The Freelance Writing Jobs Limerick Contest

When Susan Gunelius offered us another copy of her awesome book “Kickass Copywriter in 10 Easy Steps” to give away, I decided to make it a fun contest. We work hard each day. Why work hard to win something cool? I also wanted the contest to be something we could all share and enjoy here rather than have you send something to my email account. Finally, I wanted it to be something even those who aren’t entering can enjoy….and here’s the result.

The Freelance Writing Job limerick contest.

Are you a poet and you don’t know it? Do you enjoy seeing what words you can get to rhyme with “Nantucket?” If so, you won’t want to miss this. I only have three rules:

  1. Keep in clean (We can live with PG)
  2. Keep it respectful
  3. Keep it on the topic of freelance writng

If you curse or use other vulgarity, or if you bash another person or service, your entry will be disqualified. Otherwise, the sky is the limit.

Enter as many times as you like and let your creativity shine through. The contest will close one week from today on April 8th.  Judges will include the FWJ team and, we’ll also throw out the vote to our Facebook group and Twitter communities.

Here’s one to get you started:

There once was a writer from Jersey
For jobs she was very thirsty
She started a blog
It lifted the fog
And now she’s at no one’s mercy

Yeah OK, I’m not a poet, but at least I gave it a shot. Why don’t you try too? Ah heck, I’m feeling generous. The winner will not only receive a copy of “Kickass Copywriting” but I’ll throw in $50 for the limerick that makes us laugh the hardest.

How can you refuse?






104 responses
  1. Fiona Avatar

    Not on the topic of freelance writing but an ode to Deb:

    There was a young writer of fame
    Who got tired of folks mangling her name.
    “It’s Ng, not En-jee.”
    She’d utter most fiercely,
    Which was odd, ‘cos she’s usually quite tame!

    OK, now i”m off to see what else I can come up with.

  2. Andrea Avatar

    There once was a F, a W, and a J,
    That referred to a blog with jobs that would pay.
    Its colors were rather eclectic,
    So Deb decided on something less electric,
    And now I want to drink coffee all day!

  3. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    At his desk sat a writer named Boris
    Whose mind was vernacular chorus
    But when the Oxford he sought
    Had already been bought
    He settled for Roget’s Thesaurus

  4. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    Here sits Kathy with quite the knack
    For making her keyboard go clickety-clack!
    Things always look grim
    when she hits 200wpm
    and her spacebar shatters with a crack!

  5. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    He sat there on the bench most contrary
    His voice boomed so as to carry
    With each breath came a shout
    As he let his opinion out
    On this Potter known as Harry.

  6. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    His parents named him Hans Schecter
    And in truth he looked like a spectre
    But without seeing what you done
    with the writing assignment you were on
    You set off his bad grammar detector!

  7. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    A the table there sat a lad perchance
    who had decided to write freelance
    And when they asked him why
    He just rolled his eyes
    “‘Cause to work I won’t have to wear pants!”

  8. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    They sat in the same spot each day
    Heads bent as if to pray
    They looked and they stared
    at the pages they bared
    that had been written by Roget.

  9. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    Nouns, pronouns, and adjectives,
    Adverbs, Verbs and Expletives,
    He cried with a start
    I’d rather swim with sharks
    than have the headaches punctuation gives.

  10. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    He was boisterous chap named Nate,
    Who wrote of things good and great,
    But to his chagrin
    whatever he turned in
    always came back marked as late.

  11. Hana Haatainen Caye Avatar

    I sat at my desk for some writing
    but Facebook posts were inviting.
    I clicked on a link;
    My day’s down the sink
    and my night? Well, not too exciting.

  12. Kristen Fitzgerald Avatar
    Kristen Fitzgerald

    There was a young writer who’d type
    `bout computers she said “whats the hype?!”
    So she’d hunt, and she’d peck
    Til she said WHAT THE HECK?!
    And she ordered a laptop on Skype!

