I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all been there at least once.
A client sends back negative feedback that is so scathing even a rhino’s hide would burn in an instant. Or maybe your boss tells you you’re not doing a good job, and you need to step up. Sometimes, even a simple statement from a friend or family member may bring you down and make you feel like you’re a failure at what you do.
Circumstances and triggers will differ, but these things happen, and the result is the same: you feel that you suck.
Some people bounce back easily, while others may need more time and effort to regain their balance. If you could use some help convincing yourself you don’t suck, here are three things I can offer you.
Let it go.
By that I mean let your emotions wash over you. So you feel that you suck? Cry about it if you need to. Punch some pillows if that’s your thing. Do whatever you need to do to let the sucky feeling pass, because, yes, as bad as you may feel at the moment, it will pass. Ignoring it – or trying to – will not make it go away. It might actually only make it worse and explode later on.
A word of caution: feel bad for a while, but please don’t wallow. Don’t let yourself drown in that pool of self-pity.
Look back at your successes.
When the tempest has passed – this doesn’t necessarily mean you feel like you’re on the top of the world – take the time to look back at the good things that you have achieved. Go through old client emails that thank you and praise your work. Read the pieces you have written that you are most proud of. If you have a blog, look for old entries that make you happy.
Trust me, you will find more positive things than you might expect, and they will certainly help you realize the truth: You are not a failure.
Spend time with people who truly believe in you.
It doesn’t have to be face to face if you don’t feel like it. Send an email. Chat up a friend. Know who really believes in you and what you are capable of doing. Let them know about your current circumstances and channel their belief in you. Sometimes, all it takes is reassurance from other people who know your worth.
Whatever it is that makes your feel that you are failure (at the moment), you don’t have to accept it. You know what you have gone through to reach where you are now. yes, there may be times when you make mistakes or you burn out, but that doesn’t mean you suck.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So don’t give anyone, or anything, that consent.
What about you? How do you deal when something/someone makes you feel like you’re a failure?
Image via Tjook
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