and Philadelphia.” PC: “Yes?” EC: “They brought cheeses from around the World to my school once and there’s this one cheese that has GREEN bits in it!” PC: “Green?” EC: “YEAH! I refused to eat it. I do like Cheddar though as it is, as I say, our National cheese.” PC: “Yes.”

I was furiously writing this down as I listened from my workdesk whilst almost crying with laughter. Mundane? Yes, probably. The start of an Alan Bennett screenplay, who knows?

Do You Earn a Full-Time Income from Home?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:47:11 +0000

I’m writing today because of a comment left here by Carol Tice. First of all, I’d like to thank her and everyone else who has been commenting on and Tweeting my posts, as my self-esteem and self-worth are directly related to these things. ;-) Carol wrote (albeit, to Deb) in response to The Glamorous Life of the Freelance Writer: “I think you need to raise your rates…you’re always blogging about your insanely long hours. I have 3 kids and I work about 30 hours a week and make a very fulltime living, mostly just during their school hours. Remember, one day that afternoon nap will be gone too…you need to work smarter!” This has left me pondering the phrase “full-time income” for the past several days. How many work from home scams opportunities have you seen advertised that promise you’ll earn a full-time income for a few hours’ worth of work? Not only that, but I’ve noticed that tons of freelance writers talk about whether or not they earn a full-time income from home. (Ha, ha. I just realize that I’ve accidentally optimized this post for the phrase “earn a full-time income.” I guess that’s just an occupational hazard for someone who writes as much SEO stuff as I do.) That led me to question what exactly constitutes a full-time income. My husband was less than helpful when I posed the question to him answering, “Well, I guess everyone would have a different answer.” Oh, how enlightening, Dear. I figure there must be some kind of benchmark, since so many freelancers and work from home types are basing their decision to leave their “real world” jobs on this mysterious number. I currently work from home in Washington State, where the minimum wage is (I believe) the highest in the nation at $8.55 per hour. That means that the minimum “full-time income” earned in Washington would be $17,784 per year, $1,482 per month, $342.00 per week, or $68.40 per day. This is based on a five-day week at forty hours and is figured without withholding any taxes or social security. Of course, many of us would expect to make more than minimum wage. Personally, I have a Bachelor’s Degree and a Master’s Degree, which theoretically means that I should have a “professional” job that pays more, right? Does that mean that a full-time income is really higher than that $1,482 per month? What if lived in Kansas where the minimum wage is—get this—$2.65 per hour? (It’s supposed to go up to $7.25 next year.) In that case, $459.33 monthly would mean I could earn a full-time income from home. Of course, I’d quickly lose that home to foreclosure. Remember how I said that my self-worth is based on the comments and Tweets I receive? This is where I slyly ask for your opinion so you’ll interact with me and validate my existence. Actually, I am really interested in what you all think. What constitutes a full-time income, in your opinion?

obsessedobsessedobsessedobsessedobsessed

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:46:13 +0000

I’ve mentioned before that I’m often up late at night working on projects. While I generally don’t like to have any distractions when I write, there are other aspects of running a freelance agency that require time, but let’s just say I they’re not rocket surgery. In other words, they don’t take 100% concentration. These tasks are often accompanied by a phone call to my mom in Florida, some Facebook browsing, or late-night viewings of whatever’s been stored up on the DVR. Lately, I’ve been getting caught up on the A&E show Obsessed. While I’ve watched nearly every episode in the last couple of nights, I will refrain from making the obvious joke. If you’ve not seen this show, then let me catch you up. They follow around two people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder so you can see how screwed up these two patients' lives are, and then by forcing them to put themselves in horrifying situations, they wrap up the end of the hour hugging the therapist and proclaiming themselves cured.* That’s really, really oversimplifying it, just so you know. The participants actually go through 12 weeks of counseling, part of which is “exposure therapy.” It’s actually pretty neat to see what happens when the therapy is successful, but that’s really not what keeps you coming back for more. For most of us, I think it’s pure voyeurism where we can look at someone else and say, “You know, I think I’m actually doing OK.” I’ve discovered that Obsessed affects me in several ways, both good and bad; and because everything that goes through my mind must obviously be published on the Internet to prove that I am a unique and beautiful snowflake, I thought I’d share. Good: The hoarders make me feel way better about the craft supplies in my basement. Bad: I’m now pretty sure that I’m no more than one traumatic experience and a few irrational thoughts away from verbally punctuating all of my sentences when I speak. Good: When I’m up at in the middle of the night banging away at the keyboard, I can always think, “Well, at least I don’t pull my eyelashes out!” Bad: While I understand that obsessive-compulsive behavior is nothing to envy, I sometimes get a little wistful when I see how clean some of the patients’ houses are. Good: The fact that I don’t like my foods to touch each other looks pretty benign all of a sudden. Bad: The twins from that eating disorder episode haunt me. So, what have we learned here? Let’s see…if you want to feel better about yourself when you’re cramming for a deadline, Obsessed may or may not be the ticket. Of course, if you really want to cultivate a sense of normalcy about your own life, catch a couple of back-to-back episodes of Intervention. I feel practically Amish after an evening with that show. *For the record, I’d like to say that I’m actually a big fan of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and the people on this show who work it really are inspiring and amazing…but that’s not funny, so I opted for snark.

Yes, I Am That Much of a Word Nerd

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 08:42:25 +0000

As a writer, I have to admit that I do occasionally take myself far too seriously. My business partner and I have been known to refer to ourselves as "wordsmiths" without even cracking a grin. There's another blogger out there who likes disparagingly refer to us as "ar-TEESTs," and we don't really argue the point. So, it should come as no great surprise that I am a pushover for a good play on words. Throw a well-crafted pun my way, and you'll find yourself going up considerably in my esteem. (Not that those things matter to you, of course, I'm just sayin'.) One of my dear friends recently got extra "cool" points (yes, I did put that in quotes, as my idea of cool isn't exactly the same as mainstream America's) when he posted a link to this totally awesome t-shirt:

I want, I want, I want. The site has a lot of really funny (or should I say "punny") shirts that I would proudly wear. Here are a few of the best: Oh my stars and gardens, I'm not even sure how many puns are in that last one. I think I'm having a word-gasm.

Day One of My "Week Off"

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 08:03:42 +0000

My “secret” to running a successful business while still having ample time to spend with my toddler is two-fold. First of all, I don’t try that hard. OK, that’s sort of oversimplifying it; what I mean to say is that I don’t work full-time hours. I spend approximately 12 hours a week at my office, and I usually put in more hours at home, depending on how much needs to be done. My real secret weapon, though, is my Mother’s Helper. Virginia has been with us for just less than a year, and I truly believe that if the house was on fire, Dot would save her and leave Mama and Papa to their own devices. She looooves Virginia. As you can imagine, this is great for me. Unless, of course, Virginia wants a vacation. This week, Virginia is off on some fancy trip with her stupid husband and their stupid dog, and I am home with one very sick baby. I planned ahead, however, and have very little work on my schedule for the week. (See, told you I don’t try that hard.) ;-) So, day one of Operation Stay at Home Mom is over, and everyone seems to have survived. What would you do if you just weren’t supposed to be working for a week? I…um…worked. But not much. Why do I feel extremely defensive all of a sudden? Here’s the Reader’s Digest version of my first day at home. • Wake up and spend ten minutes washing gunk off the baby’s eyelashes so she can actually open her eyes (disgusting!) • Discover that I have no Internet connection • Freak out about current lack of Gmail/Twitter/Facebook/LiveJournal/Outlook • Swallow my panic and call my husband, who happens to be an IT guy • Run anti-virus software • Attempt to feed baby who has no appetite • Get ansty waiting for anti-virus software to scan • Take the baby for a walk to distract us both • Return home to find the Internet is up and running! • Try to feed the baby again, while obsessively checking to see if Big Client has responded to yesterday’s email • Read Hop on Pop five-hundred and seventy-nine times • Clean the kitchen, clean the living room, clean the bathroom • Get baby down for a nap • Call writing team members to make last-minute changes to this week’s articles • Finally get email from Big Client – it’s not good news • Get call from another client. Despite telling her I’m not working this week, somehow get talked into staying up after the baby goes to sleep tonight to write a bio • Pry the baby’s eyes open again (sooo gross!) • Play with toys, dance in the living room, try to protect cat and baby from one another • Husband is home! • Eat dinner, try to get the baby to eat • Baby and Papa take a bath and Mama sneaks off to work on a project for Big Client • Rock baby to sleep and get back to work • Procrastinate by blogging about my day Of course, this depiction is less than accurate because I didn’t include the 750 nose wipes or the comparable number of times that I checked Facebook. I wonder what my second “day off” holds in store!

Day Two of My "Week Off"

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 06:55:07 +0000

I was a freelance stereotype today: I did not get out of my pajamas. Niiiice.

Why Editors Are Worth their Weight in Gold

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 10:52:35 +0000

I admitted recently to taking myself a bit too seriously. I will go so far as to say that I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to grammar, spelling, and punctuation. (Simply typing that sentence has ensured that karma will insist on no less than three mistakes in this post, by the way.) There's no doubt that even the best writer can benefit from the expertise of a good editor. Even Salman Rusdie has to heed the red pen, after all. (And if you think his editor is tough...) Why is it then, that those who really, really need this expert guidance are the least likely to seek it? I'm talking about graffiti artists like the one who professed his religious devotion in the most obvious way, by mispelling it on a mailbox in downtown Seattle: (Yes, I felt moved to take a picture of it.) But, those who really should pay attention are the ones who are going to wear their grammatical error for the rest of their lives. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Horrible Tattoos.* *Just to be clear, I don't actually give you horrible tattoos. I don't even give you good tattoos. I get queasy at the sight of blood.

Things Not to Do with a Sick Toddler

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:41:40 +0000

Lorna last week:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures Things not to do with a sick toddler: 1. Drive 539 miles in one day – Spokane to Billings 2. Expose tons of other little kids to her illness – Sorry, cousins and cousins’ friends. 3. Let her put her fingers in your mouth – Now I’m sick, too. 4. Feed her dairy products – Hello, mucous. 5. Attend an hour+ -long church service – She sure looked cute in her matching hat and dress, though. 6. Expect her to spend more than five consecutive minutes without being held – My arms ache! 7. Drive another 535 miles – Billings to Helena, Helena to Spokane

Getting Published is Soooo Easy

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 10:34:31 +0000

I’m currently cheerleading from the sidelines as my business partner goes about trying to get her first novel published. Shoot. I’d better call her and make sure it’s ok for me to out her as a romance junkie… Thumbs up from the soon-to-be-famous Tamara Morgan. Where was I? Oh, yes. Tamara took some time out last November to pen her first romance novel during NaNoWriMo. I was quite impressed by her stick-to-it-ive-ness as she wrote in fits and bursts, as well as the occasional overly-wrought dry spell. I was supportive and encouraging and didn’t even laugh at her when she told me she cried over her own characters ala Joan Wilder. But, the writing was only the beginning. In the ensuing months, Tamara has entered contests (and even won some), sought out an agent (and signed with one), and gone through a grueling revision process…while working on her second novel. So, when I saw this video about the “Imaginary Writing Process,” I couldn’t help but think of all the time I wasted in junior high school, fantasizing something similar while pining to be the next Stephen King. (Because I was way more into ghosts and vampires than corsets and hard, throbbing members.)

What Would You Do If You Became a Famous Writer

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 10:44:05 +0000

Yesterday I shared a little video about the “Imaginary Publishing Process,” as well as an anecdote about how it was so relevant to my life because…um…I know someone going through the process. Well, here’s another one by the same folks that is probably even less likely to pertain to me, but is still really funny. I particularly like #4. If I did become a famous author, though, I think my first order of business would be to attach that title directly to my name. You know, like how once someone has won an Oscar, they are forever known as Academy Award Winner George Clooney/Gwenneth Paltrow/Denzel Washington/Christopher Rouse? I would want to be known as Famous Author Lorna Doone Brewer. Do you think the DMV would put it on my driver’s license?

Procrastination

Simon James — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 11:18:57 +0000

Right, we are now inspired to produce scribblings of the finest prose so we must get to the keyboard and begin. We’ve finished the school run and kissed our partners farewell until the evening so we have the rest of follow our inspiration wherever they may lead us. The day lies before us like a glorious canvas and we have many vivid colours to spray around like Jackson Pollock on a particularly inspired day. Let’s get going!

0910 - Well, whilst I make for the computer to boot we may as well open the post whilst I wait for the coffee to brew. Oo look, we may have won some sort of lottery, all we have to do is send back these three envelopes and we have a 1 in 3 chance of winning something. What could it be I wonder?

0930 - Well, I’ve made the coffee and have got the envelopes ready to post, let’s get to it! Hey, wait a moment, that Lottery could be scam, I’d better check the internet to see if it’s been reported….it seems to be fine but there are a lot unscrupulous people out there, maybe I should do a story on that to warn people what’s out there. Where’s my notebook? I should write that down.

0945 - Right, that another idea captured for later, excellent, I have a production line all set up now. All I need now is to get some words down. DING. Oh, some emails, what’s this? I’ve won the Nigerian Lottery again. Twice. Great, I can retire. I wonder who actually falls for these things? Anyone? Maybe google knows. Oh yes, it seems like quite a few people have fallen for it, maybe it’s a good story, I should write this down. Good, another story captured. And what’s that? Extend my what?! No thank you where much. DELETE.

1030 - Well, the notebook is filling up quite nicely and it looks like the sun is coming out. Magnificent! What a great day to be creating. Hey, you know what, I bet it would be great to sit outside and write. Yes, let’s do that.

1130 - Hmm, I wonder why my wireless doesn’t reach out there, it’s a shame as it works right up to near the garden table and then cuts out. I must remember to look into that. Back to the indoor desk for me then. Still, looking out of the window the day does look magnificent. Look, there’s a squirrel running around with half an apple in it’s mouth, where’s my camera. I am going to have to put this up on my blog.

1200 - I really need to redesign my blog, it looks OK but it doesn’t really bring across my true commitment to writing. Let’s have a quick fiddle with it.

1230 - Wordpress can be really awkward sometimes, how do you create a page with a separate RSS feed for my published articles? OH MY GOD, the squirrel is back and what does he have this time? Is that a Twinkie? The squirrel has a full Twinkie in it’s mouth! Where did it get that? WHERE IS MY CAMERA?

1300 - Seeing that squirrel eating a Twinkie has made me hungry. I do worry about squirrel nutrition habits now but I suppose it had an apple before the Twinkie so maybe it’s a balanced diet. OK, time for lunch.

1430 - Delicious lunch now digesting and dinner baking away for the kids, we are domestic Gods and Goddesses! What, what’s that smell? Did I put the oven on the correct temperature? Let me go check.

1445 - All fine, it was just a little spillage on the oven base. It always wafts the smell through the house when that happens because of the fan assistance technology. So the brochure tells me. SO THEN, to writing! Where was I? Wait, I’ve only written 20 words? How can that be I’ve been working at this all day! Oh, someone’s at the door?

1530 - Two guys made out they were looking for Jesus and wanted to know if I had found him. I hadn’t. Turns out they actually had and wanted tell me all about him and I felt too rude to tell them ‘no thanks’. I have a pamphlet showing me how to find Jesus now, should I ever feel that I lost him or need to demonstrate to further callers that I have at least the method rather than the compulsion.

1540 - Wow, is that the time? I need to go pick up the kids and drop them off at soccer practise and swimming coaching. Then chess club and ballet. Or is it science club and a sleep-over tonight? Actually, I think it’s a science club sleep-over as they have to hand in their projects by tomorrow. They’re all staying at the Johnson’s as they have a huge garage to work in for their experiments. Right, where’s my keys, let’s get going.

1545 - I really could go for a Twinkie right now, where did that come from?

Speling is for Loosers

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:39:01 +0000

I used to work for a hypnosis clinic. Snigger all you want, it was actually kind of cool. Wait, the job wasn't cool. The job was HORRIBLE, but the premise was pretty cool. And some of the clients were, too. Most of them came to our clinic to lose weight, and I could never get past the fact that the REGIONAL MANAGER always spelled it "loose." She also once sent out a memo that said "an other words," instead of "in other words," and that's really just the tip of the iceberg. Anyway, it turns out that I'm not the only one who takes pictures of things like mispelled graffiti and improperly punctuated billboards. Here's a choice offering from FAIL Blog:
see more Fail Blog While the sentiment on this one is nice, it's pretty bad, too:
see more Fail Blog If you happen to have any pictures of misspelled or mispunctuated signs, feel free to send them to me at lornadoone at berrybrewer dot com, and maybe you'll see them here.

The Funniest Writing Blogs On the Internet

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:18:38 +0000

So, as I spend hours scouring the web for the best stuff to share with you here (yeah, my job is terrible), I often come across some pretty funny people. Today, I'd like to introduce you to a couple of blogs that crack me up. Now, this doesn't mean that you have persmission to replace me. If you happen to have some spare time, however, you are allowed to go peek at some of these funny folks.

Back to San Diego - Kara was the first to bring us the hilarious Thanksgiving email. As I perused her blog, I had to restrain myself from emailing her and asking her to be my new best friend. Seriously, Kara, we have so much in common: I love DMB, hate Prop 8, am a total Buffy geek, and am a freelance writer, too! Call me! (Too desperate?)
Screw You! - So, Kathy Kerhli has far bigger cajones than I do. She gives weekly middle finger awards to deadbeats and exposes the seedy underbelly of freelancing...that is to say, bad clients.
The Coywriter Underground - I'll admit that I'm new to this blog, but I like the straighforward way Tom writes. It makes me grin.
Writing Frump - How on earth one person can be so snarky and still sound so grandmotherly at the same time is beyond me. This "anonymous" writer calls out bad clients and those who might be thinking about being bad clients.
Jackson Pearce - I've actually posted a couple of videos created by this "novelist, cat keeper, adventuruer." She just got her first novel published, and it's kind of fun to follow her journey as she mails out announcements and attends her first book signings. She also has some fairly sound advice to offer, as well as those videos.
Freelance Freedom - Part of Freelance Switch, this blog features the comics of N.C. Winters. All about the freelance life, some of them hit a little close to home!

Do you think you have or know of a super-funny writing blog? I would love to hear about it and add it to the list. Leave me a comment!

Signs of the Times

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:16:33 +0000

Since starting this blog, I have finally found a way to vent my ongoing frustrations of misspelled and mispunctuated signs. It seems like they're everywhere. In fact, did you know that an apostrophe that is incorrectly used to pluralize a word actually has a name? It's often referred to as a "grocer's apostrophe" because they're so common on hand-made signs at markets. It turns out that I'm not the only one who is keeping tabs on these things. Here is a huge section of a website dedicated to just such grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors. The best, though, is the guys documented by ABC News as they traveled cross-country and not only found and photographed signs, but also corrected them! The one above is captioned "a very relaxed apostrophe." Even though I generally dislike misspelled signs, sometimes they do encourage a little self-satisfied grin on my part. Like this one from Odee.com:

If you happen upon some fun misspelled or mispunctuated signs, send me a picture at lornadoone at berrybrewer dot com, and maybe they'll be featured here!