    Now she’s writing much more than the past
    Emailing stories and articles – so fast!
    Til her laptop takes a fall-
    and she loses it ALL!
    Now she’s back to her typewriter that LASTS!

  13. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    His wife looked and asked “How goes?”
    His reply was “Heaven only knows”
    It was perfectly clear
    He was not Shakespeare
    For his weakness was his prose.

  14. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    There once was an editor from Nantucket
    Who loved to fill the bit bucket
    He wielded that red pen
    with a wide merciless grin
    and said “Oh, you’re by line, I struck it!”

  15. Lori Zanteson Avatar
    Lori Zanteson

    For freelance success you must query
    Over many word choices you’ll tarry
    If the aim of that pitch
    Is the editor’s niche,
    You’ll land a contract and be merry!

  16. Hana Haatainen Caye Avatar

    I gave up my day job to write
    and I know it sounds terribly trite
    but writing by day
    just isn’t my way
    so I’m penning my prose late at night.

  17. Lori Zanteson Avatar
    Lori Zanteson

    I fear I won’t make my deadline.
    Oh where will I find extra time?
    The words just won’t come,
    And the day’s almost done.
    Made it! It’s oh so sublime.

  18. Vicki Foy Avatar
    Vicki Foy

    I get freelance ideas in the shower
    The water gives my brain power
    So I stay till I’m ruined
    And nearly a prune
    Yikes! My water is billed by the hour!

  19. Michael Kwan Avatar

    I’m a freelance writer who wakes up at noon,
    I write a lot of stuff under the shine of the moon,
    And that’s just the thing
    That lets me buy all my bling
    Which will surely get all the pretty girls to swoon.
    .-= Michael Kwan´s last blog ..My Make Money Online Book Hits One Million Pre-Orders on Amazon =-.

  20. Jeff Allen Avatar
    Jeff Allen

    The 101 keys stare back at me all day
    There’s F of course, and W and J
    And that’s how it goes
    Because they live on different rows
    And writing is how I get y pay.

  21. Lori Zanteson Avatar
    Lori Zanteson

    Style is the goal of a writer
    We work to make our prose tighter
    A penchant for flair,
    Makes our words dance on air,
    And our editors say “Quite a sighter!”

  22. Salma Jafri Avatar

    sometime tis I who actually writes
    sometimes it be my wee little daughter
    clients dont know what is which
    so I’m happy to let her potter

    i set up two tables in my home office
    one for my desk and one for her doodles
    when I look back at my notes
    I cant tell my stuff from toodles’

    late in the afternoon we sit together
    mother and daughter at work et al
    we have a snack and gossip a bit
    tis the best watercooler of all

    .-= Salma Jafri´s last blog ..Part III: How to Write a Winning Proposal on Elance – Top 10 Tips =-.

  23. Sharon Hurley Hall Avatar

    My muse has taken a vacation
    Leaving me without inspiration.
    And try as I might
    I just cannot write
    My mind’s in a state of stagnation.
    .-= Sharon Hurley Hall´s last blog ..Stop Multitasking from Killing Your Productivity =-.

  24. Diar A. Avatar
    Diar A.

    She’s a freelancer Jane Doe
    Her only companion is a cup of joe
    Well, okay, at (rare) times she makes typos
    But words never are her foes
    And guess what, she’s even in for NanoWriMo

  25. Diar A. Avatar
    Diar A.

    There was an aspiring writer
    Clueless, jumping down the water
    Wanting to be a freelancer
    Her life doesn’t always get easier
    But she, ironically, is happier

  26. Susan Gunelius Avatar

    Great entries so far! What a fun contest idea, Deb!
    .-= Susan Gunelius´s last blog ..The Ultimate Brand Champion – Hugh Hefner =-.

  27. Lori Zanteson Avatar
    Lori Zanteson

    My deadline is here, what a drag,
    I’m becoming a grumpy old hag,
    My thinker’s all thunk,
    Get me outta this funk
    ‘Fore my rep. takes a leap off a crag!

