You Know You’re A Freelance Writer…

By Terreece M. Clarke

You Know You’re A Freelance Writer…

…when something interesting happens you say “Wait ’till I blog this!” instead of “Wait until I tell…”

…if beside your bedside table is a well-worn, well-loved copy of the AP style guide.

…if you have ever been warned NOT to write about a family member’s embarrassing medical issue.

…if your window has forehead and nose smudges because of your “mailman with a check watch.”

…when you end conversations with “Can I use you as a source?”

…if your idea of scrapbooking is organizing your clips.

…if you your mother can track your life better through your blog than your phone conversations.

…when the majority of your friends are people you’ve met through Twitter.

…if your mortal fear is a power outage because of no internet connection.

…when you Google yourself not out of narcissism but to find your clip links.

…when all you want for Christmas is a stable blogging platform.

…when your good clothes are pajamas without holes.

…if you have a “They finally paid me” dance.

…if you routinely stand in front of your home in the morning laughing and pointing at all the poor suckers that have to commute to work.

…if you’ve ever heard “You know, you’re home all day so could you…”

FWJ community – give me your best lines – “You Know You’re a Freelance Writer…”

photo courtesy of





31 responses
  1. Jodee Avatar

    Great post, Terreece!

    You know you’re a freelance writer when … you start to salivate at the thought of going to Staples to check out the latest in office supplies. OK, maybe that’s just me…. 😉

  2. Amanda Nicole Avatar

    Jodee! I JUST got back from a trip to Staples! Is it sick that I love the smell of that place?

    You know you’re a freelance writer … when you have enough back issues of magazines and old newspapers stashed throughout the house to be mistaken for a crazy cat lady.

  3. Susan Johnston Avatar

    You know you’re a freelance writer… when your magazine subscriptions include everything from American Baby to Zookeeper Monthly… and all of those subscriptions are considered legitimate business expenses!

  4. C.J. Harley Avatar

    I want to see T-Shirts!!! Although, I wonder who would see them besides the cat and dog.

  5. Terreece Avatar

    I love Staples! Amanda & Jodee we have a kindred soul. If Staples had a coffee are with WiFi I might just move in :0).

    Susan, THAT’s a good one :0) It’s so funny, we should do a blog post about what mags writers subscribe to or read for free at the bookstore & library. I bet that would be quite a list.

  6. Leigh Avatar

    No, Jodee, it’s not just you! I went to Staples tonight and salivated over a laser printer, dry erase calendar, and new desk. I bought a new desk chair though, so it wasn’t all for nothing.

  7. B J Keltz Avatar

    I had to laugh…when folks at my mom’s church ask how I’m doing, she says “well, in her blog yesterday…” It always cracks me up.

  8. Lori Avatar

    Ha, ha! This is great. I have to admit I do secretly smile to myself as I watch people leaving for work. 🙂 I don’t miss that at all.

  9. Kate Avatar

    “…if your window has forehead and nose smudges because of your “mailman with a check watch.”” So (embarrassingly)true!

  10. Deb Avatar

    If you can’t make vacations plans until after researching which hotels have free Internet access.

  11. DeMarco Avatar

    …If you come to this website looking at the day’s list of freelance writing jobs before grabbing some breakfast.

  12. Jodee Avatar

    @ Deb: That goes without saying! 🙂

    @ Amanda and Terreece: If Staples had a coffee shop, too, there would be no reason to leave, would there?

  13. Katy Avatar

    how hilarious is this post? i totally have a “got paid” dance AND lost internet makes me hyperventilate. heck, slow internet makes me do that! love this!

  14. Dawn Avatar

    If business conferences are usually made in your pajamas 😀

  15. Dawn Avatar

    Oh! and if you nearly have a panic attack over your mouse hopping across the screen in fear of the most recent virus slipping through Avast.

  16. Dawn Avatar

    Oh yeah! if you have reoccurring nightmares about your internet conn. bill not being paid.

  17. Terreece Clarke Avatar

    You guys are cracking me up! Deb, earlier this summer when we lost power because of a thunderstorm we went to a hotel that had a big sign that said “Wi Fi Access.” Sleepy, frazzled and towing the munchkins & hubby I went for it only to find, to my horror, the access was available for a fee!

    I felt like that scene in Poltergist when she’s standing at the end of the hall and the hall suddenly elongates. “Nooooooo!!!”

  18. Misty Avatar

    Deb, that is totally me. After the recent hurricane, when everything in our home was damaged and we had to seek shelter elsewhere, internet connection was my main consideration. Forget the continental breakfast, I gotta have my internet!

  19. Cherrye at My Bella Vita Avatar

    … If you dream in 140 character segments

    … If you can’t get back to sleep because your mind is already writing the next day’s post/article


    GREAT post. I literally lol at some of these!

  20. Gabrielle Avatar

    … when all you want for Hanukkah is Roget’s Super Thesaurus

    … when you realize that the most recent edition of the dictionary is not up to date.

    … when you can wallpaper your bathroom in rejection letters. It’s official at that point!

    … when the family contacts you first to write the family newsletter.

    … when your roommate’s family contacts you first to write their family newsletter.

    … when you have a map in your head of all the wi-fi cafes in the neighborhood … and the neighboring neighborhoods as well.

    … before you take a business trip, you create a map in your head of all the wi-fi cafes in the town of destination.

  21. Genesis Avatar

    Oh, great post! I love Staples, but we don`t have one here in Guatemala. sigh. And I totally have the “got paid” dance!

    You know you`re a freelance writer if . . . your workday consists of periods spent typing with your arms around two toddlers who insist on sitting on your lap while you work!

    . . . you actually have the ability to work from a sunny tropical beach (even if you don`t take advantage of that fact).

    . . . you check your Paypal account every five minutes after sending an article to see if they`ve paid you yet.

  22. Deb Avatar

    …when you’re in the frozen peas aisle at the supermarket and a blog post springs into your mind.

  23. Alik Avatar

    This gave me a good laugh!

    …when you spend more money per month on coffee than you do on groceries.

  24. lornadoone Avatar

    …when you check your inbox for client feedback before you pee in the morning.

    Also, I know I’m a freelancer because I’m still asleep instead of being up laughing at those heading off to work in the morning.

  25. Jodee Avatar

    @ Amanda Nicole: I went to Staples today and for the first time, I really noticed the way the store smelled. (No, I wasn’t walking around sniffing everything…)It was pretty good, actually, LOL!

  26. Valencia Avatar

    Hilarious 🙂

    ….when you get excited about the new edition of Writer’s Market

  27. Amy Avatar

    Well said. This made my day. 🙂

  28. dh Avatar

    When you mute the phone while listening because the dog is barking or the kids are yelling and then remember you’re talking with your mother. Or maybe that’s just me.

  29. Terreece Clarke Avatar

    …when you spend way too much time researching productivity tools, which is unproductive.

  30. Connie Avatar

    You know you’re a freelance writer when….

    You get responses to queries you don’t remember sending

    You obsessively read the job boards even though you have no time for new projects

    You assume clients wont pay until they’ve come through three times, on time

    You type a thousand words without looking at the clock

    You wake up with the biggest smile of your life, every single morning because you’ve left the rat race forever

    You’re thankful to Deb and Jodee because you now have a career, and not just a hobby 🙂

  31. Jodee Avatar

    @ Connie: Thank you for the last one; that’s very kind of you! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.