This Will Literally Make You Laugh Out Loud

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:23:11 +0000

As writers, we have to be really careful about the message we send with the words we choose. That's not to say we don't appreciate a good metaphor from time to time, but if we're not pretty clear about what we're trying to say, then we're probably also not going to get paid. Visual artists, on the other hand, seem to have a little more wiggle room when it comes to interpretation. I've recently been seeing quite a few of these "Literal Translations" of music videos, and some of them are really good. Today I'm introducing you to one that actually made me laugh out loud a couple of different times. Hope you like it! *If any of my real-life friends or family are reading this, I'll bet you thought it was going to be yet another one of my rants about people who misuse the word "literally." Don't worry. I suspect that post is still forthcoming. ;-)

A Three Hour Tour, A Three Hour Tour

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 21:13:56 +0000

I have learned a couple of things about staying with the extremely aged: 1. No one so much as bats an eye if you announce in the middle of the afternoon that you're going to go take a nap. 2. If you buy applesauce and pudding for the baby, you'd better keep an eye on it.
see more Lol Celebs OK, first of all, why don't "hour" and "tour" rhyme? It never occurred to me before just now, but shouldn't they rhyme? Totally not the point of this post, though. On September 15th, I loaded my 1 1/2 year old and myself, along with a stroller, a diaper bag, a purse, a sling, and one checked bag onto an airplane with a fair amount of dread in my heart. My darling daughter doesn't even like to be in a carseat, so you can imagine how thrilled I was at the prospect of holding her on my lap for hours on end. Also, my husband, who has never traveled alone with a baby before, got us a better deal by scheduling us with a SIX HOUR layover in Denver. Awesome. Next up came Atlanta, where earlier torrential rains forced us to wait on the tarmak while my next fly rose into the sky without me and my hungry, none-too-happy toddler. There were more problems and issues, and we ended up with a room at the local Doubletree with plans to fly out the next morning. We did finally make it to our destination, something like 28 hours after actually leaving home. Florida is hot and sticky, and my mom came to the airport to pick us up without a car seat. Again with the awesome. We've been working to get into the swing of things with my mom and my 95-year-old grandmother and 98-year-old grandfather ever since. It definitely encourages you to take care of your health while you can. This is where this post is supposed to get poignant, but we'll see if I can make my point without just bumming you out. Yesterday morning my grandfather had a massive heart attack. The paramedics did what they could, but if he were to wake up from it (which is very unlikely), he would probably have severe brain damage from lack of oxygen. He has been removed from life support and Grandma is waiting at the hospital with him while he slips away from this life. Of course, I'm very sad about all of this. My grandfather is a wonderful man who has treated me better than just about any other in my life. Still, the existence he was living up to this point was not a good one. I now understand how people can think "It's for the best" at a time like this. I have many thoughts, including that one; but the one I wanted to share with you is that I am so, so, so glad to have the profession I do. With my laptop, cell phone, and my mom's Internet connection, I can still work. In fact, I can rebook my return ticket and stay longer to help my grandma through this time. After all, having the cutest, sweetest, smartest baby in the world toddling around your house can do a lot to lift your spirits and reflect on the beauty of life. Being a freelancer not only allowed me to be here to see my grandfather one last time, but it will allow me to stay as long as I'm needed. I love that.

More "Funny" Stuff

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:48:26 +0000

We've extended our trip by a week, so updates will be from sunny (scorching, sticky, humid, sweltering) Florida. It turns out that my grandma gets the large-print edition of the Reader's Digest, and I just happen to come across a recommendation to check out what is billed as The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. I looked it up and immediately knew that you had to see it, too. I admit that most people aren't as snooty, snobby, stuck up, and self important as I am when it comes to punctuation, so it did my heart good to see that not only do they post pictures of signs using unnecessary quotation marks, but they also tell you what those sign literally mean with the incorrect punctuation. Pretty funny stuff, I tell you. Of course, this means that it is once again time for me to request that if you see poorly spelled or improperly punctuated signs, ads, headlines, etc., you should send them to me at lornadoone at berrybrewer dot com.

Bringing Community Back: FWJ is Giving Away $150

Deborah Ng — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:57:05 +0000

Once upon a time there was a blog. This blog had several thousand visitors each day. They shared. They chatted. They commiserated. It was all good. Soon some mean people came by and began scaring away the happy chatters. The vibe changed from warm and fuzzy to not so much fun anymore. The owner did her best to build up community, but she was so busy with her projects and her job it wasn't happening. She put a comment policy into place but the damage was already done. She had a reputation for having a community that liked to bicker. She wants to change that. If you remember the days when FWJ was a huge, lively community of writers helping writers, you may miss the golden days as well. Let's try and get it all back. Several years ago, we built this community with a contest - a comments contest. We offered a $25 gift certficate to the person with the most comments. People came and never left. It was good. We're doing it again, except we're upping the ante. Beginning today, October 1st, we're giving away $150 to the people who help to bring back this wonderful community. We're giving away three $50 prizes.

The person with the most comments between now and October 31st, on the homepage Freelance Writing Jobs blog, will receive $50.
The person with the most comments across the whole FWJ network by the end of the month, that's all of the blogs, will receive $50.
The FWJ blogger who does the most to build community and join the conversation will win $50 at the end of the month.

Just a few notes:

Comments that only say " I agree" or add nothing to the conversation won't count.
Comments not adhering to our comment policy will be deleted and won't count.
Spammy comments or comment dropping links - unless they're truly offering something to the conversation - won't count.

I know you're here. I see the numbers. Thousand of people visit each day and even more subscribe. Come join the conversation. Let's bring community back!

"Would You Like to Play a Game?"

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:08:51 +0000

First of all, I'll give a big shoutout to whomever can answer the question in the title by telling me the name of the game it alludes to. My plan since taking over has been to play some word games here on the Other Stuff blog. Theoretically, those of us reading it are writers, after all, and who likes a good word game more than we snobs? Plus, there's the added incentive of competition, excitement, and possible recognition as a smarty-pants. What's not to love? I promise that this is something I planned to do long before Deb announced that she was trying to build community by holding a comments contest. Really. Truly. I even had planned to start it on October first...no joke. But, now of course, I just look like I had to come up with some hair-brained scheme to try and get people to like me enough to comment on my blog. Oh well. Some of the games will allow for more than one correct answer, and others will require one answer to build upon others left in the comments section, so you may want to subscribe to comments to keep up, if you're really serious about playing. For now, there won't be any prizes other than the adulation of your peers, but we'll see if we can't rig something up for later if it goes well. I'll get this posted, and then I'll start us off with our first game. (Ooh, and I'd like to add that if anyone has suggestions for word games that will work well in this format, I am ALL EARS - lornadoone at berrybrewer dot com.)

Double Ds (or Ys or Qs or Whatever)

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:27:36 +0000

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become "DREAD" when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. How many of the following can you get? Go ahead and post your answers without looking at what other people have left in the comments. We're using an honor code here, by the way. 1. _RIM_ 2. _EDIU_ 3. _OADSTE_ 4. _ISBAN_

Double Ds 2

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:39:34 +0000

It seems like you're enjoying the idea of word games here on the Other Stuff blog. Sweet! Let's try another round of Double Ds. Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become "DREAD" when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. 1. _eve_ 2. _ar_ 3. _atc_ 4. _atastrophi_

Stars!

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:56:04 +0000

So, I have a new game for us to try out here at the Other Stuff blog today. I call it stars because it uses asterisks, and because it usually deals with famous people. Here's how it works: Each phrase is a clue about a particular person. You will find that two (sometimes more) letters have been replaced in the clue by stars. The missing letters will be used to begin each word of the answer. For example, if the clue was "Talksho* H*st," you would figure out that it is a talkshow host with the initials "O.W." (Oprah Winfrey) As always, leave your answers in the comments, and don't peek at the others before you post your own. Honor system and all that... 1. Nineteen Ei*hty F*ur: __________ 2. *aVinci Code *estseller: __________ 3. The Hand*aid's T*le: __________ 4. Cre*tor of The Lovely Bone*: __________

Stars!

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:32:20 +0000

Each phrase is a clue about a particular person. You will find that two (sometimes more) letters have been replaced in the clue by stars. The missing letters will be used to begin each word of the answer. For example, if the clue was “Talksho* H*st,” you would figure out that it is a talkshow host with the initials “O.W.” (Oprah Winfrey) 1. *urrealistic *rawer: __________ 2. low*r cas* poetry s*ribe: _________ 3. Comman*er, Freela*ce Writing Jobs: __________ 4. Jeop*rdy! Know-I*-All: __________ Leave your answers in the comments. How many can you get without looking them up?

Double Ds

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:09:56 +0000

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answer in the comments without looking at what other people have said. 1. _quat_ 2. _ero_ 3. _inimalis_ 4. _ro_

The Flow!

Simon James — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:17:38 +0000

OK, that’s enough putting it off, we have to sit down and get on with it. However, now that I have explored what it is to have ambition, be inspired and then become a procrastinator, where do we go? Where can we go? Productivity isn’t something that you switch on and off as a writer, you have to achieve the zen like state of ‘Flow’. We’ve all experienced it, that feeling that you may never finish typing because the words aren’t just flowing out of you they are somehow jumping out before you barely think of them. It’s that glorious feeling that you are blissfully slightly out of control but, like a poker winning streak, you shouldn’t mess with it, you should just go with it. Officially, Flow is the operative mental state in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing with an energised focus, complete involvement and feeling of complete success in the process of the activity. It was discovered by a guy defined Csíkszentmihályi and he identified nine factors that accompanies the experience of flow:

Clear goals - clear attainable goals allow our crazy, wild expectations to become tangible, something to aspire to. The smaller the goals within a wider context, the easier it will be to view progress against your big dream.
Concentration - see my previous posts about distractions! It’s not hard to be 100% focused but there are steps to take to be able to maintain concentration to be able to slip in your creative trance.
According to our massively monickered friend, within the feeling of flow a loss of self-consciousness leads to the feeling of the merging of action and awareness. Think of it like being the Bruce Lee of writing and waving your fingers at the empty screen before writing.
You may experience a distorted sense of time like when you sit down, effectively black out and come around to see a couple of thousand words and a empty wine glass. Or bottle, but that would perhaps explain the black-out.
After briefly flicking through your newly filled pages, you will find that it’s mostly good stuff. The total immersion you experience you to connect to the words that you’re writing and allow it to bring out your best.
You will also surprise yourself by writing some of your best stuff. Stuff that you probably didn’t even realise that was in you. It may start to sound like some sort of religious experience and I suppose it is if you worship words!
Although a great deal of the process of this feeling may feel like you are out of control, you are actually very much so. It is all within you in the first place, this is just a method of controlling your output. Like putting your volume up to 11.
The actual feeling of performing the act of creating is intrinsically rewarding, so the flow become self fulfilling like a your own solar panel. The more you work, the more you want.
Once you have become become absorbed in your activity, and your focus of awareness is narrowed down to the activity itself, there is an action awareness merging that effectively turns you into a writing superhero. I suggest you have a superhero word such as, “Flame On” to really get the full effect.

So there you have it, that is ‘The Flow’, my take on a serious, psychological topic with my own little twist on it. So, get to it; “FLAME ON”! PS Sorry I haven’t posted recently, I’ve been a bit ill, better now though!

Double Ds

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:13:29 +0000

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answers in the comments without peeking at what other people have written. 1. _ubia_ 2. _hrea_ 3. _he_ 4. _are_

27 Writing Quotes, 1 for Every Occaision (ish)

Simon James — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:02:12 +0000

A quick and dirty list of some of my favourite writing quotes for you to use in any article, post, diatribe, speech, dedication, mantra or bellow to the heavens. Hope you enjoy and feel free to add your own in the comments! Ambition 1. Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. C.S. Lewis The Aging Writer 2. With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs. James Thurber 3. If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing. Kingsley Amis 4. I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974. Jeffrey Bernard. Research 5. Get the facts first. You can distort them later. Mark Twain Honing 6. The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. Mark Twain 7. You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. Ray Bradbury 8. Every writer I know has trouble writing. Joseph Heller quotes Deadlines 9. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Douglas Adams 10. Writing is pretty crummy on the nerves. Paul Theroux Procrastination 11. For a moment, nothing happened.Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. Douglas Adams 12. The best time to plan a book is while you're doing the dishes. Agatha Christie 13. Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance Dan Greenburg Getting It Right 14. A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. Gilbert K. Chesterton 15. The secret of good writing is to say an old thing in a new way or to say a new thing in an old way. Richard Harding Davis 16. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. Tom Clancy The Truth about Writing 17. A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction. William Faulkner 18. Let's face it, writing is hell. William Styron 20. For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can. Ernest Hemingway 21. I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. Peter De Vries 22. The true function of a writer is to produce a masterpiece and no other task is of any consequence. Cyril Connolly quotes Criticism 23. This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. Dorothy Parker Getting Paid 24. The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps. Robert Benchley 25. The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away. Tom Waits Companions 26. A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys. Barbara Holland 27. A writer is, after all, only half his book. The other half is the reader and from the reader the writer learns. P. L. Travers

Why I Can Be Smug, A Blog Action Day Post

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

So, in case you’re living under a rock, or like me, you’ve been attending to a sick baby for days and haven’t poked around the Internet, I’ll let you know that today is Blog Action Day. It’s something that’s been going on for a few years now where thousands of bloggers all write about one specific topic on one specific day in the hopes that some actual change will come about and the world will be all copasetic and stuff. This year’s topic is Global Warming. No, wait. Scratch that. It’s on Climate Change. Despite having gotten half a dozen emails in the last week reminding me that Blog Action Day was coming up and what I was supposed to write about, I still had to go look it up and am writing my post at the last minute. Oh well. I’m guessing the person sending out those emails has been puked on two less times than I have in the last 24 hours or so. So, in an effort to be a part of something bigger than myself, as well as to fulfill my contractual obligation to FWJ (just kidding, Deb), I thought it might be nice to take a look at why being a freelance writer is so good for the environment. 1. No daily commute means less fuel consumed, less emissions, and less of me giving the finger to other drivers in traffic. 2. Eating at home means that I consume more organic and local food leading to lest pesticides in the ecosystem, less transportation needs for the food, and less worry over whether I’m going to develop a second set of breasts due to all the added hormones in fast food. 3. Despite the fact that my job is all about creating documents, the only ones that ever actually end up on paper are my to-do lists. Freelancing means no inter-officer memos, no coworkers Xeroxing their butts on the copy machine, and no need to print out the latest “TPS Report.” 4. Having complete control over your working environment means you don’t have to sit by as someone else wastes electricity setting the heat to 75 degrees while opening a window to “get some fresh air.” 5. Barely leaving one’s home makes for a lot less consumerism overall. I don’t find myself tempted to buy things I don’t need only to have them end up in the landfill once I’ve really proven to myself that I was a moron for buying them in the first place. I’m sure I’ve missed plenty of reasons that we freelancers can be smug about how great our jobs are for the environment, so I invite you to add to the list in the comments section.

We All Want It That Way

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:03:51 +0000

Yesterday I talked a bit about why it's so great not to have an office job. Then I saw this video, and I'm thinking it wouldn't be all bad. This totally made me smile, even if I do have this song stuck in my head now.

Oh, Literature. How I've Missed You!

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:08:51 +0000

For some reason, it didn’t quite register when my husband pointed the camera at me as I opened my birthday gift a week and a half ago, that there was something truly special secreted under the purple flowered wrapping paper I’d bought during a school fundraising drive several years ago. It turns out that he wanted to capture the look on my face as I opened the package to find my biggest (current) materialistic dream had been fulfilled. He bought me a Kindle. And I am in love. Um, with him. Yeah, that’s what I meant. Here's the not-so-flattering picture he got, by the way: As someone who gave up the love of reading as life got more and more hectic and then a baby was thrown into the equation, I fondled my new electronic device with mixed emotions. Of course, I was elated by the gadget…and the fact that my darling husband had actually heard something I’d said in the past six months. But, there was the fear that I wouldn’t use it enough. That it would be a waste of money. Fortunately, I’m already about 90% done with my first novel (Alice Sebold’s Almost Moon) and already have a wish list in mind. Next will be The Timetraveler’s Wife, and then is Wicked. (I’m telling you, I am really far behind in pop culture reading.) But, I’m not content with my piddly little list of “must reads.” I am insatiable at the moment. That’s why I’m asking you to offer suggestions for my wish list. What should I read, and why? Tell me about your favorite fiction. What classics make the world a better place by their mere existence? Fill me in on industry books I should be reading. What authors will blow my mind? What’s the best nonfiction book I’ve been missing out on for these last several years? Go crazy, people. I’m hoping to have a list of 100 “must-read” books that lets me know my husband will get his money’s worth out of this purchase.

An Afternoon Chuckle

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:52:52 +0000

Usually I can make these videos and other posts somehow relate to the writing life, but I'd really have to stretch pretty thin to make that work today. Still, I thought this was pretty darn funny, even if it does have a laugh track.

Double Ds

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 12:00:13 +0000

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answer in the comments without looking at what other people have said. 1. _riti_ 2. _awnsho_ 3. _oin_ 4. _oftnes_

Double Ds

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:16:53 +0000

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answer in the comments without looking at what other people have said. 1. _tlant_ 2. _ada_ 3. _eldin_ 4. _illo_

I'm a Jackass

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:57:39 +0000

So, it turns out that I’m a jackass. Not just a cute little petting-zoo burro, either; but a braying, bucking donkey of a blogger. After four months of inventing word games, of finding hilarious videos, and of attempting to share my self-deprecating humor, I was so sad that no one seemed to be reading. My self-esteem took a nosedive, but I kept trying to put cool stuff up here because a) that’s what I was hired to do, and b) it’s fun. A lot of times, it seemed like Julia was the only one who was interested. This little donkey threw a bit of a pity party, hee-hawing and boo-hooing to herself. After all, when I asked a community of writers for their reading suggestions (Oh, Literature. How I've Missed You) and only got one, I was seriously bummed. To be honest, my self-confidence took a hit right around that time. Again with the boo-hooing. Then I got an email from Deb today. She asks if I realize that I’m supposed to be moderating the comments. Wha…? Comments? People have been commenting and I didn’t know? Sure enough, following Deb’s email was a slew of comments that she had apparently approved for me. So, I’d like to apologize to all of you who have had something to say and feel like I’ve completely ignored you. I have, but not purposely. I appreciate that you’ve been adding your two cents’ worth, even if you weren’t getting an acknowledgement for it. I promise to make a point to check the comments and approve you as quickly as possible from here on out! Heeeee-haaaaaaw.