  28. Michelle C. Avatar

    I woke up one morning quite bleary
    About to write letters of query
    I got writer’s block
    I had to take stock
    And came to this site for some theory!

  29. Michelle C. Avatar

    “Be productive this morning!” I say
    “Do your writing, and don’t stop to play!
    First I’ll just take a look
    Through Twitter and Facebook…
    Hey wait, where went the rest of the day?”

  30. Michelle C. Avatar

    There once was a writer in BC
    Who believed freelancing was easy
    She got quite a shock
    Suffered writer’s block
    Now cold calling makes her quite queasy!

  31. Michelle C. Avatar

    My writing is terrifically neat
    My knowledge of English can’t be beat
    I’ve got great bylines
    I’m good with deadlines!
    If only I had deadlines to meet…

  32. Michelle C. Avatar

    They always say, “write what you know,”
    But frankly, that just doesn’t go.
    I’m a jack-of-all-trades,
    With laziness in spades,
    And no expertise I can show. 🙁

  33. Teri Rowland Avatar
    Teri Rowland

    My thoughts are like vapor
    ‘Til my pen meets the paper.
    Stirred and stoked,
    New ideas are provoked
    And I’m off on a marvelous caper.

  34. Lori Zanteson Avatar
    Lori Zanteson

    Oh why am I writing this ditty?
    I really must be off my liddy.
    I’ve stories to write,
    but try as I might,
    The damn limerick’s controlling my witty!

  35. Jo Lightfoot Avatar

    There once was an Everyday Poet
    who said, “I write well; let me show it.”
    Her lance—like her fee
    and her spirit—were free,
    so soon she went broke, don’t you know it?

  36. Trez Fully Avatar
    Trez Fully

    There once was a greedy little girl
    who wanted all of the money in the world
    She started an illegal blog
    Stealing money from all
    Now in jail and extending her toil

  37. Sonny Ball Avatar
    Sonny Ball

    There once was a guy named Pat
    He was really fat
    He went on a diet
    and became anorexic
    Now he’s a paramedic

    (who writes freelance articles on the side)

  38. Leo Madigan Avatar
    Leo Madigan

    A scribbler from Ulan Bator
    Said, “Writing is really a bore!
    My work is the peak
    Of perfection unique,
    But nobody reads any more.”

  39. DELROY OBERG Avatar

    A keen freelance writer, Tim Tapers,
    Sent the same piece to twenty-five papers;
    They wanted “exclusive,”
    Became most abusive,
    Thus ending his freelancing capers.

  40. The Winner Avatar
    The Winner

    There once was writer for DS.
    Who got tired of his CEs’ “distress”.
    So he left the site.
    To avoid this plight.
    And now he earns much less. What a mess!

    (^Note: I actually wanted to use BS for the last word in line 2, but it’s considered vulgar in the online dictioanry, so I replaced it for the contest.)

  41. The Winner Avatar
    The Winner

    2nd variation:

    There once was writer for DS.
    Who got tired of his CEs’ “distress”.
    So he left like a fool,
    Joined the writing cess pool.
    And now he earns much less. What a mess!

  42. Jo Lightfoot Avatar

    There twice was a writer who freelanced.
    The first time he quit, his affianced
    insisted he do.
    Bad clients (time two)
    showed him how, with his free lance, to be lanced.
    .-= Jo Lightfoot´s last blog ..Purple Prose and Poetry =-.

  43. Joan Garlick Avatar
    Joan Garlick

    There once was a writer named Cory
    Who decided to write a short story
    From there she progressed
    To Wild tales of the West
    And now she is covered in glory.

  44. Joan Garlick Avatar
    Joan Garlick

    A speaker who hailed from New York
    About writing was going to talk
    He set up his board
    A whiskey he poured
    And said ‘Cheers! I’ve forgotten the chalk.’

