Ridiculous Freelance Ad of the Week

It’s time to share the Ridiculous Freelance Ad of the Week.  Let me tell you, I came across some doozies.  In fact, I’ll have to save some of them for later, since I had to copy and paste them because they were too asinine to simply ignore altogether.  I won’t tell you specifically where I’m finding these, but let’s just say that there are probably more of these kinds of ads than decent ones there.  It’s a little frustrating when you’re looking for gigs, but it’s a goldmine when you like to point out potential employer stupidity on your blog.

Today’s ad looks pretty good, actually, until you get to the very bottom:

Winning bidder will write an ebook on various methods of marketing to drive LOCAL traffic to local church squeeze page/list opt-in page to receive a free offer. Target market: churches.

You will include strategies, with some step-by-step, for using craigslist, newspaper classifieds, direct mail and the like. You will also provide some suggested sample ad copy that they might use for each. Thus, some marketing experience will bode well in your favor for this job. You must do the research as well as the writing.

The ebook will be no more than 30 pages, no less than 25 pages, font no larger than 12 pt Arial, double-spaced lines, margins no larger than 1″ on all sides. 30 pages does not include title page, table of contents and other backmatter.

Your work needs to be HIGH quality and content rich, no fluff.

You need to have exceptional skills in English grammar, punctuation, spelling and structure.

Applicants must:
1. Have an excellent command of the written English language
2. Complete work in a timely manner
3. Good research skills
4. Experience in marketing writing is highly favorable; note it in your bid if it is the case for you
5. Good Microsoft Word skills
6. Have access to IM services such as Skype or Google Talk

Please send samples of your writing (x2) Please note: all samples given must be ORIGINAL.

This is a ghostwriting job. We will retain all copyrights to final deliverable.

This project is due within 4 days of awarding.

So, did you catch that?  Basically, this ad says, “I would like you to research and write this 25 to 30 page information product with samples from numerous outlets…Oh, and you get a whole four days to do it.”  Four days?  Four days!  Four days?  I’d say something witty here, but I can’t get past those two words.

I mean, even if you didn’t happen to have anything else going on, who could put together a decently researched 30-page report in four days?  (Other than a No-Doze swilling college student with graduation on the line, that is.)

People are crazy, I tell you.







4 responses
  1. Jodee Avatar

    Did a red flag appear when you saw that this person wants original samples (x2)?
    .-= Jodee´s last blog ..Which Trait is Most Important to Freelance Writing Success? =-.

  2. diane Avatar

    Wow is all I can say. And they also didn’t put how much they are willing to pay for this miracle either.

  3. Al Kane Avatar
    Al Kane

    Most jobs on craigslist are a waste of time. They want, they need, the must have, but when it comes time to pay, it’s chump change. Here’s a sample article posted on All Voices–they advertise for writers all the time. This is what you get when you pay someone pennies a word (instead of hiring a pro):

    “There is some news going around the the music producer Charles Cantrell has just bought a tiny horse which could be the world’s smallest horse. The horse which has been named Einstein – and I don’t know for what reasons – was born on the ‘Tiz-A-Miniature Horse Farm in New Hampshire and is of the Pinto Stallion breed. The owner and manager of the farm, Judy Smith, was in the intentions of selling the horse until Charles found out what she was thinking. Charles immediately made her an offer to purchase the horse from her and when asked why he mentioned that it would be a good surprise for her.”


  4. shishi Avatar

    maybe the dude was looking for an indian, chinese or filipino writer to accept the job for pennies. that’s really absurd!

    by the way, im new here and im filipino. it just sucks when some people ask for too much and yet they pay too little. there are many offers on job sites for experienced freelance writers like this:

    $1 per 500-700 words article
    $3 per 600 words article

    man oh man! that’s just great! it’s degrading! we deserve better pay rate.

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