Why, Yes, I Do Love My Kindle

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:04:46 +0000

Before I start to tell you more about my experience with the Kindle, I wanted to hit you all up for naming suggestions. It turns out that you can give your device its own name, and I haven’t come up with the perfect one yet. If you’ve got a suggestion, please leave it in the comments. As I mentioned previously, my darling husband bought me a Kindle for my birthday. I do love my little toy, let me tell you. We’ve had some issues, and I had to get a replacement because once my battery ran all the way down, it wouldn’t start back up. I sounded so forlorn telling my hubby, “My Kindle won’t wake up.” It reminded me of some little kid who has just found his goldfish floating belly-up in the bowl. It didn’t help matters that I was 1/3 of the way through Wicked at the time and was going to have to wait for the new one to arrive via FedEx. I know the delivery guys get all kinds of comments when they show up with packages, but this one nearly got French kissed on my front porch. There are some things I really like about my new Kindle: 1. I can use it one-handed, which means that as long as she doesn’t realize Mama is trying to multi-task, I can read while nursing the baby. 2. I love the instant gratification that comes with being able to download a book immediately. 3. I don’t have to flip through the book to find out where I left off. (Because I’m just no good at using bookmarks.) There are also some things I don’t like so well: 1. If you accidentally hit the “back” button, you may spend the next ten minutes trying to find your place. 2. It’s pretty easy to accidentally advance multiple pages. (I believe this was addressed with the Kindle II.) 3. Apparently, you should never let the battery run all the way down. 4. Because it is a “no-no” and has buttons, my daughter covets it to a ridiculous degree. Really, though, I’m quite pleased with my gift. It was a refurbished unit, which means hubby didn’t pay full price, and I like that, too. Since the birth of my first child, I managed to read ZERO books. I am now on my fourth since the end of September. As odd as it sounds, I kind of feel like myself again. There was a time when you just wouldn’t find me without a book in my hand, and even though this one is electronic, that’s starting to be the case again.

What Are You Reading?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:22:26 +0000

We’ve all heard the advice that if you want to be a good writer, you should also be an avid reader. I have to admit that I’ve been resting on my laurels for quite some time now. Since I received my Kindle, however, I’ve poked my head out of my shell and dived into the world of literature once again. I recently asked you all to offer suggestions for what I should read. It went something like this: “What should I read, and why? Tell me about your favorite fiction. What classics make the world a better place by their mere existence? Fill me in on industry books I should be reading. What authors will blow my mind? What’s the best nonfiction book I’ve been missing out on for these last several years?” Many of you jumped on board and offered some great suggestions. I thought it would make sense to list them all in one place so each of us could take advantage of the advice of our colleagues. I’ll continue to add to the list if and when more suggestions are made. I was trying to gather 100, and we have 35, not counting specific authors that were recommended. So far, I’ve used my electronic book to read Alice Sebold’s The Almost Moon, Gregory McGuire’s Wicked, and Cami Walker’s 29 Gifts. What should I choose next? Maybe one of the following from Freelance Writing Job readers. Laney Landry Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins (3) Simon J. James Catch 22 by Joseph Heller Closing Time by Joseph Heller The Liar by Stephen Fry A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving Tomas by James Palumbo Choke by Chuck Palahnuik Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson Heidi Heidel The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe by J. Randy Taraborelli Alice The Shadow of the Wind by Carolos Ruiz Zafon The Angel’s Game by Carolos Ruiz Zafon Better by Atul Gawande Complications by Atul Gawande Unconditional Parenting aby Alfie Kohn Human Croquet by Kate Atkinson The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood Wicked by Gregory Maguire Theresa The Witching Hour by Anne Rice The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley This House of Sky by Ivan Doig English Creek by Ivan Doig Jodee Rebecca by Daphne Dumaurier The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory The Chamber by John Grisham Kirsten The Book Thief by Markus Zusak Meghna The Japanese Wife by Kunal Basu Mike Treasure Island by Robert Stevenson Journey to the center of the Earth by Jules Verne The Bourne Trilogy by Robert Ludlum (3) The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (second time this one was mentioned) Authors that were also suggested: David Sedaris Matt Taibbi Tony Hillerman Jody Picoult Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse Nora Robers (as J.D. Robb) Mary Higgins Clark James Patterson Janet Evonovich

Writers are Weird: Writer's Routines (Part One)

Simon James — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:03:47 +0000

Sorry, but it’s the truth. Most are weird good, the type of weird that brings a smile to your face and an expedience to your typing. The kind of weird that your loved ones smirk at but sometimes don’t get, but they're cool with it. But your pets are sometimes confused as hell when you’re wearing a wig and a baseball cap and dressed in a t-shirt and shorts with slippers in the shape of Scooby Doo. However some are weird WEIRD. I have tried to make a full and frank account of some of them here. Feel free to add your own habits and weird little things so we can compare and contrast and then nervously change the subject and then pretend we never said anything. W. H. Auden was perhaps one of the first writers to uses stimulants as a "labor-saving device". He habitually used speed and swallowed Benzedrine every morning for twenty years. He balanced the somewhat uplifting effects of these amphetamines with the barbiturate Seconal when he wanted to sleep (as well as keeping a glass of vodka at the end of the bed if he woke up). Having such a haphazard approach to narcotics, he saw it as as a pragmatic approach to his workload that sometimes led to physical breakdown and mental collapses. Not to be recommended unless you have a very sturdy constitution. Stephen King is probably the most prolific Horror writer of our generation so surely there is something to learn from his habits. He seems to put a lot down to routine. “There are certain things I do if I sit down to write,” he said. “I have a glass of water or a cup of tea. There’s a certain time I sit down, from 8:00 to 8:30, somewhere within that half hour every morning,” he explained. “I have my vitamin pill and my music, sit in the same seat, and the papers are all arranged in the same places. The cumulative purpose of doing these things the same way every day seems to be a way of saying to the mind, you’re going to be dreaming soon.” So it seems a certain amount of compulsive tendencies may help upkeep the writing habit. “It’s not any different than a bedtime routine,” he continued. “Do you go to bed a different way every night? Is there a certain side you sleep on? I mean I brush my teeth, I wash my hands. Why would anybody wash their hands before they go to bed? I don’t know. And the pillows are supposed to be pointed a certain way. The open side of the pillowcase is supposed to be pointed in toward the other side of the bed. I don’t know why.” Yep, definitely a freaky need for routine and order but then ho can argue with his portfolio. Also, I guess you have to admit that the process of writing needs selfish isolation sometimes, who can completely switch off the world around them to concentrate? Finally for this part of an ongoing series a well known figure more for his leadership rather than his writing prowess, Winston Churchill. HIs daily routine changed little during even the war years. He always awoke about 7:30 a.m. and stayed in bed waiting for his gargantuan breakfast whilst he read his mail and papers. And then, get this for a great gig, he stayed in bed for a couple of hours working whilst he dictated to his secretaries. Then, it gets better, at 1100, he arose, had bath and perhaps took a walk around the garden in anticipation of his whisky and soda to his study. At 1300 he usually joined guests and family for a three-course lunch. It seems like it was a boozy lunch too, his wife Clementine drank claret and Winston Pol Roger champagne served at a specific temperature (with the obligatory port brandy and cigars). Lunch ended about 1530 and he went back to his study to work or, if the mood took him, played cards or backgammon with Clementine. At 1700, after another whisky and soda, he had a nap for ninety minutes. Amazingly this little siesta, a habit he had learned from his time in Cuba, allowed him to work 1 1/2 days in every 24 hours. At 1830, he woke up, had another bath and dressed for a 2000 dinner, which was the focal point and highlight of Churchill’s day. The talk of the day, usually dominated by Winston, was probably more important that was on their plates. Depending on the guests drinks and cigars went into the the wee hours. The guests retired and Churchill returned to his study for another hour or so of work. So there you have it, part one of this ongoing series shows that writer’s routines are weird, even weirder than you. (So far).

We Didn't Start the Fire

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:54:37 +0000

Remember that awesome Billy Joel song and how it summed up, like, a ton of history in just a couple of minutes, while simultaneously taking absolutely no responsibility for anything that has happened? That was cool, and it had a beat you could dance to, Dick. Today I came across this video that sums up the last decade in seven minutes flat. I like the way the narrator manages to get in a few zingers, even while talking a mile a minute. ETA: Oops, I guess it's seven minutes and three seconds. Now how will we find the time to watch it?

Maybe Math Really Can Be Fun

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:52:34 +0000

I've made no secret about the fact that I absolutely love being a freelancer. It affords me a flexible schedule, and I relish not having a boss breathing down my neck. Still, I love to see when people with "legit" jobs get creative and obviously enjoy themselves. Today's clip is of a really fun presentation a math teacher did for his students. I can't decide if it's cool-cool or nerd-cool...

Writers are Weird: Writer’s Routines (Part Two)

Simon James — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:41:32 +0000

An eclectic bunch of Brits today, and this time I don’t mean me. The great, the surreal and the genius! Will Self is an elaborate and intricate writer so you would think that his prose would need complete silence at almost monasterial levels. However, his approach is even more complex than his writing. Apart from working on a manual typewriter (quaint yet what a pain in the ass) as early in the morning as possible he works on multiple drafts at the same time. He waits until the first draft is 80% finished and then draft two and subsequently draft three. He says it gives him a, ‘grasp of the totality of the book’! He goes onto to talk of battling the loneliness of the writer, which he believes is alleviated by the following of Rituals. He smokes, the more noble and ritualistic pipes and cigars and drinks Coffee, tea and what he calls strange infusions! Knowing Mr Self’s colourful past, that could mean a number of things. Overall, he states, you have to have a healthy appetite for solitude and if you don't, you have little business being a writer. C.S. Lewis constantly lamented that he rarely had a "normal" day but he always aimed to have a standard day that was repeatable, building up the illusion of routine, even if he failed to live up to it. He would choose to breakfast at exactly eight and to be at his desk by nine, there to read and write until one (oh and if a cup of good tea or coffee was brought to him around eleven, he was very appreciative). As you can see from his exacting timings, lunch should be on the table at one precisely! By two (at the latest) he would be on the road for a walk OR a talk, never both at the same time as he did not like to be distracted from his concentration on specific pleasures. He would arrive back from his walk at four-fifteen and would take tea in solitude. He liked to read and eat as the same time (as do I) but never poetry, which he saw as blasphemous! He preferred ‘gossipy, formless’ books which could be opened anywhere. Whereas I imagined he was reading the thirties equivalent of National Enquirer, he was actually devouring Boswell, a translation of Herodotus and a History of English Literature. Light reading then… At five he was back at work again until seven. Then an evening meal and at last people were allowed to talk to him (or failing that light reading). Bed was no later than eleven and he would fall asleep dreading the knock of the postman as he despised correspondence and saw it a burden. His ideal life was quite solitary so he was ideally suited towards his literary intentions. Charles Darwin, as summarised by his son Frances had developed a rigid that seldom changed in his later years, even when he had visitors. He felt that a half an hour of conversation at a time was all that he could stand, because it completely exhausted him. 0700 - Up and off for a short walk (somewhat of a theme occurring) 0745 - Breakfast alone (again, a theme) 0800–0930 - Worked in his study which he considered this his best working time. 0930–1030 - Went to drawing room and read his letters, which were usually volumes from supporters and detractors alike, followed by reading aloud of family letters. 1030-1200 - Returned to study, which period he considered the end of his working day. END! Wow. Well I guess the guy figured out evolution so he was due some downtime in his latter years. 1200 - Walk, starting with visit to greenhouse, usually alone or with a dog. 1245 - Lunch with whole family (his main meal of the day). After lunch read The Times of London and answered his letters. 1500 - Had a lie down in his bedroom or on the sofa and smoked a cigarette whilst he listened to a novel or other light literature read by Emma Darwin, his wife. 1600 - Walked again. 1630–1730 - Worked in his study usually clearing his affairs. 1800 - Rested again in bedroom with Emma reading aloud. 1930 - High tea while his family dined.Sometimes he played backgammon with Emma, usually followed by reading to himself whilst Emma played the piano. 2200 - He was usually in bed by 2230 but slept unusually badly. So this instalment of the LitBrits shows that they like their routine and rituals, their traditions, if you will. This probably says a lot about the former Empire dwellers. Next time we will look at our more contemporary cousins and the best sellers.

Sing It, Sister

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:38:31 +0000

So, what does it take to become a novelist? There are a few things you need, according to this author who felt like she should devote an entire two-minute video to the subject. Feel free to watch it. If not, I'll sum up: You need a beginning, a middle, and an end, as well as to sit down and write the story. And here I thought it was all difficult and stuff.

NaNoWriMo Distractions

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:57:38 +0000

Are you taking part in NaNoWriMo this year? If so, then you're probably at a point where you'd love some distraction, but you totally can't afford the time as you're working toward that 50,000 word deadline. Always one to be helpful, I'm offering some links to videos that focus on NaNoWriMo. That way, you can waste your time on the computer while still having some sort of legitimate claim to the idea that you're working toward your goal. Whose got your back? That's right. I do. If you're a slacker, that is.

The Obligatory Gratitude Post

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:39:43 +0000

As I sit here half-bloated from turkey and mashed potatoes, it seems like a good idea to take stock of those things I’m grateful for during this Thanksgiving weekend. At the top of that list, of course, is the fact that I am a freelancer. I’m currently sitting on the couch at my friends’ house in Seattle, Washington. I don’t actually live in Seattle, mind you. Rather, we drove here on Wednesday afternoon, arriving just in time to watch Gonzaga (our Alma Mater) win the Maui Invitational Tournament. Hm, Thanksgiving in on Maui makes Thanksgiving in Seattle seem a little less glamorous all of a sudden. Still, I’m so pleased that it was no big deal for us to load the car full of essentials—which in our world means Goldfish crackers, Elmo DVDs, and baby dolls—and head over the mountain passes. In the past, I would have had to request time off a month in advance while knowing that my co-workers with more seniority were probably going to beat me out for all the good days off. Since I own my own business, there’s no one there with more seniority, and even if there was, I’m the boss and would have come out ahead on any scheduling conflicts, anyway. This trip comes directly on the heels of another to Helena, Montana last week. We were home for approximately 42 hours between trips. After this, we’ll go home for a week and a half, head back to Montana for a baptism, come home for a week or so and then go back to Montana, yet again, for Christmas. Imagine working for “the man” and trying to get that schedule. Yeah, right. But, in the freelancing world, we’re in charge. I still have work to do and projects to keep up with, but the fact of the matter is that I can work in the car, during the baby’s naps at friends’ houses, or even during a screening of Star Trek on DVD (which our friend Kevin is putting in the player right now). Not a bad deal, eh? So, when it comes to being grateful during this holiday, there’s no doubt in my mind that being a freelancer is way, way up on the list. It allows me to be all the other things I want to be: a good mom, a loving wife, and a friend who comes from miles away to crash your holiday parties.

I Don't Think That's What They Meant to Say

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 13:55:56 +0000

I've mentioned a few times that the need for editors is overwhelming. From misspelled signs to poorly punctuated websites, there are far too many opportunities for those of us who love grammar to shake our heads in dismay. I was downright shocked, however, to discover that even footwear apparently needs a proofreader from time to time. That's supposed to be "Texas," guys.
see more Epic Fails

Working as a Freelancer

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:01:22 +0000

I’ve made it clear that I love the freelancing lifestyle, but there are aspects of being a freelance writer that are downright scary. In a word: work. When I used to daydream about following this career path, I thought about how great it would be to work from home. I thought about how cool it would be to learn about all different sorts of topics for my clients. I even fantasized about getting rich doing something I love to do. Working from Home Most of those fantasies turned out to be a bit far-fetched. Don’t get me wrong, working from home certainly has its advantages. I was available to comfort the baby if she got fussy, for example. On the other hand, my dreams of merrily typing away at the computer as she lounged in the bassinet were dashed when I discovered that my darling daughter wanted to be held ALL THE TIME. So, in order to be able to get anything done, I started paying someone to come to my house and entertain her while I scrambled to write SEO articles about burglar alarms and web content for interior decorators and any other number of completely random topics required of me for the day. There have been times when I’ve been more than a little bitter about shelling out cash so that someone else could watch TV and hold the baby as she napped. But, it was the only way to WORK. Acquiring Knowledge As for learning about new subjects, that has been interesting. I can tell you more than the average lay person about how to make your own tattoo needles or the benefits of eating alkaline foods. It’s been fascinating to learn about near-death experiences and cancer treatments. I’m well-versed on the art of beekeeping and have a decent understanding of the history of urban fashion. Sometimes, though, I worry that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. At the moment, I’m ghost writing a book on a very technical subject. It’s a how-to for folks who want to get involved in a certain profession. This is a profession that I’ve not only never engaged in, but one that I would never, ever want to try. Learning what I need to know to write this book is WORK. Getting Rich Like most freelancers I know, there’s the constant worry over how much to charge. If I don’t ask enough, then how am I going to pay the Mother’s Helper? If I ask too much, then how am I going to pay the Mother’s Helper? Finding the balance here is WORK. Kind of funny, when you think about it, how much work goes into finding work. No, I’m not getting rich at what I’m doing. I’m making enough to pay for my childcare and to put extra payments toward my student loans. I’m even thinking of starting a retirement plan. I suppose that’s not too bad for someone who only has about 15 hours a week to devote to her job. I have come to the realization that I could probably make a lot of money, if not actually make it to the level of “rich,” but, doggone it, that would take an awful lot of WORK. Doing What I Love Ah, yes. Here’s where it all becomes clear. This whole freelancing gig may be harder than it looked on the surface, but the fact of the matter is that I am making a reasonable amount of money doing something that I enjoy and that I know I’m good at. Not everyone can say that. Sure, it’s intimidating, and writing a technical how-to book on a subject I know nothing about is scary; but it sure beats the heck out of standing on an assembly line or flipping burgers. With that said, I’d better stop blogging and get back to the book. Oh, and how cool is it that writing this post gets chalked up as WORK?

Wordy Wednesdays - Double Ds

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 12:04:22 +0000

On blogs all across the Internet, this day of the week is considered "Wordless Wednesday." Bloggers post a picture rather than text and hope to get others to think. I always kind of sucked at Wordless Wednesday. I'd find a great picture and then want to comment on it, share my reasons for posting it, or whatever. What can I say, I string words together for a living. So, I decided to implement my own "Wordy Wednesday" feature on the Other Stuff Blog. Instead of posting a picture, I'll post some sort of word game, and we can all play along and thumb our noses at the other kids. Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answer in the comments without looking at what other people have said.