  45. Vicki Foy Avatar
    Vicki Foy

    For a freelance St. Pat’s job, on Skype,
    I gave the editor my hype
    When he appeared on my screen
    All Leprechaun green
    I said, “Sorry, you’re not my type!”

  46. Vicki Foy Avatar
    Vicki Foy

    I troll the net daily for work
    To find freelancing jobs that lurk
    But waiting each day
    Are jobs that don’t pay
    Money would sure be a perk!

  47. Gail Hayes Avatar

    There once was a limerick pig
    Who decided she liked lemon figs
    She wrote for newspapers
    About her new capers
    And now does a mean writing jig!

    There once was a big, ugly goat.
    Who lived under a nasty, green moat.
    He ate bugs and grass
    That were all made of brass.
    Now his belly’s as big as a boat!

    Did you ever see a green moon?
    It can make you respond like a loon.
    The beams that it shoots
    Knocks you out of your boots
    And then makes you eat worms with a spoon.

    Her garden is filled with big flowers
    That blossom and bloom every hour
    She feeds them real beef
    For each tiny new leaf
    Is a sign of her gardening power!

    Writing is something you do
    When you can’t stop and make a good stew.
    So a cookbook you’ll read
    At the pace of light speed
    To show others that you can cook too!

  48. Danny Donahue Avatar
    Danny Donahue

    There once was a guy who would write
    Articles all day and all night
    Then came his break
    When an assignment he did take
    Let him tell us shed building just right

  49. Anna Papachristos Avatar

    The best thing about working in the world of freelance
    Is the freedom to write while wearing pajama pants
    Grab a comfy chair
    No matter how messy your hair
    And let the words flow from you while in a trance.
    .-= Anna Papachristos´s last blog ..The Traditional ‘Drive Safely’ Holiday Disclaimer =-.

  50. Danny Donahue Avatar
    Danny Donahue

    A writer got stuck on a thought
    No answers from ‘courses’ he bought
    He was about to give up
    When he looked at his pup
    Who told him the words that he sought

  51. Danny Donahue Avatar
    Danny Donahue

    I’m surrounded by people who think I’m a fool
    At my laptop, nearly ready to drool
    They don’t see the point
    “Why do you write for that joint
    When flipping burgers is so cool”

  52. Vicki Foy Avatar
    Vicki Foy

    I freelance near my dog for ideas
    But all I get is fle-ahs
    And then a flea bath
    Which incurs my rath
    And any work done? Oh, Ple-ahse

  53. Vicki Foy Avatar
    Vicki Foy

    Wherever I freelance I know
    That I can work fast or slow
    Coffee shop or the mall
    Winter, summer, or fall
    I spring into action and go

  54. Vicki Foy Avatar
    Vicki Foy

    Camping with my netbook I’m set
    To do my best freelancing yet
    Though mosquitos have bitten
    My article’s written
    Now I itch for the payment I’ll get!

  55. MaryChris Bradley Avatar

    When stumped for a word I’m no quitter.
    And never would one call me bitter.
    For a writer I am,
    But I’m caught in a jam,
    Now limericks my floor do litter!

    1. Marina Hanes Avatar
      Marina Hanes

      There once was a young woman with a mighty pen,
      Who said, ‘Writing is a state of Zen.
      Even with three cats and three dogs,
      There is still time for inspiration and blogs. –
      Thanks to a hefty dose of meditation and drinks in the den!’

  56. Marvin Rabinovitch Avatar
    Marvin Rabinovitch

    You should realize my lance is not free,
    And for writing I must charge a fee.
    It’s by meeting your deadlines
    I keep off the breadlines,
    So please pay your part-time employee.

  57. Marvin Rabinovitch Avatar
    Marvin Rabinovitch

    Among a diverse clientele,
    My skill set’s not too hard a sell;
    For while some demand more
    Than simple WORD lore,
    Most are just glad I can spell.

