The Art of Dishing Out Insults

Why would anyone want to dish out insults? I am a firm believer in courtesy and respecting other people. As much as I can, I keep insults to the minimum. However, I have to admit that there are times when you just can’t help but think insulting things. You might even be justified on certain occasions.

If you are a writer, you’ll probably have more reason to make an insulting remark or two. This is especially true if you write fiction and your characters have a rough edge. So, is there an art to dishing out insults? Probably.

I will not claim to be an expert in this matter, but I have found some interesting words that can be used to insult others. The fun part is that the recipient just might not get the fact that he is being looked down on. Here are some of my picks.

DISCLAIMER: In spite of the examples that I will be using below, I am not suggesting you go insulting others with this post. Let’s just look at it as an exercise in expanding your vocabulary. 😉

Superbious

The next time someone behaves like a condescending [insert insult here], be a little more creative and say “You’re superbious!” He might even think that you are giving him a compliment instead of the other way around! Of course, that all depends on how much sarcasm you put into your tone.

Buncombe

How many times have you called BS on a statement? While it is a commonly used term, especially in informal situations, there are many situations when you might not want to use it. How about buncombe instead? It basically means the same thing, and it does not sound as crass.

Cockalorum

I like this word, if only for the reason that it reminds me of a rooster. It is used to refer to a person who is full of himself—a boastful, self-important person. I am sure you know a cockalorum or two!

Mumpsimus

Doesn’t this sound just as silly as the previous insult? If someone tells you you’re a mumpsimus, you better do a self-evaluation. This word refers to someone who is so stubborn that he continues making a mistake even after it has been pointed out.

Gobemouche

Next time you encounter someone who believes everything they hear without question, call them a “gobemouche.” It’s a fancy way of saying “gullible fool” or “fly-swallower.” They might even take it as a compliment!

Ultracrepidarian

When faced with someone who loves giving opinions on topics they know nothing about, hit them with this mouthful. An ultracrepidarian is a person who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge. It’s a polite way of saying “stay in your lane.”

Fribble

For that acquaintance who’s all fluff and no substance, “fribble” is the perfect descriptor. It refers to a frivolous, foolish, or ineffectual person. Bonus points if you can say it with a British accent.

Coccydynia

While technically a medical term for tailbone pain, this word sounds insulting enough to confuse your target. “You’re such a coccydynia!” They’ll either think you’re complimenting their posterior or calling them a pain in the rear.

Mumblecrust

This archaic term originally meant a toothless beggar, but it works wonderfully as an insult for someone who constantly complains or grumbles. “Stop being such a mumblecrust and eat your vegetables!”

Quidnunc

For that nosy neighbor or office gossip who always seems to know everyone’s business, “quidnunc” is the perfect label. It comes from Latin, literally meaning “what now?” and refers to a person who is constantly seeking the latest news or gossip. Next time someone’s being too inquisitive, you can say, “Stop being such a quidnunc and mind your own beeswax!” They might just scurry off to look up what you called them, giving you a moment’s peace.

Merriam-Webster has funny list of top 10 rare and amusing insults, if you want more.

Now remember what your mom always taught you about being polite!

Updated August 2024