_goraphobi_
_earl_
_axi_
_hirtles_

A Writer's Pet Peeves

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:45:58 +0000

I recently got a rather…hm, how shall I put this…Let’s say a rather “brusque” comment here on the Other Stuff blog. It seems that in sharing my desire to spend a holiday in/on Maui, I managed to annoy the ever-living daylights out of one of my readers. Apparently, she lives IN Hawaii (which I've been assured is OK to say because it’s a group of islands, not just one) and she says “my skin crawls” when someone says they are interested in being “in” Maui, rather than being “on” Maui. It seemed a little odd to get bent out of shape enough to post about the issue, but to each their own, right? That got me to thinking about the little grammatical issues that bug the heck out of me, and I thought I’d share a few of them here. I’d love for you all to add your two-cents’ worth.

When people say they’re “humbled” by an experience when they really mean that they’re “flattered.” Saying you’re humble when you mean you’re flattered is incredibly un-humble.
Misusing the word “literally.” If you don’t know what it means, don’t say it at all.
People who leave comments on blogs that should actually be sent as private emails. (This isn’t a pot-shot at the commentator, but she did remind me of it.) I once had a guy publicly (online) point out a mistake I made and then ask me to hire him to do marketing for my company. Um, no.
Using random, commas, because you think, maybe one should go, here and better safe, than sorry.
When people hold up signs at political rallies that are misspelled. I know not everyone is a great speller, but if you’re going to all the work of making a sign to publicly espouse your views, use a dictionary.
Using “then” when you mean “than” and vice versa. I’m as guilty as the next person of making these kinds of mistakes from time to time, but this one really annoys me for some reason.

So, what do you have for me, Internet? I know that you writers out there probably have a laundry list of these things, and I want to read every last one of them so I can either stop making that mistake or feel smug because I don’t.

Wordy Wednesday - Double Ds

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:09:52 +0000

Wherein I Tempt God to Strike Me Down

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:41:24 +0000

So maybe I’m just getting old and snarky, but I find that one of my favorite Christmas-time pleasures is getting less and less enjoyable as the years go by. I chalk at least part of it up to being a word-nerd. I guess my hard-learned ability to analyze what I’m reading and hearing has come around to bite me in the you-know-what. Each year I love listening to Christmas songs. We start the day after Thanksgiving, and I’ll admit that we’ve usually had our fill by the day after Christmas. Still, if you come to our home or get into our cars during those four intervening weeks, your ears will be assailed by various incarnations of A Very Special Christmas, Johnny Cash singing the classics, and even a fun Christmas album put out by The Squirrel Nut Zippers. (Yeah, we’re eclectic like that.) But this year, I’ve started listening more closely to the words, and I’ve discovered that Christmas carols aren’t all sunshine and puppies. Here are a few examples: Santa Baby – To be so brazenly flirting with an unattractive overweight man to get what you want is bad enough, but this guy is married. Find yourself another sugar daddy, you homewrecker! And at Christmas time, too. Shame, shame. The Christmas Song – (You know, the “chestnuts roasting on an open fire" one.) Sure, “ninety-two” rhymes with “you,” but that sure seems like an arbitrary age to stop wishing people a merry Christmas. My grandma’s 95, so apparently she doesn’t warrant wishes for good cheer and all that from whomever is singing. That’s just ageism. The lady is ancient, and she deserves holiday wishes as much as those between one and ninety-two. Baby, It’s Cold Outside – I'm pretty sure they've enacted laws against this type of behavior. “No” means “no” already. She’s given the guy every excuse she can come up with, including implicit threats that her brother and father are gonna kick the guy’s butt, but he still keeps pushing. If the girl had better self esteem, she’d kick him where it counts. The Twelve Days of Christmas – The only reasonable performance of this song is for a grade-school Christmas pageant where you need to put a whole bunch of kids in cute costumes for their parents to photograph, but you don’t want to go to the effort of actually having to come up with a plotline. Otherwise, who ever, ever makes it all the way to the end of the song? Every year I discover that I pretty much have no idea what comes after "eight maids a-milking." O Holy Night – Actually, I think this song is really beautiful. The hyperbole is a bit much (since there are religions preceding Christianity, I assume the soul felt its worth before the whole baby-in-a-manger thing), but I love it anyway. It’s like someone wrote a love song about a day, and sung by the right person, it can pretty much reduce me to tears. We Wish You a Merry Christmas – This one starts out nicely enough, but then they get to that whole “figgy pudding” part and ruin it all. First of all, figgy pudding sounds pretty awful. Secondly, to declare “we won’t go until we get some” is not only ungracious, it flies in the face of the Christmas spirit. Spoiled brats. The Little Drummer Boy – I know this is kind of nit-picky (unlike all the things I’ve already said, right?), but the whole “then he smiled at me” thing is a crock. It takes a couple of months for a baby to smile; I know because I did everything short of standing on my head to try and get my own infant to give me some sort of non-verbal cue that her life didn’t completely suck. That said, it was the Baby Jesus, and considering the stories about him brining people back to life and healing the blind, I will admit that smiling early might not be completely out of the realm of his abilities. Walking in a Winter Wonderland - Gee, I almost forgot to mention the one that broke my heart. When I first heard the song, I felt kind of sad for the snowman because the singer was only going to play with him "until the other kiddies come around." Imagine how distraught I was when I heard the actual version and realized the danger wasn't in being left alone, rather the words were "until the other kiddies knock him down." Yeah, I cried when Frosty melted, too. So, now that I’ve ensured my own smiting, I’ll close by saying that I hope you are all having a great Holiday Season, whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule, or some other winter holiday!

Gifts for Writers with a Sense of Humor

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:51:24 +0000

I've recently taken to catalog shopping. I suppose it's more like catalog window shopping, as I have yet to actually purchase anything for fear of getting on 150 mailing lists before my purchase ever even makes its way to me. Still, I've been having a lot of fun seeing just how much junk is being hocked by mail. Don't get me wrong, there's some really good stuff, too. I recently came across the funniest t-shirt ever nestled in among the Snuggies and tea pots shaped like roosters.

It totally appeals to my snobby writer side!

This got me to poking around on the Internet, because I was supposed to be writing for a client and am easily distracted at these times, and I found a few more good ones for the writers on your holiday shopping list.

I'm thinking of starting a collection of these sayings. If you've got a good one, leave it in the comments so we can all get a good laugh!

Wordy Wednesday - Free Rice

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:21:01 +0000

For this week's Wordy Wednesday post, I'm going to send you to one of the biggest and best time sucks a word-nerd can find online. It's called Free Rice, and it is addictive. Oh, and for a good cause, too. At the site, they will give you a word with four possible definitions. You choose the right one. For every one you get right, ten grains of rice get donated to feed the hungry. It doesn't seem like a lot, but if you play for a few minutes, it adds up to a couple of cups of rice. I suspect you'll play for more than a few minutes, though. (Insert evil mwa-ha-ha-type laughter here.) Seriously, though, try it out. Soooo fun: http://freerice.com/

Unnecessary Quotes of the Day

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:40:11 +0000

A while back, I posted about some of my biggest grammar/blogging-related pet peeves. One of my friends told me that she takes exception to misused quotation marks. Apparently, she's not the only one, as there's an entire website devoted to misused quotation marks seen in public places. I love the fact that under each picture, they explain what the sign actually means when the quotation marks are taken into consideration.

Zak suggests, "Either they are selling rotten meat, or DJ Jazzy Jeff is behind the grill."

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotes.

Wordy Wednesdays

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 12:03:38 +0000

If you haven't been paying attention over the last few weeks, I'll sum up by saying that I was never very good at Wordless Wednesday and decided to reinvent the idea for those of us who actually love words. This week's game is a word scramble. Each of the groups of letters below can be unscrambled to create a word that is important to freelance writers. Can you get them all? I wish I had a timer feature on here, so we could compete based on time. Who am I kidding? It's Christmas Eve Eve, and there are, like, two people hiding out in the den checking FWJ today. Oh well. Have fun, you two!

mgrrmaa
tdie
ynapmet
hsogt irrwte
cjptore
lenybi
hrutao
siveer
rdwo nutoc
ttccoanr

Let's see how many you got in the comments section!

I Want this Gig

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:33:44 +0000

Do you ever hear about someone else's freelance gig and get all jealous? No? Um, me neither. Except for this one. I want Comcast to hire me to write their movie descriptions. There's a site called WTF Comcast where people have snapped pictures of some of the most entertaining descriptions they've run across. How much fun would it be to have this job? Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day coming up with alternate descriptions for some of my favorite (and least favorite) movies.

Wordy Wednesday at The Oatmeal

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 12:19:22 +0000

For today's Wordy Wednesday post, I have to send you to a different site (The Oatmeal) because I'm pretty sure I'd get sued if I tried to post this awesome poster here on FWJ. If you're a word nerd and hate it when people misspell certain things, then you should definitely check this out: Ten Words You Need to Stop Misspelling. Enjoy!

Wordy Wednesday

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:34:39 +0000

In my ongoing attempt to thwart the efforts of all those participating in the Wordless Wednesday meme, I've found a site that lets you play Hangman. Not only that, but there's a Shakespeare category. Let the nerdiness commence! http://www.superkids.com/aweb/tools/words/hangman/bard.shtml

Facebook FTW

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:54:47 +0000

So, I have this fairly strict rule of not allowing clients to follow me on Facebook. I say it’s fairly strict because there are technically three who do follow me: Deb Ng, who I think of more as a friend than a “client;” a local marketer, for the same reason; and a client I’ve had for years who friended me before I had thought of the rule. I thought it would be pretty rude to “unfriend” him after I came up with my hard-nosed approach, so I’ve just let that sleeping dog lie. It was actually this third guy who made me realize I should probably institute some sort of policy regarding clients, as well as the people who work for me. He messaged me via Facebook regarding a project one time, and it occurred to me that I didn’t really need my clients to see when I was stressing over deadlines, worrying about money, or simply goofing off on Facebook when I should be working on their stuff. Generally speaking, I use that particular social media platform as a place to catch up with college friends and post pictures of the baby so her grandparents can watch her grow. After last night, though, I’m starting to rethink that approach. You see, money is a little tight right now. I’m moving into a new office and will have rent to pay, and my work schedule was looking little bare for next week. What to do? Oh, I know, I’ll complain about it on Facebook! So, last night, I posted the following status update, thinking it wasn’t all that self-serving, since I knew that my clients wouldn’t be privy to it. “Dear Clients, I love the way you all have work for me to do at the same time, but it’s so sad and lonely in the in-between times when you’re all quiet. I’ve got mouths to feed, people. ;-) Love, Lorna Doone” Within 45 minutes, I had garnered between $700 and $1,100 worth of work! I went from that “Oh, god, I have nothing to do” feeling to that “Oh, god, I have too much to do” feeling (which I definitely prefer) in less than an hour. I'm pretty sure there's a lesson to be learned here, although I'm too stuck in my ways to change my approach now. Hmm, maybe it was The Secret…I put my desire out into the Universe, and it responded. Except, I don’t really believe in The Secret, so that’s probably not it.

Who Can Work When There's So Much to Do?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 23:34:23 +0000

What a week. What a freakin’ week. So, I got a little down in the dumps recently and decided that what I apparently needed to feel better was to completely upend my life. For some reason, I just feel better when things are clean and organized, and very few things in my life have been clean and/or organized lately. So, I started by creating a monstrosity of a to-do list. Seriously, the sucker is something like five pages long and includes stuff like “wash the moldings in the kitchen” and “take down Halloween decorations.” (Yes, I am aware that it is January.) One thing that wasn’t on my list was to change offices. My business partner decided that she just didn’t use our office enough to justify the expense, so we needed to let it go. My husband and I talked about the fact that the office is pretty much the only place I EVER go outside of my home (excluding my once-monthly Bunco game) and decided that I should probably go ahead and absorb the cost and get myself a new place to roost a few times a week. Yesterday was moving day. Fortunately, the offices are just down the hall from one another, so the only real issue was how to get the oversized couch out of one room and into the other. (Apparently the answer to the first half of that question was to gouge the door all up, while the answer to the second part was to take the new office door off its hinges.) After moving the furniture into every possible configuration, I’ve come across one that I think looks pretty good, so that’s a relief. Of course, now I have a whole new space that needs to be cleaned and organized. So, in the past week I have cleaned and organized most of the upstairs of my house, spent hours cleaning and organizing my basement, cleaned the bathroom, rearranged bedroom furniture, cleaned the blinds, and generally worked my way through about 30% of my to-do list, in addition to moving into a whole new office. Maybe tomorrow I’ll take down the Halloween decorations. Or maybe I won’t.

Wordy Wednesday

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:36:37 +0000

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answer in the comments without looking at what other people have said. 1. _scap_ 2. _inu_ 3. _ecorde_ 4. _itera_

The Most Ridiculous Job Posting of the Day Award

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 22:10:34 +0000

So, I've spent a little time today hitting the Guru.com job listings, and I am kind of grossed out. When my partner and I first started our business, we relied on that particular tool a lot to secure work. Mostly, it was because we didn't know where else to look. Since we've been in business, we've developed some great client relationships that started on Guru, so let me get that out of the way up front. On the other hand, there are some really, really stupid postings there. Like this one:

Hello Fellow Writers!*

I represent a company which launch and manage various websites. I Need GOOD AN, COMMITTED WRITER/S who value Quality and have respect for Deadline!**

This project is for 30 articles (500 words) and is a trial project, more projects will come for the right writer/s.

If you can’t write well in perfect English and can’t deliver at least 1-2 articles daily (more the better…without compromising with the quality), please excuse us!

Regular work for good quality writers who LOVE what they do…

Some of these articles will be posted to EzineArticles.com, and some will be published to our websites. so they will have to pass all copyscape.com testing and their strict editorial guidelines. I want these articles to have consistency with Keywords not exceeding 1 in 100 words. Definitely no keyword stuffing! Articles must read naturally and have quality information so the reader gets value out of the article. That's why the native writers will be preferred. I will own 100% exclusive rights to all articles after payment.

All articles will be proof read by me checked/published by my editor before approval. If there are any problems with them you will have to edit the articles.***

Articles must contain proper grammar and spelling in the US English language, if articles do not read fluently with proper grammar and spelling you will have to rewrite them.

Payment terms We want quality and quality comes with a price.**** Our rate for new writers is $1 per 100 words.***** However, the rate can increase I see you submit articles on TIME and your articles don't have any grammar or spelling mistake. I want writers for LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP.

I am looking for a long term business relationship; I will have plenty of work in the future.

Please bid for 30 articles of 500 words

Please bid with samples

Best of Luck!*****

*Let me start critiquing this little gem by saying that I didn't even know I had a problem with the salutation until I had read the whole thing. At that point, however, I was a little concerned about exactly what it takes to qualify as a "writer." Apparently, you don't need to know how to punctuate or to use any of the basic rules of grammar. **Ooh, I have respect for Deadline! But, only when it's capitalized. I also only value Quality when the upper case is used. ***Just a thought: Maybe the author of this particular piece isn't the best candidate to be proofreading other people's work. ****Yes, yes it does. *****This is so not the price. ******No, really. Best of luck to you, dude.

The Vices of Very Creative People - Part 1

Simon James — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:58:13 +0000

If you go through life free of bad habits, you won't live forever, but it will feel like it. In my neverending research into what makes a good writer, rather than me actually writing, a number of things began to present themselves about the way authors conduct themselves these days, certainly as opposed to the lives some of our predecessors. These days the early life of the writer is mostly disciplined and planned by demanding publishers. Especially when there are twenty authors waiting for their shot should one get a little too big for their britches after their first success. Back in the day there were certain vices that would sometimes give you the creative edge, such as: 1. BE A DRINKER Winston Churchill, as I've mentioned before, was a great fan of the booze. Champagne, Cognac, Gin, Beer, Cocktails etc. He seemed to have commanded the British forces whilst he was three sheets to the wind. He even remarked that he had taken more out of alcohol than alcohol had taken out of him. He, like many others, saw the sauce as a tool that fed the muse and encouraged the more random elements of social interaction. Hemingway saw it as a brain changer, a different plane to walk upon after traversing the typewriter keys all day. Of course this method isn't for everyone. Some may not have the constitution to live within such a physically damaging regime. However, those with the control over their vice and their muse may be able to pull it off. Mark Twain, for example, was a huge drinker but would go dry for weeks to prove to his detractors that he was the one that was in control of his loosening regime. However, you have to make the choice relatively early on whether to be a social drinker or a hidden tippler. Those who revel in the rich context of detailed characterisation need the succour of other people in which to finely hone their craft. F. Scott Fitzgerald would throw wild parties in which to observe and interact with others. His guests included luminaries such as Dorothy Parker and Gloria Swanson. So where does that leave us? The odd tipple in the afternoon? What about the school run and the daily grind? Drinking and the obvious need to live ones life is incompatible unless you have an army of servants or a VERY understanding partner. But what of the occasional snifter? A wee dram every now and again? Getting a little tipsy of a weekend? Well fine if you're in the full control of your capabilities but not when you're torn in the turmoil of a writer's block or some other such emotional distress. Alcohol can be a cruel mistress and a difficult one to stay on top of. You have a choice though, a bender every now and again may loosen the words inside you, for want of better vice, and you'd be in very distinguished company.

Awesome Low-Tech Design

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 03:28:10 +0000

As the wife of a bonafide GEEK who we regularly refer to as "gadget guy," I'm privy to a whole lot of upcoming technology. It was actually my hubby that introduced me to blogging, Facebook, podcasting, Wi-Fi, and a slew of other technological advancements. Most of them before there was much of a bandwagon to jump on, although they're now all common, everyday parts of life, aren't they? He bought me my Kindle, my Zune, my digital camera, my Blackberry, and all the other devices for which I now have to pack individual cords and chargers every time I leave home for more than an hour or two. So, I was excited when I got to be on the cutting edge this time and introduce him to this revolutionary piece of technology. I hope you all are paying attention, because it's going to be the next big thing.

Lewis Black on Writing a Book

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:40:57 +0000

Anyone out there identify just a bit too much?

Yes, I am a Whiner

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 00:31:33 +0000

s it spring yet? I’m one of those lucky people who are disproportionately affected by the seasons, and I have to say that I would sure like for spring to show up any old time now. I have friends in Texas and Louisiana who are bragging about 70-degree+ weather, and I want to physically hurt them. I’m sure it’s the lack of sunlight that’s making me feel so violent, and isn’t that a bit ironic? Of course, I know what’ll happen as soon as the sun comes out. I’ll hole up in my house or office, trying not to sweat to death and wishing it was just a little cooler. It happens every year, and it makes me feel like a whiny, bratty baby just as often. When I first started working from home, I had these grand ideas of how I would sit out in my yard in the summer, sipping cold drinks and tap-tap-tapping away on my laptop while surrounded by the smells of summer flowers in the garden and the sounds of birds chirping in the trees. What I discovered, instead, was that it’s far too bright to see the screen outside, my cold drink gets warm really quickly, and I have a yellow jacket infestation in my backyard. Still, I’m pretty sure that I’m ready for spring. I know the days are already getting longer, which is definitely nice. Whether or not that translates into a less cranky and mopey Lorna still remains to be seen. In the meantime, I’m going to sit around in my boots and long underwear and fantasize about how much better I’ll feel when summer comes. Until summer comes and I get all cranky and mopey from being too hot.