  58. Marvin Rabinovitch Avatar
    Marvin Rabinovitch

    From project to project I go;
    Some flash by, others lag in slo-mo.
    But they all share one trait:
    If I finish too late,
    I get docked a good part of my dough.

  59. Jacqueline Barry Avatar

    They say it is a ‘giveaway’
    if only I write the correct words today…
    I’m going to make it short and fun
    then they’ll write me that I’ve won!

  60. Jacqueline Barry Avatar

    I came to see
    and take a look…
    Yep, it’s real,
    I could win a book!!

  61. Jacqueline Barry Avatar

    Making you laugh
    to win a book?
    Does taking the money
    make me a crook?

  62. Liza Rosenberg Avatar

    For those people who ask what I do
    I’m a freelance writer – it’s true
    I write for a living
    I’m past my misgivings
    Though sometimes the pay can be poo
    .-= Liza Rosenberg´s last blog ..Glass of Wine =-.

  63. jody Avatar

    there once was a girl from B-more
    who wrote til her fingers were sore,
    poems for pennies
    saved until Bennies
    now she too old to care anymore.
    .-= jody´s last blog ..the magnolia blossoms =-.

  64. Michelle C. Avatar

    This writing’s a bit of a llama,
    Not a life of great riches and drama.
    But who cares if it’s quaint
    and Bruce Willis it ain’t,
    I still get to work in pajamas!


    There once was a Vancouver writer
    Who thought that her clients denied her
    Like a tenacious pup
    She’ll never give up
    And she’s sure her future’s much brighter!


    A writer who’s terribly meek
    Is seeking all writing jobs geek
    But the line seems to be,
    “Games are fun, work for free!”
    So the picture’s a little bit bleak.


    Freelance Writing Gigs is the best
    With great useful pointers it’s blessed
    I’m not trying to flatter
    (if I did, would it matter?)
    And without it, my career would be messed!
    .-= Michelle C.´s last blog ..Sample Travel Article: Akihabara =-.

  65. julie Avatar

    Write a Love Song Stupid(written in 1976 in my creative writing class at SHS).
    First Row, First Seat, Steve Tennyson;
    One of a kind, definately not a full house,
    Second Row, First Seat, Sir Donald Scarborough,
    An Idiot by nature but not bad for a louse.
    Second Row. Second Seat, Vacant,
    Died 1971, Resurrected 1973, Re-died 1975.
    Second Row, Third Seat, Tim Capps;
    The Lord Worketh in mysterious ways.
    Third Row, First Seat, Lydia Hammessley;
    One of Don’s Friends; lucky to be alive.
    3rd,4th and 5th Rows, Depending on her mood.
    June Jacobsen;
    Friend and constant companion of the lowly leech.
    Fourth Row, First Seat, Julie (Vocal) Perrill;
    A constant reminder of our Freedom of Speech.
    Fourth Row, Third Seat, Nancy Brawner;
    Does your mother still drive the beer truck?
    Third Row, Third seat, Trudy Raines:
    Will ya’ please shut up and drive?!
    Fifth Row, First Seat, Ann Matney;
    You themll tho nithe.
    And who leads this misplaced psychiatric ward?
    Dr. Garrett we presume?
    Write a love song stupid!
    .-= julie ´s last blog ..Fond Memories Pet Cemetary and Cremation, "They Are Gone, But Not Forgotten"! =-.

  66. Irreverent Freelancer Avatar

    Out of options, fed up, and tense,
    Despite conventional sense,
    I started a blog,
    Gave deadbeats a flog,
    Lashed them with my irreverence.
    .-= Irreverent Freelancer´s last blog ..The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of April 5, 2010 =-.

  67. Tim Kissane Avatar

    There once was a writer-to-be
    Who did not know her A from her E
    And try as she might
    She ignored copyright
    So now she does one year to three.
    .-= Tim Kissane´s last blog ..Happy Document Freedom Day =-.