Wordy Wednesday - Double Ds

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:59:35 +0000

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answer in the comments without looking at what other people have said. 1. _rudit_ 2. _oly_ 3. _atharti_ 4. _ictate_

I'm Much Better in a Crisis

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 00:08:58 +0000

So, I’m at a strange place with my freelance writing. I seem to have exactly enough work to do. How is this possible? How can the scales have managed to balance in such perfect alignment? The truth of the matter is that is sort of freaking me out. Maybe it’s because I’m used to always being freaked out about having too much to do (how am I going to make all those deadlines?) or about not having enough to do (how am I going to pay the bills?), but I can’t seem to just sit back and appreciate a situation where I have precisely the amount of work I can do in exactly the number of hours I have available to do it. Oh, and at good rates, too. To be honest, I prefer to have too much on my plate because then I have the opportunity to pass work on to other members of our team. BUT. This isn’t so bad, either. I mean, it really beats the end of December when I was thinking, “Oh my god, I’m messing around on Facebook and I’m not putting off any work to do it.” (That is a scary feeling, my friends.) But, something just feels off. I don’t think I know how to survive without that perpetual terror nagging at me. As far as I can tell, I’ve really got nothing to be worried about right now, and I’m obsessing over that instead. I’ve heard people say that all writers are at least a little bit crazy, and I once again find myself lining up like a lemming to throw myself off the cliff of self-inflicted angst. Maybe I should go bid on some jobs or something.

Clients Just Hate Those "Yes Men"

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:38:35 +0000

In case it's not clear, that title is totally sarcastic. Do you ever notice how clients who really couldn't write their way out of a paper bag somehow have a whole lot to say about your professional writing? I usually try to take it in stride, perhaps gently pointing out that I've got a decent command on the language and that's precisely why they hired me. The worst was when I did some writing for a client's client. My client paid me, but her client didn't pay her, saying "It was garbage and I had to rewrite the whole thing myself!" I was completely insulted, as you might imagine. First of all, the job had been so "urgent," that I was literally working on it in the middle of the night. That said, the quality was still good, and I absolutely reject the notion that I have ever turned in an assignment that was "garbage." Sure, she may not have liked it, but it certainly wasn't complete rubbish. If it was, I wouldn't have submitted it. (This is where I refrain from calling her off-color names.) It seems, there are just some clients who will never be satisfied. It doesn't matter if you do their urgent projects in the middle of the night and "meet" them on phone conferences for the first time at 11 p.m. the night before their big presentation (that they've now hired you to do) is due for submission. It doesn't matter that you are a professional who knows how to use punctuation marks and a persuasive tone. In fact, it doesn't even matter that you know what they hell you're doing and they don't. They're just never going to admit that you've done better than they could have. Of course, they would have to actually do the work themselves to prove it, and that's not going to happen, either. Monty Python knows what I'm talking about:

Top 10 Time Sucking Websites that Actually Rock

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:13:28 +0000

So, one of the things I like to do with this little blog is to direct you to fun diversions, or even to make up some of my own. Apparently, I'm too good at it, as after introducing my husband to several of my favorite time-sucking sites, he disappeared from the face of the planet. I'm now diving into the Internet to mount a search and rescue operation for him. I thought I'd do my part to help you find oblivion, too. You may already know some or all of these sites, but they're worth checking out every once in a while. Pretend it's research or something. ;-) 1. http://icanhascheezburger.com/: Lol Cats are hilarious and adorable. There's even sort of a whole reality over there, with Ceiling Cat, Basement Cat, and a variety of other inside jokes that will make sense after you've sacrificed most of your morning to deciphering the captions. 2. http://cuteoverload.com/: Aw, man. I forgot until just now that Cute Overload existed. That means there are months and months worth of adorable baby animals doing insanely precious things for me to catch up on. 3. http://failbooking.com/: I have been pretty much addicted to Facebook for more than a year now. Recently, I compounded my habit by adding daily visits to Failbooking. 4. http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/: NSFW. This site makes me cringe in fear for the future because I assume at least some of the text messages featured there are written by drunk, sex-crazed young people who will eventually become drunk, sex-crazed government officials. 5. http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/: Just when you thought your family was a trashy as it gets, here comes the People of WalMart site. My mouth has literally dropped open upon viewing some of the outfits people will wear out in public. 6. http://postsecret.blogspot.com/: People from all over the world anonymously write and illustrate their biggest secrets on post cards, hoping that they will be published on this website. (All the cards are changed once a week.) 7. http://jordanbaker.blogspot.com/: Dealing in Subterfuges is the blog of some lady in the DC area that I don't know. She writes on several topics, but I read it just for the snarky Project Runway and Top Chef reviews. It's a time suck, because she gets really detailed with the reviews, but her humor keeps me coming back. In fact, when I watch the shows, I often wonder if she's noticing the same things I am. Crazy, eh? 8. http://www.youtube.com/: Personally, I don't spend a lot of time on You Tube, but there's no doubting that it's an extremely entertaining way to suck away your work hours. Just ask Michael Scott. 9. http://failblog.org/: FAIL Blog is one of my very favorite websites on the entire Internet. People take and send in pictures of ridiculous things they see, apparently for my personal amusement. When something goes wrong, there's someone with a camera phone ready to PhotoShop the word "Fail" on it. 10. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/: From oddly posed to strangely candid, the photos on this site often make you go, "What the heck were they thinking?" Fun stuff, and again, it'll suck away a couple of hours of your life. Bonus sites: 11. http://thisisphotobomb.com/: Photobomb is a new site to me, but I'm guessing it'll be getting some traffic from my IP address now that I know it exists. You know how your kid brother can't help giving everyone "bunny ears" in family photos? This takes it to a whole different level. 12. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/: From the "thanks a lot for eating my sandwich out of the work fridge" to the truly, truly passive-AGGRESSIVE, this site is another where people snap pictures and send them in for me to enjoy. 13. http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/: It's pretty much what it sounds like. Crazy, ranty emails that make you feel like you're totally normal because you don't send people stuff like that.

My Job. Well, This Week, Anyway.

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 21:48:03 +0000

As a freelance writer, do you ever just sit in front of your computer and gloat to no one in particular about how awesome your job is? I just caught myself doing that as I reviewed what is on my calendar for the next two weeks. The variety of topics is actually kind of hilarious. Want a little peek into what my days look like? Here’s what I’ve got up my sleeve right now:

Two articles about funerals
Twenty articles about printers and toner
Ten articles about tattooing
A white paper on fundraising
One article on online event registration
Rewrite a company sales letter
Four more lessons for a marketing class
Four blog posts on green living
Four blog posts for FWJ
Two short articles about technology in nonprofits

I’ve often been known to tell people that my job is a lot like getting paid to do homework. Fortunately for me, I was always one of those nerds who thought researching and writing reports was tons of fun. Now I’m at a point in my life where people actually give me money to learn stuff. It can get overwhelming, though. Sometimes writing as an “expert” when you’re not actually an expert can be pretty challenging. I plan to get into that a little more in my next post, though, so I’ll skip it for now so as not to be redundant. And, yes, I know that I should focus on a niche and market myself there and become the best darned funeral article writer ever, but what are you supposed to do when people keep asking you to write about interesting stuff? That makes me curious about the variety of things other freelance writers work on at one time. Are any of you willing to share your crazy upcoming schedules with the rest of us? I’d love to know that I’m not the only one who takes this insane and totally cool approach to freelance writing.

Clearing My Conscience

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 23:55:40 +0000

As a freelance writer, I’m often called on to be an expert on all kinds of topics. Of course, I’m not really an expert on these things. As a result, I think I may have lost my ability to trust just about anything I find written anywhere, ever. I mean, I haven’t had a dog since I was in elementary school, and yet I’ve been tapped to ghostwrite articles on how to train search and rescue dogs. I can barely remember to take my pre-natal vitamin every day, but I write a lot of articles about the importance of health foods. I’ve written an entire book on tattooing but have spent a grand total of about 30 seconds in a tattoo shop in my entire life. Somehow, it just doesn’t seem right, does it? Ooh. You want to know what’s even worse? The people that I ghostwrite for often aren’t actually experts, either. I once wrote a how-to guide for people wanted to start a certain type of business. I’ve never been in that kind of business, and neither has the guy whose name actually went on the final product. I’ve written on a really wide variety of topics for that particular guy, too, and I don’t know that he’s actually engaged in any of the stuff he is teaching other people to do. I know I haven’t, and yet I’m the one writing about it. In the past couple of years, I have been an “expert” on a lot of things:

Marketing and how to DIY
Youth hockey
Fashion
Mediation
Job searching
Hypnosis

Of those topics, I’m not actually trained in any of them. Instead, I do the research and put it all together in a nice package. I’ve said before that my job is like getting paid to do homework, and this is a big reason why. Some days I feel like a fraud. Other days I’m so grateful for a job that lets me learn all about tattoo needles without having to actually get poked. The point of this post? I’m not entirely sure. Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest. Maybe I want absolution. Most likely I want someone to tell me that it’s OK. No matter what, though, I sure get to learn a lot of crazy stuff simply by being a freelance ghostwriter.

My Passive-Aggressive Plea to an Unnamed Client

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 08:49:44 +0000

Dear Client, Thank you so much for choosing to work with me. I’m pleased to hear that you are so ecstatically happy with the final results of our project. I agree that the work ended up being pretty damn good, and I hope that is reflected by the response you get from your upcoming presentation of it. That said, if we are going to work together again in the future, I think we may need to set some ground rules. I hope I’m not overstepping the bounds of the client-contractor relationship, as I certainly wouldn’t want you to feel like I was taking advantage of the fact that my work rocked, despite your ongoing attempts to sabotage it. So, before I agree to take on another large project on your behalf, here are a couple of things that will need to change: 1. When I say that I don’t work on a certain day of the week, that means that I don’t work that day. While appreciate that you agreed to include my additional childcare expenses on your invoice, that’s not really the point of my family-friendly work schedule. 2. If your project is so utterly urgent that I must work on my day off, then perhaps you should go ahead and follow up on your end of the project. On the other hand, I’m sure my other client appreciated the extra hours I was able to put in on their project when I was sitting around waiting for you to do what was necessary for me to do my job. 3. When I send you a bullet-point list of questions that absolutely must be answered in order for you to get your document, it would be helpful if you would simply answer them. • As a sub-point, I’d like to add that you do not score extra points for avoiding the questions for 36 hours and then calling a last-minute, two-hour meeting. • As a second sub-point, I should probably also mention that if you do call said meeting, you should use it to actually answer the questions on the BULLET-POINT LIST I already sent to you. 4. If we were to somehow end up in that same ridiculous situation again, then please pay attention when I send you the partial document, this time with the same missing pieces highlighted and clearly explained. 5. If you don’t give me the information I need at that point, could you go ahead and do it one of the next five times I send you various versions of the very same highlighted questions? ‘Cause that’d be really neat. 6. When you don’t follow through on any of the above things, I will not add yet ANOTHER unscheduled workday to my week…even though you once again have me add the childcare cost to your invoice. 7. If you say that you’re going to be available all day on the day that the project absolutely has to be done, why don’t you go ahead and respond in a timely manner to the essential questions I send to you? You know, the ones that were originally on the bullet point list and were then highlighted. I know that I’m good at what I do, and I very much appreciate that you recognize that. However, I cannot conjure statistics and strategies for an industry that is completely foreign to me while also creating a type of document I’ve never created before, all in the course of three days. I can expound on your information. I can make it sound great. I cannot, however, MAKE IT UP. I’m sorry to tell you, but you have to take some responsibility for getting the outcome you want. All right, Client. I’m feeling a little better now that I know we have everything cleared up for next time. I really do appreciate your money, and the project was quite interesting. With a few little tweaks to our working style, I think we could make a go of things in the future. Thanks so much for your attention to this matter, Me

Reality is Really Just Too Real

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 09:26:09 +0000

ETA: I realized that the way this was worded made it sound like I have about 80 kids. Really, it's just the one (until September, anyway). "Baby," "toddler," "little one," etc. are all referring to her. I used to say that I absolutely detested reality TV. I’d probably still be saying it, if I hadn’t recently made a list of the shows I actually watch and realized that the majority of them would fall into the genre I’ve long claimed to despise. Project Runway, Top Chef, My Life on the D List, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters, Intervention, Hoarders, Undercover Boss, What Not to Wear, and my recent addition: The Biggest Loser. No, I don’t watch all of these shows every week. I do actually have a family, a business, and…you know…a life. It kind of makes me wonder, though, how interesting would someone else find that life? If I had my own reality show, would people watch it, or would I go the way of The Osbornes? No, I don’t think I’m nearly as interesting as the Osbornes. Not even the dog that kept pooping on the floor, really. But, I do have my moments, and with a little creative editing, a freelance writer’s life could make kind of a cool reality show. So, in the spirit of Jordan Baker of one of my favorite blogs (Dealing in Subterfuges), here’s this week’s episode recap. Morning! At around 7 a.m., Lorna rolls over and begs the toddler to go back to sleep. Her compressed and pleading bladder reminds her that she’s pregnant, so she sneaks off to the bathroom, bribing the little one to stay in bed by promising to return with a bottle of “cow milk.” She returns, and tries not to breathe too loudly as the baby falls back asleep. 10 a.m. There’s no getting around it. We’ve just got to get up. More begging ensues as Lorna tries to convince the toddler that M&Ms are not a reasonable breakfast. Guiltily, she checks email and Facebook while Sesame Street softens the blow for the kid. Every few days Lorna gets to experience a shower (after begging again) if there’s a particularly riveting Elmo segment being shown. During sweeps week, the shower door will be thrown open by a tiny person, either scaring the stuffing out of Lorna or simply causing her to sigh and admit yet another bathing defeat. Cleaning flurry! After asking the toddler what she’d like to do today (the answer is always “play toys,” by the way), Lorna finds creative ways to convince the kiddo that we’re playing when we’re actually cleaning. Cut to a montage of mom running the big vacuum and baby running the little one, mom loading the dishwasher and warning (begging) the baby not to play with the knives in the silverware holder, and the two of them making a game of scrubbing spots off of the linoleum with diaper wipes. Next comes begging the kid to get out of pajamas and into real clothes. Some days go better than others. At the end of this episode, the little one very well may still be happily wearing pjs from the night before. If clothes were part of the day’s agenda, then a little outside play may be in order. Nice weather means long walks with the stroller, which are really just guided tours as the toddler points out every cat slinking, strutting, or lounging around the neighborhood…otherwise, it’s books and dancing and possibly a bit of terrorizing the family cats just to stay in good form. 12:30 p.m. The Mother’s Helper arrives. Lorna packs up the laptop and heads downtown to the office, stopping at some fast-food joint or another along the way. Yes, Big Macs and Soft Tacos Supreme are my personal shame. Tasty, tasty, shame. After about an hour of work, Lorna remembers again that she is pregnant, as the couch in her office grows more and more enticing. But, there’s website copy to write, blog posts to research, and white papers to develop. By 5:15, she’s ready to pack the laptop back up and head home. 5:30 p.m. Baby’s “Mama’s Home” radar magically goes off, and she wakes from her nap, pitifully requesting to nurse and likely rambling wildly and unintelligibly about whatever she happened to be dreaming. (Animals seem to be a common theme.) No, there will be no napping for Lorna yet again. 6:15 p.m. Husband arrives home from work. Because Lorna is a kept woman, she continues to entertain the little one as her husband solicits dinner requests. After ten hours at work, he cooks dinner and attempts to feign interest in the less-than-fascinating details of his wife’s day. (Sort of like you’re doing now, if you’re still actually reading this.) Both parents join forces in begging the toddler to please eat. At 8:30, husband and baby take a bath, and Lorna usually rushes to try to finish up a client project during this half hour to herself. To be honest, this may very well happen while a reality show plays on the television in the background. Next is getting the kiddo dressed in pajamas that she’ll likely wear all day tomorrow, and once again begging her to eat something…anything. After some bartering and bargaining, Lorna usually gets the kid to sleep by about 11:30 p.m. and then spends the next two hours taking care of any upcoming projects that she can get started and/or finished while utterly exhausted, but appreciative of the fact that she has a job that lets her spend this much time doing all the boring things outlined here. This can be substantiated by checking the time stamps on many of the posts on this blog. Between 1 and 2 a.m., I make my way to bed. With the husband’s snoring, the cat’s whining, the little one waking to nurse, and the bun in the oven requiring constant bathroom trips, she will basically take a series of short naps until about 7 a.m. when she will once again beg the toddler to please, oh, please go back to sleep for a while. So, I discovered about a quarter of the way through this post that my life is really not reality-show worthy, but I was already committed to writing the entire post. My apologies to Jordan Baker who would have been way more snarky and interesting. (In my defense, I really do think I'm funnier when I swear a lot.) Besides, I realized recently that there’s really no need to pitch my life to the network execs. After all, I have a Facebook account and a Flip video camera. It’s like having my own reality show, only instead of having producers who edit me to look ridiculous, I can do it all on my own!

These Analogies are Analogous to Analogies

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 06:35:49 +0000

As a writer, I can be a little snooty when it comes to choosing my words. As a reader, however, I can be either elated or completely turned off by the way an author turns a phrase. Some of my favorite authors are those who say things in such a surprising and unique way that it's almost a revelation of what language can do. Some of my favorites for this have included: Tim Robbins Christopher Moore Salman Rushdie Margaret Attwood On the other hand, I can't stand it when an author tries to force the words to do something. I think that being too heavy-handed with a metaphor is worse than leaving it out completely. I know that many of us get into writing for the very fact that we can string together all of our favorite flowery words, but the fact of the matter is that it can sometimes to more damage than good. Of course, when when you're learning the concepts of similies, metaphors, personification, and analogies, it's hard not to go overboard. A list went around the Internet a while back claiming to be bad analogies written by high school students and collected by teachers. There are some doozies posted here at Writing English. A couple of my favorites: John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. It turns out that there's more to the story...as well as more analogies when you learn that they were originally submissions to a humor contest by The Washington Post back in 1999.