    1. Kathryn Avatar

      There once was a writer named Brock
      Who produced the lamest of schlock
      Though he wrote of composers
      His queries were dozers
      To rejection, he sniffed, “I’ll be Bach!”

  68. Desire Avatar

    You can tell by the words that I key.
    I’m more than well worth my fee.
    The words that I craft
    scream excellence, from first to last draft,
    And hiring me would make your life so very easy.

  69. Janette Avatar

    I’m joining the rhyme bacchanalia
    With no thought of terrible failure.
    But then, if I win,
    Will it cause Deb chagrin?
    The prize must be shipped to Australia.


    I know it’s not much, at first glance;
    And I started out kinda by chance.
    But now I’m on fire
    As a pen out for hire
    In my jammies I love to freelance!

  70. Alexis Osborne Avatar

    Here I sit in my den,
    before me lies paper and pen
    I brainstorm all day
    on how to get paid
    for the pieces completed
    that lay, undefeated

    fear of rejection
    causes reflection
    and fear of fame
    drives one insane
    Me I pray for
    a brighter day

    When I submit
    to the freelance life
    finally admit
    that I am it’s wife
    Published pay
    the golden day

  71. Rita Riter Avatar

    I am Rita, and I’m a writer
    With my words, I am a fighter
    If you’re dumb
    You’d better run
    Especially if your name is Tiger
    .-= Rita Riter´s last blog ..Celebrity Slap: April *something* Edition =-.

  72. Marvin Rabinovitch Avatar
    Marvin Rabinovitch

    What I hate most about subcontracting
    Is being forced into redacting
    Things like touring in France
    As a business expense.
    (Oh, those taxmen can be so exacting!)

  73. Marvin Rabinovitch Avatar
    Marvin Rabinovitch

    With my dtp and enough time,
    The most villainous prose starts to shine;
    And all English that’s rough,
    Under my loving buff
    Will receive the top mark, grade A prime.

  74. Marvin Rabinovitch Avatar
    Marvin Rabinovitch

    Instead of one boss, I’ve a horde,
    And am treated by each like her ward.
    While some don’t have any,
    I’ve much more than plenty
    To prompt me to fall on my sword.

  75. Kevin Waring Avatar

    There was once a girl from New Haven,
    Whom many considered a lyrical maven,
    One day she was driving her father’s red Chevy;
    On the back a bumper sticker read Bush-Cheney,
    Word got out, and rejected was her application to the Nation.

  76. Jo Lightfoot Avatar

    “A Writer for Hire” — that’s my trade.
    Of blood, sweat and tears, I have made
    my very life’s ink—
    but freedom, I think,
    is worth all the dues that I’ve paid.
    .-= Jo Lightfoot´s last blog ..Intimations of Mortality =-.

  77. Jenny Brown Avatar

    This freelance thing’s not just a lark,
    Though at times it may seem like malark(-ey).
    I’m writing, I swear!
    But it’s sunny out there,
    So I took all my work to the park.

  78. Eugene Yiga Avatar

    Writers on a writing spree,
    Out to find their freelance fee.
    Sending stories or poems,
    From abroad or at home,
    Especially if entry is free!

  79. Liza Rosenberg Avatar

    I am a freelance writer – oh how I love to write
    Stringing words together, morning, noon and night
    It took me quite a while, to give this path a go
    Afraid I’d never make it, and that they’d all say no

    I started very slowly, beginning with a blog
    Years of dreary office work had left me in a fog
    I wanted to create; I needed something more
    To talk about my work, and not sound like a bore

    It’s now a few years later; I’ve amassed a bunch of clips
    Some are just a tad mundane, while others – quite a trip
    From politics to hummus – sometimes they overlap
    Perhaps you’ll disagree with me, but please don’t say it’s crap

    As things stand right now, I’ve got some time to fill
    Peruse the stuff I’ve written – I might just fit your bill
    My writing’s rather good, or so some people say
    I’d love to do some work for you – but only if you pay
    .-= Liza Rosenberg´s last blog ..Glass of Wine =-.

  80. Cindy Avatar

    There once was a writer from Boston,
    Who fancied herself a Jane Austen.
    She wrote words for free,
    While riding the T,
    Then one day she got paid – it was awesome.

  81. Brock Cooper Avatar

    I spend hours a day online
    Trying to find writing jobs divine
    They want to pay me in peanuts
    They must think I may be nuts
    $1 for 500 words, here’s your sign

    My keyboard keys I do poke
    My ego the employers do stroke
    Your writing’s the best we have seen
    Your copy is fun and so clean
    By the way, there’e no money, we’re broke

  82. Brock Cooper Avatar

    A young man once thought he could write
    But what poured forth was often quite trite
    He could find no jobs in his style
    He searched for a long country mile
    I’ll just blog, it can’t be hard right?

    A man said he’d pay me for writing
    I found the idea exciting
    Five dollars per post
    Is better than most
    So on his hook I am biting

  83. Brock Cooper Avatar

    For many, writing’s a hobby
    A profession they often do lobby
    We write like mad
    For listings t’be had
    And pray we get the job-by

    Writers are a unique breed
    Motivated by love and by greed
    We compete with eachother
    But feel each is a brother
    We’re one giant family indeed

    1. Kathryn Avatar


      Red-faced moment. I submitted a limerick about “a writer named Brock”–a name chosen solely for its rhyme potential. So I’m reading the submissions and run across your name…

      Totally unintentional, and absolutely nothing meant by it. (Unless of course, you write schlock about long-dead classical music composers, in which case, I’m psychic.) Don’t even know if my submission went through, because I don’t see it, but just in case…I’m innocent!

  84. Ghost Writer In The Sky Avatar

    Here’s one I wrote years back re: the Ben Johnson gold medal/steroid scandal:

    When he ran for us quick as a bunny
    Our Olympian skies were all sunny
    But then an MD
    Analyzed his pee
    Sic transit gloria mundi


    As a writer who’s based in Toronna
    I can find all the jobs that I wanna
    But a penny a word
    Is rather absurd –
    You may write for that rate; I ain’t gonna!

  85. Dani Woods Avatar
    Dani Woods

    There once was a blogger named John
    Who had a laptop for writing upon
    His power went out
    And oh, what a shout
    For all of his words, they were gone.

  86. Kathryn Avatar

    There once was a wannabe bloke
    Whose writing was fat and baroque
    Magazines concurred
    That paying by the word
    Would probably make them go broke.

  87. Charline Profiri Avatar

    There once was a fellow named Chance,
    A ghostwriter who worked freelance.
    He awoke in the night
    With a terrible fright.
    On You Tube he appeared sans pants!

    There once was a fellow named Chance
    Who only wore holey sweat pants.
    He couldn’t land a job
    ‘Cause he dressed like a slob.
    So Chance donned his pants to freelance!

    A writer once circled an ad
    For a gadget he wished he had.
    He took freelance jobs
    Advertised on blogs.
    Now jobs pop up on his iPad!

    There once was a slogan writer
    Who taught herself to write tighter.
    She wrote every day.
    Hoped her boss would say,
    “Your slogans couldn’t be lighter!”

    A smart slogan writer takes notes
    On products like soup, cars and boats.
    She cuts words galore.
    Uses no more than four.
    And writes prose so light that it floats!

    A woman once lived in a shoe.
    Her kids made it seem like a zoo.
    During naps and at night
    She stole minutes to write
    A freelance blog A Zoo with A View!

    There once was a woman named Sue
    Whose mood was unusually blue.
    With sorry finances
    She took freelance chances.
    Now Sue pays her bills when they’re due!

  88. Kathryn Avatar

    There once was a writer whose spelling
    Was bad to the point of it smelling.
    Editors cried, “Jeeze!”
    While spraying Febreze
    In efforts to keep tears from welling.