Why I Don't Answer Ads for "Rewriters"

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 07:49:41 +0000

I know there's a ton of controversy going on in the freelance writing community regarding what kinds of jobs and pay freelance writers should accept. To be honest, the main reason I know about it is because Deb's been talking about it over on the main Freelance Writing Jobs blog. (See "Freelance Writing: The Great Divide.") Personally, I don't get too caught up in all the drama. I'm thankful to say that I'm actually too busy with my freelance writing gigs to worry too terribly much about what everyone else is up to. That said, there are certain freelance writing gigs that really, really annoy me. If an ad asks for someone to "rewrite" articles, for example, I tend to sneer and skip it entirely. I don't mind the idea of certain topics being rehashed in different forums, but when the client is more interested in the percentage of words in the new article that are different from those in the old article...well, I'm going to go ahead and be judgmental and condescending. Today, as I was researching for a client, I came face to face with exactly why this type of thing annoys me so badly. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you three different articles, all supposedly written by the same person. I won't publish all of the text here, but you're sure to get the point. Example One: "First, research and identify who your target clientele is, and what characteristics they share that make them valuable to you. If you have developed software that organizes and manages an online calendar, you probably will not want to target 14-year-old skateboarders. But it is not enough just to identify an age category or an activity your target market shares – you need to consider socio-economic status, buying habits, and potential for up-selling. I may be in Porsche’s target age group, but I am definitely not in their target tax bracket!" Not too shabby. I suspect this one was actually written by the author. The next two, however, are those ridiculous "rewrites." At best, they flood the Internet with pointless articles. At worst, they're often unintelligible. Example Two: "First, research and identify who your target patronage is, and what characteristics they share that do them valuable to you. If you have developed software system that organizes and manages an online calendar, you probably wish not want to target 14-year-old skateboarders. But it is not enough simply to identify an age category or an work your target market shares - you need to consider socio-economic status, buying habits, and potential for up-selling. I may be in Porsche's target age group, but I am decidedly not in their target tax bracket!" Example Three: "First, research and identify who your target people is, and what characteristics they share that do them valuable to you. If you have developed computer code that organizes and manages an online calendar, you probably wish not want to target 14-year-old skateboarders. But it is not enough simply to identify an age category or an work your target market shares - you need to consider socio-economic status, buying habits, and potential for up-selling. I may be in Porsche's target age group, but I am emphatically not in their target tax bracket!" And, just in case the various, slightly different versions of the article aren't annoying enough, there seem to be no less than a dozen instances of the same (or barely changed) article slapped up on all manner of sites. I find it kind of gross, to tell you the truth. (And, yes, I realize that I've now sort of added to the spamming with this particular article, but I just couldn't let it go.)

Shakespeare Has a Gay Old Time

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 08:18:51 +0000

I write SEO articles. I compose "about" pages. I turn resumes into executive bios. I admit that I am no Shakespeare. That said, I love me some Shakespeare. I have a BA in Theatre Arts, and my dream was to play Ophelia, preferably with the Theatre Department's heartthrob in the role of Hamlet. Because then he'd have to notice me, right? Of course, I found out years later that at least one of those heartthrobs was what they used to call a "confirmed bachelor." Yep, the guy playing the most macho roles known to drama was, in fact, gay. The folks over at Second City went ahead and re-envisioned what some of The Bard's most popular works would have looked like if he'd just gone ahead and written the "gay guy" right into the script. Ophelia, Desdemona, and Juliet could all have benefited from the wisdom of a "Sassy Gay Friend." And, yes, I do realize that I am past my Ophelia prime. It'll be years before I'm too old to play Gertrude, though...

I'm a Writer - I Can Rationalize Anything

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 23:33:20 +0000

As a freelance writer, do you ever find yourself breaking the rules of the working world? I don’t mean that you necessarily do sub-par work, mind you, just that things get done a little differently than they would if you had a boss watching over your shoulder? For example, I just left a doctor’s appointment—one that I had scheduled during regular work hours. When I headed back out to the car, it struck me that rather than picking up some fast-food fare and eating at my desk, I really wanted to go to this one particular restaurant. These two events are not unrelated, by the way. The appointment was with my OB, and the restaurant serves a spectacular broccoli-cheddar soup that I seem to be craving with some regularity during this pregnancy. “But, I need to be responsible,” I chided myself. “I need to get some work done.” “Sooooooouuuup,” pregnant me responded the way a zombie would plead for brains. “All right, all right,” I started to relent. “Let me at least look at my schedule.” I sat in the parking lot at the doctor’s office and fired up my laptop. “Aha!” cried soup-deprived me. “There’s something right there that doesn’t require Internet access. I can sit at the table and work on that while waiting for my soooooooouuup.” I double-checked my to-do list and made a few calculations regarding the number of hours available before I have to go relieve the babysitter in comparison with the number of hours worth of work I need to accomplish in that timeframe. Hungry, pregnant me tried not to gloat as I realized that there was, in fact, at least one small project I could work on in the quiet restaurant. “OK,” I conceded, “but there are two conditions. One: You have to order a salad, too, to make up for that basket of fried stuff you had for dinner.” “You got it.” “And two: If you’re going to make writing a blog post into an excuse for eating out, you’d better at least be funny.”

Lorna’s Top Ten Movies about Writers

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 12:07:17 +0000

Because movies are written by, well, writers, it’s not hard to figure out why so many of them are about, well, writers. While there are plenty of classics out there to choose from, I realized “Hey, this is MY blog. I don’t have to be all hoity-toity about it.” Instead, I’ve compiled a list of my all-time favorite movies about writers. No, you won’t find The Hours listed here…I’m afraid it just didn’t “do it for me.” No, you’ll probably not find Funny Farm on a whole lot of “best of” lists, but there are scenes from that movie that have lived with me for 20 years, so it’s on here. 10. Misery, The Dark Half, Secret Window – We’ll just go ahead and get a bunch of the Stephen King movies out of the way. I can’t actually say that any of these are my “favorites,” but considering that King was the first “grown up” author I was allowed to read, I have a special place in my heart for him. You will notice, however, that two more of his movies about writers did make my list separately. 9. Wonder Boys – To be honest, I remember very little about the plot of this movie because I was so enamored with Toby McGuire at the time. Still, I do recall thinking that the movie itself was really cool. I’ll have to go back and watch that again, now that I think of it. 8. Funny Farm – I think a big reason that this movie was so funny to me was that, like Chevy Chase’s character, my family had recently moved from the city to a small “idyllic” American town and discovered it was kind of a horror show. My two favorite scenes: Him taking his wife on a romantic overnight only to force her to spend it reading his (terrible) manuscript full of flash-forwards, flash back-wards, and even a flash sideway. The other was when they got a dog that was so mellow they had to pick its tail out of the fireplace with tongs. 7. Tom and Viv – TS Eliot was one of the first poets whose work I ever really “got,” and therefore, I love him. This movie about his relationship with his supposedly “crazy” wife was fascinating. If I remember correctly, she actually had a hormone imbalance that could be easily treated today. Instead, she ended up institutionalized. 6. Shakespeare In Love – This movie came out just as I was finishing up my Bachelor’s Degree in Theatre, and I felt really, really smart when I was the only one laughing at certain jokes because I was “in the know.” It was also written by a playwright I just loved at the time, so that made me feel extra cool. Oh, and the movie was good, too. 5. As Good as it Gets – This movie was just full of brilliant performances. I’d never seen Greg Kinnear as anything other than that funny guy on Talk Soup, so I was especially blown away by the drama of his character. And then there was Jack Nicholson’s awesome brand of crazy. All around good stuff. 4. The Shining – All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I even liked the re-made mini-series, especially because it incorporated the freaky topiaries instead of relying on the maze. 3. ‘Salem’s Lot – This movie isn’t going to win any modern awards for special effects, but when I was 12, it scared the hell out of me. No, really. I slept with a crucifix next to my bed for years. Oh, and there’s also the special torment my parents doled out during our second viewing of the movie, but I don’t want CPS to get retroactively involved, and I’ve paid for all the therapy I’m going to over that incident. 2. Moulin Rouge! – I was just so blown away by the creativity of this movie. The way they cobbled together modern lyrics to create a cohesive storyline was something I’d never imagined, the costumes and dancing were right up this theatre geek’s alley…and Ewan McGregor. That is all. 1. Adaptation – Oh my gosh. This movie sort of blew my mind. The irony offered by the narrative versus the action was absolutely brilliant, even if they did go out of their way to make it obvious in that one scene with the professor. It probably didn’t hurt that I was both a writer and deeply depressed when I watched it. I may have identified a bit too much with Nicolas Cage’s main character. Totally brilliant movie.

Using Facebook for Something Other than Showing Off My Kid

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 00:14:48 +0000

So, do you let your clients follow you on Facebook? I’ve been loathe to do it. Frankly, I don’t want them to know about my addiction to online Scrabble or the fact that I’m often up at 1 a.m. commenting on my friends’ posts for the day. Also, I like to have that little bit of personal space, like when you’re at a Junior High dance and the chaperones shove balloons between you and your dance partner to make sure that your naughty bits don’t touch. I really, really don’t want anything to do with my client’s naughty bits. On the other hand, my marketing pro keeps pushing the idea of using a “fan page” to keep in touch with clients and maybe even to cross-promote them to one another. While I’m pretty sure that my professional psychic client isn’t going to have a whole lot of use for my Christian-based merchant services client, I can see the value in some of the other folks mingling a bit. On the non-existent third hand, I also like the idea of having easy access to all of my clients at once. If things get a little slow, maybe I could use my fan page to announce a “special” rate to anyone who comes up with a project to go on my calendar for the next week. Or, perhaps I can convince them to get their friends and family to join my fan page so our company looks super popular. Having watched others while ~~putting off the inevitable~~ being cautious this long, I have been able to learn some DOs and DON’Ts that I can employ, so that’s good. For example, I won’t post the same exact things to my fan page and my personal account. Unless they’re really super cool, of course. I also won’t ask people to join my fan page more than once a week. Oh, and I definitely won’t be linking to this blog from there. I figure that if clients want to go to the trouble of finding out what I’m doing online, then they can read this blog and hopefully get a chuckle. There are some, however, who might not totally appreciate some of the not-so-nice things I’ve said here in the past, so I’m letting fate and the Google gods weed them out as much as possible. The great Facebook Fan Page experiment has begun. So far my dad’s left a really nice comment, and people with absolutely no interest in what PCI compliance is all about have still given me a thumbs-up when I mentioned I was writing about it. Of the 48 current fans, I believe that only one actually qualifies as a client, and the rest are supportive friends and family. Let’s hope that ratio gets skewed in a different direction as time goes by, eh?

Possibly the Worst Freelance Writing Job Ad of All Time

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 12:30:58 +0000

Here on the Other Stuff blog, I occasionally like to share with you some of the most ridiculous ads I find calling for freelance writers. Usually, these ads are poorly written, offer little to no money, or really don't care about the quality of the work to be done. The following, however, hits the trifecta. I can say one thing for it, though. It's hard to work up too much ire when the whole thing is only two lines long. Here is the description, in it's entirety: "I am looking for freelance article writers who can write small articles of about 50 words. There are 270 articles and I will pay $27 for these. The quality of articles doesn't matter. It can be in simple English." So, this person, who doesn't care about the quality of the "articles," is willing to pay ten cents a piece for them. That's a whopping $0.002 per word. As the resident snarky FWJ blogger, even I am rendered speechless by this one. What's more? At least one freelance writer who seems to have a good command of the English language and claims to have 20 years of experience has actually applied for the job. Man, times must really be tough.

Stop Typing Alot

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 11:00:52 +0000

There are plenty of common spelling and grammar errors that seriously annoy me when I come across them. One of the mistakes that really makes me twitch, though, is when people type "alot" instead of "a lot." Unlike some of the other common mistakes (their/there/they're, your/you're), "alot" is simply indefensible. You're not mistaking it for another similar word. Instead, you're typing a word that does not exist. If this particular error bugs the jeepers out of you, too, then you should definitely check out this...hm, what to call it? Cartoon? Narrative? I'm not sure, but there's this blog called Hyperbole and a Half, and while there's plenty of profane language there (not that I care, I'm just warning you), it is hilarious. My first introduction was this explanation ("The Alot is Better Than You at Everything") of why the author is not longer annoyed when she runs across uses of "alot." Once you read it, you'll see the title of this post a little (or a lot) differently.

The Phrase I Hate

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 11:12:15 +0000

So, there’s this phrase that comes up all the time on freelancing blogs. You’ve probably heard it. You’ve possibly even used it. If you’re like me, you also detest it. That phrase is “feast or famine.” “Feast or famine” is used to describe the freelancing phenomenon wherein you either have tons of work to do all at once, or there’s just nothing at all. You might also be familiar with the term “when it rains it pours.” Of course, that also means that there are some droughts along the way. I hate the phrase “feast or famine” for a few reasons, the first of which is that it’s just plain overused. If you did a search on any given freelance writing blog, it’ll probably pop up. Heck, I’ve already used it three times on this one, and I hate it. The biggest reason I can’t stand that trite phrase, however, is because IT’S TRUE. Grr. Of course, that’s awesome during those “feast” periods. At those times things are all hunky-dory and stuff. The worst that happens then is that you worry about missing a deadline or maybe even have to manage some extra help for a while. But the “famine…” Man, that stuff sucks. I hit one of those recently, and I am happy to be on the upside of it. There were some nice aspects, I guess. I had a lot of time to work on a personal project that’s been on the back burner for nearly a year. That was really exciting. On the other hand, I have bills to pay, and puttering around with my little hobby website is not going to write checks. (At least not any time soon.) It’s time to implement some marketing changes and do what I can to avoid the freaking out I’ve been dealing with over the last couple of weeks. So, as far as I’m concerned, this whole “feast or famine” thing can just go ahead and suck it.

Ridiculous Freelance Ad of the Week

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:10:12 +0000

It’s time to share the Ridiculous Freelance Ad of the Week. Let me tell you, I came across some doozies. In fact, I’ll have to save some of them for later, since I had to copy and paste them because they were too asinine to simply ignore altogether. I won’t tell you specifically where I’m finding these, but let’s just say that there are probably more of these kinds of ads than decent ones there. It’s a little frustrating when you’re looking for gigs, but it’s a goldmine when you like to point out potential employer stupidity on your blog. Today’s ad looks pretty good, actually, until you get to the very bottom: Winning bidder will write an ebook on various methods of marketing to drive LOCAL traffic to local church squeeze page/list opt-in page to receive a free offer. Target market: churches. You will include strategies, with some step-by-step, for using craigslist, newspaper classifieds, direct mail and the like. You will also provide some suggested sample ad copy that they might use for each. Thus, some marketing experience will bode well in your favor for this job. You must do the research as well as the writing. The ebook will be no more than 30 pages, no less than 25 pages, font no larger than 12 pt Arial, double-spaced lines, margins no larger than 1" on all sides. 30 pages does not include title page, table of contents and other backmatter. Your work needs to be HIGH quality and content rich, no fluff. You need to have exceptional skills in English grammar, punctuation, spelling and structure. Applicants must: 1. Have an excellent command of the written English language 2. Complete work in a timely manner 3. Good research skills 4. Experience in marketing writing is highly favorable; note it in your bid if it is the case for you 5. Good Microsoft Word skills 6. Have access to IM services such as Skype or Google Talk Please send samples of your writing (x2) Please note: all samples given must be ORIGINAL. This is a ghostwriting job. We will retain all copyrights to final deliverable. This project is due within 4 days of awarding. So, did you catch that? Basically, this ad says, “I would like you to research and write this 25 to 30 page information product with samples from numerous outlets…Oh, and you get a whole four days to do it.” Four days? Four days! Four days? I’d say something witty here, but I can’t get past those two words. I mean, even if you didn’t happen to have anything else going on, who could put together a decently researched 30-page report in four days? (Other than a No-Doze swilling college student with graduation on the line, that is.) People are crazy, I tell you.

Flame Away, Fancypants

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:58:17 +0000

I spend a fair amount of time on this blog making fun of so-called “employers” who think it’s totally reasonable to pay decent writers a pittance for their hard work. I’ve heard every argument for why they can get away with this. New writers need some way to get started, and these gigs get their foot in the door. What seems like a ridiculously small amount of money to my bourgeoisie self may be a fortune to someone in another country. Blah, blah, blah. Today, I want to look at the other side of the equation, though. I want to know what is up with writers who charge incredibly high fees for their work. I’ve worked with a couple of coaches now who have encouraged me to go after higher paying gigs. That sounds like a great idea, although it does require a ton of effort on my part to break out of my comfort zone. There’s fear and insecurity, and to be honest, a fair amount of good old fashioned laziness holding me back. There’s something else, though. I kind of think some of these other writers are ripping off clients. I’m not one for creating controversy on the web, but someone has to say it. How exactly do you justify a $400 press release? I know several writers who charge in that neighborhood (and if they have any extra work, they’re certainly welcome to send it my way). I, on the other hand, don’t charge nearly that. I’ve also seen a lot of arguments for not accepting less than $60 for a blog post. That’s awesome and all, and I’m all in favor of finding those kinds of clients, but I do think it’s a bit odd. I guess I’m wondering what on earth they put into those press releases and blog posts. I write a lot of press releases, and I think the quality I send out is generally far higher than even the client expected. At most, I’d say a press release, with a phone interview of the client, takes about two hours. Are these highly-paid writers putting in more than that? Do they know some magic formula that clients are paying them $200 an hour to employ? And $60 blog posts? We’re talking like typical 350-500 word blog posts, right? These generally require a bit of Internet research and some personal insight, and voila! Blog post. Even if you’re not familiar with the topic at first, you’re going to learn as you go along and get faster and more efficient. There are some posts I’ve written that have taken a lot of time, but I would say most are in the ½ hour range. So, that’s $120 an hour for blogging? Sounds like great work if you can get it, but I’m just incredulous that people actually do. So, I’d love to hear from those of you who get this kind of dough, especially the ones who disparage newer writers for not charging as much. I want to ask where you get off putting people down for not earning in excess of $100 an hour. I also want to ask you where you find those clients with so much money to spare. I think I’m a damn good writer, and I’m pretty pleased when I make $30 to $50 an hour. I used to be happy with $10 because it replaced the crappy job I left to be a writer.

Ridiculous Freelance Ad of the Week

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 04 May 2010 11:26:29 +0000

I'm finding that when I post these insulting ads, I have less and less to say about them. I mean, how many ways can you call someone a "cheapskate," anyway? That doesn't mean that I don't still find them infuriating, or in cases like this one, downright flabbergasting! "Definitons are needed for a new and upcoming tech website. 200+ definitions need to be typed an hour in order to truly earn pay. Computer and technical definitons are what is needed. These will go through review as well before approved. They must be your words and only 1 to 2 lines each. These definitions must be in English please contact us on your website at www.xxxxxxx.com" Let me make sure I get this straight...you need technology-related definitions that are going to require at least a modicum of research, but you admit that a person will need to write more than 200 of them in an hour to "truly earn pay." According to my completely unscientific findings, the average page in Word includes 49 lines of type. Let's split the difference and say that each definition takes 1.5 lines and then multiply that by the 200 needed per hour to "earn pay." That means you need to type 300 lines per hour, which is equivalent to approximately six pages an hour. Another way to look at it is to consider that the average line of text is 10 words long, resulting in the need to research and write 3,000 words every hour in order to "truly earn pay." Riiiight. To be fair, we don't actually know how much is being offered, but let's just say that I wouldn't anticipate a very big number.