  89. Brock Cooper Avatar

    I write and write and write
    The future is looking quite bright
    I am no slave to a wage
    Thanks to the words on my page
    But I hardly ever see the daylight

    The words on my pages they do sing
    This freelancing life is no fling
    I write like there’s no tomorrow
    To avoid a life of undue sorrow
    To make a living is the hope I do cling

  90. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
    Michelle Hensgen

    Let me write you a limerick
    will mine be the one you pick
    among them all
    or will I fall
    between the cracks like a beatnik

    There once was a girl that was problematic
    her life was quite dramatic
    money she sought
    for things that she bought
    which cluttered up her attic

    What do you need
    to be freed
    your hearts desire
    is the fire
    to exceed

    There was a girl with many dreams
    nothing was ever as it seemed it seems
    She threw pennies in wells
    wished upon stars that fell
    How her eyes would gleam

    Her head was in the clouds
    she wouldn’t listen unless you were loud
    money couldn’t buy her love
    her inspiration came from above
    She was all too proud

    To fly first class
    would be kick ass!
    I need fifty more
    to settle the score.
    will this be pass?

    There was a woman with children
    that didn’t think she would sleep again
    two under two
    what will she do?
    Grandma to the rescue, amen!

    Does money make this world go round
    where we, writers are bound?
    to make sense
    of our existence
    in these words that we have found.

    What is a limerick?
    Is it a gimmick?
    Words that rhyme
    in five lines?
    What makes you tick?

    1. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
      Michelle Hensgen

      To fly first class
      would be kick ass!
      I need fifty more
      to settle the score.
      will this pass?

      excuse me please omit be in last line. typo’s drive me mad!

  91. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
    Michelle Hensgen

    It’s the last day to submit
    what you writ
    I procrastinate so
    just let go
    and you’ll find what fits

  92. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
    Michelle Hensgen

    There was a girl
    in this world
    they said she can’t
    but she wanted to enchant
    her ideas swirled

  93. Joan Garlick Avatar
    Joan Garlick

    There once was a writer named Stella
    Who wanted to write a best seller
    She got book and pen out
    But she could not work out
    A plot for both female and feller

  94. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
    Michelle Hensgen

    There was a man who couldn’t decide.
    With all these words came much pride.
    Who has what it takes to win?
    They’re all good. Is this a sin?
    He laid down his head and cried.

  95. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
    Michelle Hensgen

    At the computer I stare
    awaiting approval I glare
    if you only knew what this would mean
    to read my words, to be seen as a human being
    will you care

    There is no limit to the sky
    do you ever ask yourself why?
    there is infinite possibilities
    would you agree?
    Do you dare to fly?

    There was a girl who made you smile
    She would travel miles and miles
    nothing tied her down
    in this imagination she wound
    She promises that it’s worth your while

  96. Denise Grier Avatar

    There once was a writer from Dallas
    Who dreamed of life in a palace
    But as freelancing goes
    though to the grindstone was her nose
    She lived instead on a pallet.
    .-= Denise Grier´s last blog ..Places to Enter Free Sweepstakes =-.

  97. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
    Michelle Hensgen

    dismiss all the insults
    come on now we are adults
    hold your head up high
    do not cry
    you will get results
    if you just try

  98. Michelle Hensgen Avatar
    Michelle Hensgen

    There was a girl who spent her days dwellling
    about all her misfortunes and mispellings
    then she had a thought
    to give it all she got
    from then on she never stopped trying

  99. Vicki Foy Avatar
    Vicki Foy

    The Limerick Contest has ended
    My limericks all I have sended
    But I’ve seen not a note
    ’bout what everyone wrote
    To where has the Kick-Ass book wended?

  100. Mickey Brown Avatar

    Im typing with bad ear ache
    My heads banging its not a fake
    Cotton buds are a no no
    In my lughole a no go
    The buiscuit its starting to take

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