Typos of Doom

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 12 May 2010 20:00:06 +0000

I'll admit that I judge people by they way they write. I try not to, but it's really hard for some reason. I make assumptions about people based on spelling and punctuation. I cringe when I read Facebook updates that misuse homonyms, use apostrophes to pluralize, or simply forgo punctuation altogether. Of course, we all make typos from time to time. I'm definitely guilty of it, and I am aware that I'm probably being judged, too. Typos may not seem like any big deal, but it turns out that there are some that have actually changed the world. From an $85 million "hyphen" to a misplaced decimal that still influences encyclopedia entries, this post at Cracked.com highlights some of the doozies. (By the way, there's some swearing and stuff, so don't say I didn't warn you.) The Seven Most Disastrous Typos of All Time

Ridiculous Freelance Writing Ad of the Week - Cheap Bastard Double Feature

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 14 May 2010 11:40:59 +0000

Just in case you don't want to take the time to read this ad, I'll go ahead and paraphrase it for you: Hi, I'm cheap, can't use spell check, and want you to embody the ethics I don't have. While I don't have time to haggle for more than $2 an article, I have plenty of time to run your work through "every possible paid software there is." Hi all, Please read the directiions carefully before applying and make sure you can meet all of them. - I need content for my sites, which should be around 500 words or so(per article). - Pay per article is $2 per arrticle to start and will be increased with time. - Please do not submit proposals over $2, since I do not have the time and patience to bargain. - The articles will be put through every possible paid software there is and I will be more than happy to send you the screenshots of the same for your referen Please submit samples of your work and let me know the realistic amount of articles you can submit per week. Thank you! Of course, if you'd rather go for quantity, this employer is looking for someone who can write 15 articles a day for a dollar each. Don't worry, though, as long as you "are really good," you might get bonuses, so I'm sure it's all worth it in the end, right? Hi, i need a writer who can write 15x300 words articles each day. I need a someone that i can trust and that will make 100% original articles , no spelling errors and that can meet dead-lines. The price is 1$ for each article, but I can raise the rate if you are really good. If the articles are very good I will give you bonuses. Please bid if you can start working ASAP. Thanks!

I'm Spoiled and Whiney, In Case You Hadn't Noticed

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 20:43:21 +0000

I remember when I first started this freelance writing thing. I was working from a rickety table that was literally about 12” x 18” that was wedged in between my television and the corner of my living room. I feel comfortable describing the table as “rickety,” because I actually built it in Jr. High School woodshop *mumble mumble* years ago. I was busy pounding out tedious product descriptions for something like a dollar a piece and hoping to someday make it to a full-time income. My next stab at freelancing included an actual desk, in the corner of a different living room. I typed away as my pregnant belly forced me to sit farther and farther from the keyboard each week. There were cords everywhere, and I delighted in the fact that I could watch Oprah while writing SEO articles. I was up to about $5 a piece at this point. I now know that I have become completely spoiled. Some time ago, I got my own office. Actually, I shared it with my business partner, but she was never there, so I had two couches, two desks, two garbage cans, two bookshelves, and the beautiful décor all to myself. I turned the radio to the classical music station every day so as not to be distracted by songs with words in them and sat down to get real work done. At this point, I was making about $0.10 a word. Today is my first day in my new office. Everything is a shambles. There’s nothing on the walls, and the furniture is scattered willy-nilly until I can take the time to move it into every possible configuration to determine which pleases my own personal sense of feng shui the best. And it’s driving me crazy. How did I used to write on that little table that constantly threatened to spill its contents on the floor? How did I get anything done with Oprah giving away cars in the background? Right now I’m distracted by the smell of paint, so I really don’t know how I used to work from home with an infant clamoring for attention! I guess the goal this week needs to be to work as fast as possible so that I have a little time at the end of each day to move stuff around and hang my pretties on the wall. I may even reward myself at the end of each finished project by taking five or ten minutes to putter around in the new space. Hm. Writing a blog post counts, right? Clearly this means that I can at least go set up my stereo so the classical music can soothe some of this agitation away…

I'm Not the Only One Who Enjoys a Good English Quiz, Right?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 00:06:35 +0000

So, I'm always on the lookout for fun stuff on the Internet that will be of particular interest to writers. I don't know how I've missed this one, so far. First of all, I had no idea you could be interactive with YouTube videos. Secondly, I've seen other stuff featuring this guy but didn't realize he had this Truth or Fail thing. I'm tempted to take it again so I can hear the responses to the opposite answers. I only got 3 out of 5 correct. How did you do?

Test Your Word-Nerd Abilities

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:40:59 +0000

OK, I supposed "word-nerd" might apply more aptly to games that test your grammar skills. These quizzes, on the other hand, are all about literature. I cannot believe how many of them there are out there. I may never get any work done again. Perhaps we should set up some sort of competition amongst FWJ readers to see who knows the most about their favorite authors or books. Fun Trivia's Literature Quizzes So far I've taken quizzes for Clan of the Cave Bear and A Handmaid's Tale. I am officially cutting myself off for the day, because things could take a ridiculous turn for the unproductive. I'm pretty sure you can even create your own quizzes. You know, in case sitting around all day taking them isn't geeky enough for you.

Why Hast Thou Failed Me, Personal Sense of Responsibility?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 21:36:15 +0000

I've been having a really hard time with motivation lately. I'd like to blame the weeks and weeks of dreary weather (seriously, this is EASTERN Washington, not Seattle), or the move to the new office (still nothing on the walls), or the bun in the oven (did I mention yet that it's a girl?), but I don't know that any of those things gets full blame. So, this week has been about avoiding procrastination and just getting things done. You know what's a great/terrible way to procrastinate/not procrastinate? Write a poem about procrastinating for your blog. It's kind of like you're doing something writing related, but you're not actually getting any real work done. Still, I feel a little less guilty than if I'd been playing online Scrabble during that time. Oh, demon lethargy, let loose your shackle grip. Swing no more from my ankles; anchoring my thoughts, my hopes, my bank account. When next you toss forth your maniacal laugh, I will stuff this poem down your blazing gullet To prove my productivity So, what's your favorite method for putting off work? Not that I'm gong to compile your suggestions and make a reference sheet for my own procrastination purposes or anything. That would be crazy. ...and it would give me something to do that's sort of writing related. Hmmm.

Knock, Knock

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 12:07:27 +0000

Hey, do you know any good jokes for writers? I've been looking around, kind of trying to compile some good ones. So far, this is my favorite (found on so many sites that I don't know who to credit): A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks. “Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is...” “Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”

What Is Outsourcing, and Does It Embarrass You?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 22:06:33 +0000

I remember when we first started our writing business (www.berrybrewer.com), we were dead-set against the idea of doing “outsourced” work. Somehow, it seemed less legit to us to do work that someone else went out and found. Like, we weren’t pulling our own weight or being professional enough or something. When we did accept our first outsourced gig, it was actually with a bit of embarrassment and shame. We definitely didn’t tell other writers that someone else was handing off their “overflow” work to us because we had so much free time on our schedules that we were desperate to fill. I think another part of the stigma is the term itself. “Outsourcing” has such negative connotations, with visions of call centers in India and slave-wage factories in China. Even “overflow” sound like something your toilet does on a bad day. The funny thing is that we’ve never had a problem with hiring other writers to do what we call “subcontracting.” (See, doesn’t that term sound a whole lot more respectable.) In fact, we’re really proud and excited when we have enough work coming in that we can help other work-at-home parents make some income. Maybe we’ve given ourselves a pass by including the word “agency” in our title… This summer I am determined to make as much money as possible with the limited time I have available. It turns out that one sort of economical use of this time is to go ahead and subcontract work from another writer (or two). To be fair, I don’t make as much money as I would if I went out and tracked down the deal myself. On the other hand, I can just sit down at the computer every afternoon and start typing away on whatever’s been assigned. It takes some of the pressure off I think it ends up being just as profitable, if not more so, in the end. Do I still have some reservations when it comes to doing outsourced work? Yeah, I have to admit that I do. It still makes me feel “less than” for some reason. But, I have a baby due in three months and I’m trying to buy a new house, so I’m going to go ahead and take the path of least resistance for the moment. No, I haven’t stopped looking for new clients. In fact, I’ve got two new ones in the last week or so, but I’m also not spending my time sending out query letters that might get rejected. As any teenage boy or gambling addict will tell you, there’s something to be said for a “sure thing.”

Found a New Blog...Oh, Dear

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 11:17:50 +0000

So, I just accidentally found a new blog that I think you all are going to like. I'm a little loathe to send you over there, because I think that Kiersten White is approximately five thousand times funnier than I am. But I'm a generous soul. And I can't keep a secret. (That's totally not true, by the way. I'm a great secret-keeper.) See, I told you she was funnier. I can't even fake my own shortcomings for a joke. Anyway, you should check out Kiersten Writes. I was going to tell you to start with this post detailing the pros and cons of getting an MFA, and then I realized that apparently that post was also written by someone funnier than I, so now I have to send you to K. Marie Criddle's blog called C'MERE so you can waste away any of your day that you weren't going to spend on Facebook. Don't say I never did nothin' for ya.

Ridiculous Client Requests

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 10:22:44 +0000

Oh lord. While I was hanging out on Facebook the other day, I happened to follow a link posted by a friend. I mean, with the ever-so-descriptive phrase “Hehehehehe,” a cute kitty picture, and the title “yeah that’s not what I was looking for at all.” (all punctuation original) to go along with it, I couldn’t resist clicking, right? It took me a second to figure out exactly what I was looking at, but once it sunk in, I had to laugh. To be honest, it probably sounded something very much like “Hehehehehe,” as I sat at my desk and felt this graphic artist’s pain. OK, I don’t really feel the pain, or it wouldn’t be nearly as funny, right? How many times as a freelance writer have I had someone ask me to do something so silly and simple that it’s reached the point of asinine? I have (more than) one client who will email me back an entire 20 page document, asking me to change a few words. Not only that, but he will have already changed the words, marking them in red, so that I know exactly what to type and where to type it. For some reason, it escapes this client that if he would simply not change font colors, he would actually already have his document finished. Weird, right? I have to admit that I most definitely don’t have the cajones that “David Thorne” has, and rather than coming right out and messing with the client’s mind, I just make the changes requested and bottle up the seething hatred I feel. That’s healthy, right?

Freelancing Lifestyle = A Different Kind of Stress

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:14:22 +0000

Here are just a few reminders of why we freelancers don't much miss working for The Man.

Freelance Life vs. Real Life

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 21:15:02 +0000

I think it's kind of funny how we tend to refer to our life outside of work as our "real life." Like the job we do doesn't have any consequences on the things we do away from the office/factory/sweatshop. "Yeah, I'm a builder, but in my real life, I like to go out on the boat with my family." Why does real life only happen on the weekends and for one or two unpaid weeks a year? I feel like my freelance life really is a part of my real life. The choices I make in one absolutely affect the realities of the other. I moved to a smaller office, and it gave me more take-home money. I decided to have another baby, and I had to slow my work pace during morning sickness. The two are very much intertwined. Lately, though, I'm discovering that this can be a bit of a hassle. My DH and I have been house shopping for the last few weeks. There's a whole neighbor drama thing going on where we live, and while I'm not ready to give up the fight to get the low-lifes out, I'm maybe not up to fighting from this particular location anymore. So, we're looking for a new place to call home. If I had a regular job, this might be stressful, but I think it would have a lot less impact on my work. After all, I'd still be expected to show up at 8 with my bagel and time card. Being a freelancer makes things both simpler and more complicated. The agent wants to go look at a house in the middle of the afternoon? Um, sure, I can do that. We need to meet with the banker to get the loan papers in order. Thank goodness I have a flexible schedule! I want to spend all day trolling the real estate sites instead of writing articles? Who's gonna stop me? Aaaaaaand that's where I get in trouble. I think other freelancers have similar stories, especially when their kids are out of school for the summer. Little Jenny wants to go to the pool? Come to think of it, I am pretty hot sitting in front of this computer screen. I'll just make up the time later. Then later rolls around and Jenny wants to snuggle in with a DVD, and who are you to pass up quality family time? (Or to miss out on Where the Wild Things Are?) There's an upside to having my freelance life and real life so dependent on one another, however. I'm currently looking to buy a more expensive home than the one I already have. If I had a "regular" job, this would require me to either wait a few years for a raise or to go in with my hat in my hand and ask for one. Instead, I can just take on more work. Whereas DH is stuck at a certain income level until his next official cost of living increase, I have the ability to increase our family's income by working a little harder or even working the same amount but choosing to raise my rates. Just think of how much time I can free up by not needing to look at those real estate sites anymore...

Literary Symbolism

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 03:39:08 +0000

I've been working on this interesting project lately where I had to write researched articles on a ton of very random subjects. One of them happened to be literary symbolism. During my travels around the Internet, I came across this really cool quiz called "The American Novel" on PBS.org. You get to match the symbolism with the book. Never one to miss out on a chance to be all word-nerdy (you may recall that I've linked you to quizzes before), I was tickled pink and immediately thought of you. There are also some pretty nice graphics. Have fun! The American Novel symbolism quiz.

Plagiarizing about Plagiarism

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 21:24:59 +0000

Oh. My. Gosh. So, I think I mentioned that I've been doing articles on a lot of crazy topics lately. One of them was plagiarism. As I was looking around the web, I found this: Want to Buy an Essay about Plagiarism? Seriously. It's a web site where you can buy essays to turn in to your teacher and pass off as your own. And you can buy essays about why plagiarism is wrong. The absolutely, totally, 100% best part? They're horribly written. Like, you'd pay your money and still flunk your essay for not being able to write. Here's a great little gem so you can see what I mean:

I know plagiarism is something that isn't respected, condoned, or excepted in any part of the education process. Either is it tolerated in any type of assignment. Not only does it steal someone elses work, it robes yourself of the learning experience you can gain on the assignment. Plagiarism by definition is immoral and unethical. Plagiarism is: The submission of material authored by another person but represented as the students own work, whether that material is paraphrased or copied in verbatim or near-verbatim form. The submission of material subjected to editorial revision by another person that results in substantive changes in content or major alteration of writing style and improper acknowledgment of sources in essays, papers, or presentations(Sandra Rhoten). Basically passing someone elses work as your own, and trying to get away with it. I understand first hand how easy it is to plagiarism someone elses work. If something is said or written in a way that would put your work to shame your instincts tell you must make that work your own somehow.

Isn't that just beyond awesome?

Sassy Gay Friend Hits Two Literary Genres with One Peach Scarf

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 10:41:27 +0000

Way back in March, I posted a couple of videos from Second City that featured the Sassy Gay Friend. In them he talked the women of Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and Othello out of doing whatever particularly stupid thing they were about to do in the name of love. (A lot of suicide, now that I think about it.) Anyway, the Sassy Gay Friend is back, and this time he's taking on a non-human lady who needs to take a different perspective on her relationship. Check out The Sassy Gay Friend and The Giving Tree, with BONUS literary allusion to To Kill a Mockingbird.

Not Tonight, Crazy Client...I Have a Headache

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 05:19:49 +0000

Warning: What follows is basically a personal rant about a particular client. I've chosen to share it here because I think many of you will identify all too well. This blog is supposed to be funny, though, so please feel totally free to laugh at me for being such a door mat. Have you ever noticed how the absolutely bat-spit crazy clients seem to come out of the woodwork just when you need it the least? These are the folks who don't actually know what they want until you happen to hit the magic combination and they say, "Yes! That's it!" They're the ones who talk you into putting aside a few hours on your weekend to do their project but then don't send you the information you need until Sunday afternoon. They're the ones who interrupt you repeatedly when you're trying to use "active listening" techniques to ensure you understand what they want. In my case, these are all the same client. Crazy Client, as I call him, has likely been profiled on this blog before. He's what I less-than-lovingly refer to as a "nut job." He is obviously used to getting his own way in life and has no trouble throwing money at a problem until it goes away. As Hamlet would say, "Aye, there's the rub." You see, I let Crazy Client get away with this stuff because so often he is throwing money at ME. And, it's fairly decent money, too. That's what I tell myself, anyway. This week was too much, though. While traveling through Montana last weekend, I saw an email from Crazy Client. He wondered if I could work on a particular project (the third incarnation of something we've already done, btw) immediately. I patted myself on the back as I typed on my tiny Blackberry screen that I was out of town but would be in the office on Wednesday. OK, he says, it can wait until Wednesday. My smugness with "handling" him quickly crumbled, however, when I realized that he probably wouldn't even send me the info until Wednesday afternoon. Oh, gee. Did I just make things harder on myself? I'm tempted to say that this is when my migraine began...but it really didn't hit until after I'd gotten back to the office (on Tuesday...I had stretched the truth a bit to buy myself some time). By the time I received the client's information, it had gone from rewriting a letter to proofreading two documents, starting from scratch on the letter we'd already done, adding a second letter, and writing a cover letter explaining to the other people needing to OK this stuff precisely why Crazy Client felt it needed to be revisited...again. I think this is really when the headache started to settle in. By the time I talked to the client on the phone, I was already nauseas, sensitive to light, overheated, and in pain. Talking to the crazy guy who doesn't know how to communicate clearly (despite several advanced degrees), only served to push me further over the edge. By Friday morning I was in my doctor's office, accepting three different prescriptions, and praying for a dark room. I'm starting to think that the money just isn't worth it.

Working for Yourself: Failures in Efficiency

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 01:06:10 +0000

Ooh, "failures in efficiency" sounds just like "failure's inefficiency." How cool is that, fellow Word-Nerds? I used to read a lot of blogs, but I just don't seem to have the time, energy, or attention span to keep up with any of them lately. In my defense, I am running a business, sustaining a marriage, keeping a house, raising a child, and growing an entire human being in my body, so if anyone is personally offended that I don't keep up on his or her blog...he or she is totally a selfish loser. I do find myself with the occasional lull, however, and at those times, I like to take a quick peek at some of the sites that make me laugh. I'd look at educational sites, but frankly, I don't have the brainpower for it these days. Throw me a highly inappropriate "text from last night" or dangle an "lol cat" in front of me, and you've pretty much monopolized my entire attention span. It turns out that one of blogs I occasionally like to frequent for the chuckle factor (gee, that sounds like something dirty) has a post about that very thing. I definitely recommend you go check out "This Is Why I'll Never Be an Adult" on Hyperbole and a Half, and the following pictoral excerpt should give you a bit of an idea as to why. Note to the author/artist, Allie, if she happens to notice this. Please don't sue me for using your image. I'm trying to send you traffic, and I'm totally giving you credit, and I think you're so hilarious, and I don't really have any money anyway.

Stephen King and Conan O'Brien

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:39:33 +0000

I recently took a Facebook test (which are rivaled in accuracy only by those found in Cosmo, btw), and it told me that my writing style is closest to that of Stephen King. I don't suppose I'm all that surprised, as he was the first adult author I ever read (Cujo in the fourth grade). This led to a rather awkward and very brief sex-related conversation with my mother while on a cross-country Amtrack adventure. 10-Year-Old Me: Mom, what' this word mean? (Pointing to the slang term used.) Panicked Mother: What do you think it means? 10-Year-Old Me: Never mind. I worked my way through most of his then-existing cannon by the time I got to college and pleasure reading went by the wayside. Later on, I read his On Writing and was quite pleased to discover that The King of Horror and I have a pretty similar approach to the writing process. I'm one of those people who will take validation where I can find it...or pretend it exists. I haven't read a whole lot of SK's most recent works, with the exception of Under the Dome. I ordered and read it on my Kindle and had no idea it had been a particularly long book (Kindle doesn't show page numbers) until other people who had read it on paper were freaking out about it. Still, I have a soft spot for this particular author. I also happen to think that Conan O'Brien is hilarious. So, I was pleased to find this clip of King on Conan's old Late Night show. It turns out that even though he's a bit...well, odd...Stevie can hold his own against Conan's comic chops.

Weird

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:49:14 +0000

For some reason, the version of today's post that went up wasn't the final version I wrote. If you'd like to read a really, really short dialog that you can use to avoid talking to your kids about sex, you might want to scroll down and reread it.

I Can't Help Myself - It's Too Funny

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:18:33 +0000

So, if you checked out my recent post in which there's a video of Stephen King cracking wise with Late Night host Conan O'Brien, then you may have noticed they talked a fair amount about King's contribution to a still-growing wave of paranoia regarding clowns. If you didn't watch the video clip but know anything about the book/movie It, then you'll still have enough context to understand why what I'm about to share is relevant. Anyway, that whole part of the conversation kept reminding me of a hilarious story that one of my favorite comedians (Dan Cummins) tells about the origin of his own fear of clowns. I must warn you that this is absolutely NSFW, but it's a pretty funny story, nonetheless. Ooh, ooh. I even just figured out how to make this post writing-related: I'm trying to pitch a story about Dan to a magazine that showcases talent to colleges around the country.

So, a Writer Walks Into a Bar...

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 00:31:57 +0000

OK, it's not exactly that, but it's a good one. I mentioned some time ago that I wanted to gather up some jokes for/about writers. I found this one today and thought it was pretty freaking funny. After centuries of us constantly getting it wrong, the “powers that be” gave one of our fellow writers an all access pass to heaven and hell. He decided to take a quick tour before really getting down to the nitty-gritty narrative description. First up was hell. The demon in charge took him to see where they kept the writers whose bad behavior landed them in the firery depths. What he saw was pretty par for the course: writers in tiny cubicles, chained to computers that kept crashing, crying and sweating and searching thesauri that never seem to give them just the right word. “Wow,” thought the writer, “that really is hell.” Next, he found himself accompanied by a saint who was assigned to show him around heaven. Eager to see how writers were treated there, he was dismayed to see writers in tiny cubicles, chained to computers that kept crashing, crying and sweating and searching thesauri that never seem to give them just the right word. “What is going on?!” the writer asked his tour guide. “This is just as bad as hell.” “Oh no it’s not,” replied the saint. “These writers get published!”

An Ode to the Spell Checker

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 11:20:17 +0000

I have a friend who learned late in life that he was dyslexic. Because anything that ever happens anywhere in the world is somehow about me, this made me realize that I had been judging this person's intelligence pretty unfairly. We keep up with each other via Facebook, and I recently noticed a huge change in his status updates. When I asked him about it, he said that he'd learned how to use Spellcheck on FB. Of course, there are still the occasional homonyms and such that slip through, but it's apparently made a real difference for him. Anyway, I found this poem recently. After searching around the web, I've found multiple versions of it, but have not been able to track down the original author:

An Ode to the Spell Checker

I have a spelling checker - It came with my new pea sea. It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in it's weigh, My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing, It freeze yew lodes of thyme. It helps me right awl stiles two reed, And aides me when aye rime. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should be proud. And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaws are knot aloud.

And now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, Their are know faults with in my cite, Of nun eye am a wear.

Each frays come posed up on my screen, Eye trussed to bee a joule. The checker poured o'er every word, To cheque sum spelling rule.

That's why aye brake in two averse By righting wants too pleas. Sow now ewe sea why aye dew prays Such soft wear for pea seas.

How Do You Celebrate?

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 11:59:45 +0000

Nota Bene: All of the words in this post are merely my attempt to make the embedded video relevant to this blog. I really just wanted to share the video. So, if you don't care about my struggle writing about yeast infections or dealing with mental clients, just click "play" already and laugh your butt off. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only freelance writer out here that takes on the occasional less-than-stellar project. I admit, there are times that I accept a project based solely on the fact that I want the money that goes along with finishing the task. There's a certain article about vaginal yeast infections that comes to mind, for example. There are other projects that just drag on fooooreeeeveeeerrrr. You know these projects. They start out sounding very simple and straightforward, and by the time you're into the fourth line revision you finally have to admit to yourself that your client is completely insane, and you will end up making approximately nine cents an hour because you bid a flat fee at the onset. So, there are times when I feel the need to celebrate at the close of a project. I'll fully admit that some of these times have involved varying amounts of alcohol. Others have revolved around my calculator as I punched in numbers and reminded myself that it was all about the paycheck. This week, my reward for a particularly grueling client experience was the fact that I was able to pay to have my front yard fenced. Those celebrations are particularly sweet. These guy, though...They know how to celebrate when they reach their goals:

Ridiculous Freelance Ad of the Week

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 12:15:36 +0000

Usually, I bag on freelance ads for doing stupid things like offering $0.00002 per word or having unreasonable turnaround times. This one, though, is bad for a whole different reason. A client needs general fitness articles that are original (no plagiarizing) and at least 550 words long that have been SEO'd for the URLs & keywords listed. They will be paying per article. They will hire anyone who bids $4 per article immediately. I have attached the guidelines and examples. Article Writing Guidelines: You will be creating an ORIGINAL fitness related article (this will be verified, do NOT take paragraphs from other articles, combine them and submit as original) that will be optimized for a specific keyword / URL combination (see attachment for current list). Use this as a guide for writing your articles. Also see the sample article at the end of the attached guide. When placing your bid, please attach a sample of your CURRENT WORK. Thank you. Did you catch it? They will immediately award the job to ANYONE who bids $4 per article. I'm generally annoyed with those who place these kinds of ads for trying to screw over the writers they hire, but this time, I'm actually feeling kind of bad for the potential employer. S/he has put way too much faith in the people on Guru who will bid $4 for 550 words. Apparently no one has explained the concept of "you get what you pay for" to these people.

Hope You Didn't Have Any Plans Today...

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:01:43 +0000

...because I'm about to destroy them. How do I know? Because I had plans yesterday. And then someone introduced me to this site, and I read approximately 150 pages worth of posts. The site is called "F My Life," with people sending in reasons that their lives suck that day, followed by the acronym "FML." If you get to feeling bad about how things are going for you, a little visit to this site might just make you feel better. It's schadenfreude at its finest: fmylife.com

Tik Tok Writer's Block

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 12:42:54 +0000

Do you ever wonder if perhaps some people's "writer's block" has less to do with drawing a blank than it does with the number of Twitter updates they send in a day? Here's a little ditty by published author Jackson Pierce where she calls herself out for that very thing. Anyone else recognize a bit too much of themselves? OK, this one isn't actually writing related, but since I already posted a link to a Tik Tok parody, I figured I might as well throw in my very favorite one. It's geeky-ish-ly delicious.

Grammar Police

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 11:20:30 +0000

I have two things to say about this: 1. It's NSFW because of some naughty language (in addition to bad grammar, of course). 2. A lot of people on my Facebook friends list are lucky I don't have a taser like these grammar police.

Grammar Jokes

Lorna Doone Brewer — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 06:59:34 +0000

So, I'm always on the lookout for "writerly" jokes. Yes, I know that "writerly" is not a word, but I use it on a regular basis nonetheless. It's my favorite non-existing adjective, in fact. I like to fancy myself as a Picasso of the English language. Now that I have a fairly thorough understanding of the proper use of words, punctuation, etc, it's safe for me to experiment and add my own touches and flourishes. Or an extra nose or something. (Just had to reincorporate that whole "Picasso" comment.) Anyway, I found some new writerly jokes, and this was my favorite of the bunch. Because I have no illusions of my own diva-ness, I've gone ahead and infused myself into the joke as the know-it-all that I am: A high school teacher is doing a lesson on pronouns with her Freshman class. She asks for a volunteer to use "I" in a sentence. Not surprisingly, the teacher's pet raises her hand, waving it around to get her teacher's attention. "Yes, Lorna," the teacher sighs, giving in. "Can you use 'I' in a sentence?" Lorna begins, "'I' is..." but before she can continue, the teacher interrupts, thinking she finally has the opportunity to show up the show off." "Lorna, we always begin with 'I am.'" "Oh," Lorna responds with a puzzled look. "OK. 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet!'"

That Whole "How to Write Good" Thing

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 11:02:59 +0000

I've seen this type of thing in several different places. Back when I was still wondering what the heck the Internet had to offer other than hard-to-follow chat rooms, I found a printed version of it in a souvenir shop and bought it for my English major friend. Some years later, I was forwarding different iterations via email. (Yeah, the Internet was getting a little more relevant at that point.) Now, here I am: a professional blogger, and I've found a whole new way to make people read this stuff. By the way, I found this compilation at PlainLanguage.gov. I'm pretty sure there's an obvious joke to be made about the government advising the rest of us on how to speak in plain language. Anyway, here are 53 rules to follow if you want to "write good." Avoid Alliteration. Always. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.) Employ the vernacular. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Contractions aren’t necessary. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. One should never generalize. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.” Comparisons are as bad as cliches. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous. Profanity sucks. Be more or less specific. Understatement is always best. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. One word sentences? Eliminate. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. The passive voice is to be avoided. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Who needs rhetorical questions? Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas. It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions. Avoid archaeic spellings too. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before. Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary. Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively. Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice. Subject and verb always has to agree. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct. Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. Don't never use no double negatives. Poofread carefully to see if you any words out. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. Eschew obfuscation. No sentence fragments. Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions. A writer must not shift your point of view. Don't overuse exclamation marks!! Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. Always pick on the correct idiom. The adverb always follows the verb. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing. And always be sure to finish what

Isn't It Ironic? Or, Maybe Not. I'm Really Not Sure to be Honest.

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:39:40 +0000

It's no secret that I consider myself to be a word-nerd. I know the difference among "there," "their," and "they're," for example. (I also know the difference between "between" and "among," in case you didn't notice.) Yeah, I do make the occasional mistake, but I hope very few of them slip through the cracks when I proofread work for clients and all. Despite my large vocabulary and ability to punctuate, there are some common English language issues that still escape me. As much as I want to understand them, however, I just can't seem to wrap my brain around proper usage. One of these things is the semi-colon, and I'm *this* close to having that sucker nailed. I think the only real question I have left is the appropriateness of using it as a "super comma" with a conjunction. I did mention the whole word-nerd thing, right? Another issue that I've never been able to completely put to rest is that of situational irony. Thanks to a degree in Theatre Arts and having actually read a decent amount of Shakespeare, I've got a great handle on dramatic irony...but situational? I have looked up the definition literally (ooh, I do know how to use the word "literally" correctly) dozens of times. For some reason, however, I just cannot make some sort of very important connection. When people go off about why that one Alanis Morisette song is so not ironic, I just clam up and hope no one looks to me for confirmation. I have serious inadequacy issues when it comes to this concept, people. So, it did my heart some good when one of my favorite web sites gave me permission to stop haranguing myself over irony. After all, if The Oatmeal says something is cool or uncool, it's my job as a sheep to throw up my hands and get in line with the stated opinion, right? I have to admit that's a whole lot easier when I agree with them already! If you want to feel better about not knowing the ins and outs of irony, or even if you just want a little better understanding of it, check out The 3 Most Common Uses of Irony.

Hilarious!

Lorna Doone Brewer — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 11:59:02 +0000

I have this little thing where I like to turn my dreams into haiku. I mean, given all the words in the world, it's nearly impossible to really explain the incredible weirdness that happens in our dream lives, so cutting it down to 17 syllables shouldn't really make that much of a difference, right? Today, I found a total gem while looking for a different design. Oh my gosh. How much do I want this shirt from Threadless Tees? Words cannot express: My birthday's October 8th. Just sayin'...

Hey, You Swaggering Rascal Over There!

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 11:49:16 +0000

After finding that fun haiku shirt the other day, I found myself spending an ill-advised amount of time on the Internet looking at “writerly” shirts and other products. One of the coolest things I came across really doesn’t fit my personal style at all. As a shirt, I’m not really all that interested in the style, BUT I so dig the fact that it includes a collection of Shakespearean insults and wanted to share some of the best ones here. When I insult someone, I generally just end up sounding petty and awkward. I mean, there are very few occasions where “Nuh-uh” or “YOU are” really elevate one’s argument. From now on, I think I’m going to refer to someone who annoys me as a “filthy bung” or a “damned furious wight.”

Ill-faced
Worse bodied
Vile worm
Dissentious rogue
Maidenly man at arms
You sheath
Starveling
Vile standing-tuck
Scurvy companion
Huge hill of flesh
O braggart vile
Peasant swain
Dissembling harlot
You naughty mocking uncle*
You mouldy rogue
Filthy bung
Bull’s pizzle
Sanguine coward
Thoug unnecessary letter
Deboshed fish
Sodden-witted lord
Lump of foul deformity

*What the?

Don't Freelance

Lorna Doone Brewer — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 20:53:56 +0000

My darling husband sent me a link today, and all I could make out from the URL was "stuff no one told me" and "don't freelance." "Uh-oh," I thought. "He's finally decided he's had enough of this being in business for myself thing and is trying to build a case against it." (I'm very glass-is-half-empty here in the last week or so of this pregnancy.) Instead, he had found a really funny couple of cartoons that I think many of you will relate to all too well. It's by Alex Noriega at Stuff No One Told Me, and I highly recommend you click the link and take a look at the other cartoon posted below this one. It has dirty words.

Just a Quick Note

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 06:49:50 +0000

Hey, "Other Stuff" readers. I wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten you...Actually, I've been busy with a little side project. Wanna peek?

Lucy Pearl Brewer

Born Sept. 20, 2010

8 lbs, 20 1/2"

I'll attempt to bring you more writing-related hilarity as soon as I've recovered a bit and Miss Lucy Pearl and I have bonded more.

Medium Large

Lorna Doone Brewer — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 21:41:07 +0000

While it probably comes as no big surprise to any of you, I haven't had as much free time as usual lately to surf the Internet collecting the URLs of things that make me LOL. It's not really the new baby as much as it is the toddler I already had. The new one seems to actually grasp the concept of sleeping, something her big sister still resists on a daily basis. Perhaps that's why I'm actually in the office, 15 days after giving birth, with the newest family member sleeping in the car seat next to my desk. I have the heaters on and classical music on the radio, and there is no one climbing on me, asking for orange juice, or demanding an encore performance of the most recent Wiggles episode. It's just me and the tiny babe in a nicely lit, comfortably cozy, private office. If she happens to get too fussy, we'll head for home, but in the meantime, it's not like I can't find things to keep myself busy. Have I mentioned lately that I really dig being a freelancer? I'm using my time wisely, too, as I've been looking for cool stuff to share here. One of the things I came across is a comic blog called Medium Large. I'm trying to avoid getting sucked in for hours, simply scrolling backwards through amusing posts. Because, let's face it, I'm in the perfect position to do exactly that at the moment. Instead, I will share one I found particularly hilarious and simply direct you to go spend your afternoon scrolling!

Freelancing in Real Life

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 12:04:00 +0000

As I've mentioned a few times now, and will probably continue to mention until the novelty of a new baby wears off, I just had my second child. Obviously, I had a little advanced warning that this major disruption would be happening to my schedule. All of my clients were put on notice... After all, I was planning to take the month of October off, with only this blog to "worry" about. So, everyone else was told that I'd do as much as I could for them, up to the last possible moment, but that I was off limits as soon as I went to the hospital. That lasted about nine days. The next thing I knew, there were these requests in my in box, and I started seeing dollar signs and feeling like I had way more energy than I expected. All of a sudden, I was saying "yes" to batches of keyword articles and writing newsletters at the conclusion of 2 a.m. feedings. My business partner was telling me to slow down and offering to take stuff off my plate, but I was just unable to stop myself. I am pacing myself a bit, however. I've only accepted a couple of smaller projects, and those clients that are more, um, "high maintenance" have all been put on a need-to-know basis regarding my availability. It doesn't hurt that my husband is on paternity leave, either. With him, a mother's helper, and an infant that actually sleeps (she's currently doing so on my chest), I may actually get a few extra projects squeezed in during my self-proclaimed month "off." After that, though, it's back to this: Thanks to N.C. Winters at Freelance Switch's Freelance Freedom for once again perfectly summing up the freelance lifestyle. If you all aren't already clued in to this awesome comic strip, you should DEFINITELY spend some time reading through these. If it wasn't a violation of copyright, I think I'd have about half of them printed out and stuck to my walls, computer, and bathroom mirror!

Maybe I Just Don't Test Well...

Lorna Doone Brewer — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 12:26:57 +0000

Aw, gee. I've mentioned time and time again on this blog that I consider myself to be a "word-nerd." I love to use superfluous words, and I am a fiend for a compound sentence. In addition, I love to read and to rend some deep meaning out of the words and passages of classic literature. For an American, I'm pretty well-read. Or so I thought. I took this simple little quiz and was appalled at my results. There were 17 quotes listed, and in the 5 minutes provided, I could only identify 7 of them. (They even had the author's initials listed as a clue for each.) I may have to revoke my own word-nerd street cred after that abysmal showing. So, now I'm curious. How many of them can each of you get right? C'mon. Humor me. It won't take more than five minutes since there's a timer and everything; and you can even count it as "work" since it's totally writing related! There seem to be a whole bunch of these types of games on this site called Sporcle, but the one I'm talking about is the Classic Quotes game.

I Love Indexed

Lorna Doone Brewer — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 12:15:31 +0000

There are a number of web sites that I absolutely love, but I just don't visit all that often. The main reason is that I know each of these sites could easily suck away any number of hours from my week. Interestingly, many of them involve animals:

Some of them are snarky:

And some of them are downright tragic:

FMyLife
Texts from Last Night
Hm, maybe I should list People of Walmart again...

There are some, however, that are just so cool that even though I don't check back regularly, I think of them from time to time and fritter away an entire afternoon catching up on months' worth of entries. One of my very favorites for this purpose is Indexed. I love Indexed because the creator has found a way to merge words, images, and *gasp* math in a way that not only makes sense, but also feels really relevant. Some of the diagrams she does make me laugh. Some make me think. A few make me scratch my head and go "huh?' But all-in-all, I'm so impressed by her ability to keep these coming year after year, and I think everyone should check them out! I love this one especially because it really does sum up how so many of us get into this freelancing life!